Can anyone help?
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never give up
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:59 pm
Hello everyone!I'm trapped in a huge anxiety cycle.I am pretty much housebound and I keep going in this circle of anxiety,panick depression,you know crying,tired,wanting just to give up because it just seems never ending.I'm surrounded by very negative people who are verbally abusive and just down right critical and mean!I've been working hard to face my fears and start to feel confident but get pulled back down.I know I shouldn't let them do this to me but I'm a super sensitive person.There's times when I feel like I'm dying!I dwell on this feeling until it gives me a intense panick attack.That's most of my problem is that I just keep obsessing over the way I feel over and over.I don't know how to stop this when I have people constantly putting me down.Now it's so engrained in my head that I'm going to have to try and change everything about me.I've become anxiety!Can someone please help me and build my hope back up?I really need it.Thank-you!
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Guest
hello, well first of all you need to not let people bother you in that way remember you are only giving them permission to let you treat that way!! be strong i know easy to say hard to do i know trust me!! i was housebond for like a month it was horrible i suffer from panic attacks but have not had one in about 2 months yea!! but i want to tell you that u can do it! read a good book of self steem and be strong dont let them put you down and if u are around negative people go away from them good luck!!!!!! dulce
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Guest
never give up,
I love your name - it's resplendent with ATTITUDE!
Only you can control you. And YOU are the only one who can "fix" you as well. You can do this. Yes, you have negative people around you, but you can't control them. You CAN control your reaction to them (which may be what they are trying to get in the first place - a negative response in you!). Focus on you and getting better. Float through the panic - do the relaxation cd/tape - and when you feel those bad feelings coming on - remember to give yourself lots of positive self-talk. Remember the brain believes what it hears - so say it out loud if you have to...you are worth more than this...you are a good, creative, caring person!
Hang in there, sweetie!
Best,
Dawn
I love your name - it's resplendent with ATTITUDE!
Only you can control you. And YOU are the only one who can "fix" you as well. You can do this. Yes, you have negative people around you, but you can't control them. You CAN control your reaction to them (which may be what they are trying to get in the first place - a negative response in you!). Focus on you and getting better. Float through the panic - do the relaxation cd/tape - and when you feel those bad feelings coming on - remember to give yourself lots of positive self-talk. Remember the brain believes what it hears - so say it out loud if you have to...you are worth more than this...you are a good, creative, caring person!
Hang in there, sweetie!
Best,
Dawn
I agree with Proverb31Mom!
First of all let me remove the thought of pointing a finger at you and saying you are weak, NO! Just the opposite!! but you are the one who determines who or what hurts you. Kinda' the opposite of what we usually think huh? Elanor Roosevelt said: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.(see the quotations page here: <A HREF="http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Eleanor_Roosevelt" TARGET=_blank>http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/El ... osevelt</A>
)
When I saw this quote it hit home with me! It is so very true when you think about it. You mentioned that you are surrounded by negative people, I wonder if they live in the same house as you do? If so that makes it a little more difficult to get away from them, but you need to set some boundaries with them regardless if they are in the same home or not. My wife has a daughter that is a drunk and so is her husband, they have 2 kids, so the daughter uses the kids to gain access to my wife. I saw what this was doing to my wife and our marriage so I was forced to set boundaries and limits. I say this only to show you that setting boundaries may be difficult or hurtful (they may even curse you for setting them!) but they must be set. Yes they will try to push your buttons, but don't let them. You work on YOU! do NOT worry what others do or say. Also remember that NOBODY in this world determines WHO nor WHAT you are!! repeat...NOBODY besides you determines your worth.
Let me share a book title with you. the author is Joel Osteen, book title is : Your Best Life Now.
Hang in there, stay in the workbook every chance you get! Read self help books or get them on audio cd as I have. Shad helmstetter is a good author, google his name for his books.
Take care,
Rod
First of all let me remove the thought of pointing a finger at you and saying you are weak, NO! Just the opposite!! but you are the one who determines who or what hurts you. Kinda' the opposite of what we usually think huh? Elanor Roosevelt said: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.(see the quotations page here: <A HREF="http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Eleanor_Roosevelt" TARGET=_blank>http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/El ... osevelt</A>
)
When I saw this quote it hit home with me! It is so very true when you think about it. You mentioned that you are surrounded by negative people, I wonder if they live in the same house as you do? If so that makes it a little more difficult to get away from them, but you need to set some boundaries with them regardless if they are in the same home or not. My wife has a daughter that is a drunk and so is her husband, they have 2 kids, so the daughter uses the kids to gain access to my wife. I saw what this was doing to my wife and our marriage so I was forced to set boundaries and limits. I say this only to show you that setting boundaries may be difficult or hurtful (they may even curse you for setting them!) but they must be set. Yes they will try to push your buttons, but don't let them. You work on YOU! do NOT worry what others do or say. Also remember that NOBODY in this world determines WHO nor WHAT you are!! repeat...NOBODY besides you determines your worth.
Let me share a book title with you. the author is Joel Osteen, book title is : Your Best Life Now.
Hang in there, stay in the workbook every chance you get! Read self help books or get them on audio cd as I have. Shad helmstetter is a good author, google his name for his books.
Take care,
Rod
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Guest
Hello!Thank you guys so much for caring.Yes the people that I'm talking about are my family.my husband,and my 12 and 13 year old daughters.I also have a little boy whose 7.He's the only one who shows any kind of love.I'm very lonely.When I get around people though i get instant panick alot of the time.I haven't quit figured out why yet.I feel like I've been stripped of everything.Don't get me wrong I'm very thankful for the blessings that God has given me.I hurt very deeply but refuse to totally give into it.That's where I came up with the name never give up.Thank you guys!
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Guest
Never Give Up ~
I understand completely where you are coming from. As anxiety sufferers we tend to be deeply sensitive people & that can affect us in both positive and negative ways. The key to turning this around into something positive is working on your thought process as well as your reactions to your environment/people around you.
I am in no way an expert and will soon be going through the program again a second time, but the skills this program teaches are wonderful. I definitely agree with Rod ~ look into books by Shad Helmstetter, his work is very insightful as well as useful.
The key is to learn to love yourself unconditionally [easier said than done, I know, but it IS possible!] it will make you feel a whole lot better, I promise.
I wish you nothing but the best! <3
I understand completely where you are coming from. As anxiety sufferers we tend to be deeply sensitive people & that can affect us in both positive and negative ways. The key to turning this around into something positive is working on your thought process as well as your reactions to your environment/people around you.
I am in no way an expert and will soon be going through the program again a second time, but the skills this program teaches are wonderful. I definitely agree with Rod ~ look into books by Shad Helmstetter, his work is very insightful as well as useful.
The key is to learn to love yourself unconditionally [easier said than done, I know, but it IS possible!] it will make you feel a whole lot better, I promise.
I wish you nothing but the best! <3
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Guest
never give up.
I think you need to put on your tough side and stand up to the hubby and the teens. They pick on you because they can and thats not right but you have the power to change this.
You need to say next time they say something terribly negative to you. Why do you say that?
What gives you the right to talk that way to me? I am your Mother/Wife and I deserve respect and I will settle for nothing less.
Remember with your kids you are the parent start disciplining for the rude behaivor they display. Take away some privledges whatever you think is important to them. I think if you start to display some authority with them it will help you to gain the respect you need to get them to stop this.
With your husband you need to sit him down and seriously talk without interruption....dont be attacking but also dont be weak. You need to let him know that you do not appreciate the way he is treating you and his poor behaivor is now rubbing off on the teens. Let him know that it hurts your feelings when he belittles you and you would like him to stop it right now.
If you have the program the lesson on assertive behaivor is a great one for you to get to if you havent and review if you have. I reveiw my lessons often to keep the skills fresh in my mind.
You stand up for you! You are a good person and your feelings are important and you deserve respect. Be proud of your hard work. Your doing a great job.....Stay focused and keep going forward.
You can do it.
dodger
I think you need to put on your tough side and stand up to the hubby and the teens. They pick on you because they can and thats not right but you have the power to change this.
You need to say next time they say something terribly negative to you. Why do you say that?
What gives you the right to talk that way to me? I am your Mother/Wife and I deserve respect and I will settle for nothing less.
Remember with your kids you are the parent start disciplining for the rude behaivor they display. Take away some privledges whatever you think is important to them. I think if you start to display some authority with them it will help you to gain the respect you need to get them to stop this.
With your husband you need to sit him down and seriously talk without interruption....dont be attacking but also dont be weak. You need to let him know that you do not appreciate the way he is treating you and his poor behaivor is now rubbing off on the teens. Let him know that it hurts your feelings when he belittles you and you would like him to stop it right now.
If you have the program the lesson on assertive behaivor is a great one for you to get to if you havent and review if you have. I reveiw my lessons often to keep the skills fresh in my mind.
You stand up for you! You are a good person and your feelings are important and you deserve respect. Be proud of your hard work. Your doing a great job.....Stay focused and keep going forward.
You can do it.
dodger
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Guest
Hello NeverGiveUP!
Pleased to meet you. I am 'brand spankin' new to this program and when I read your post I felt that I needed to respond. I too have a somewhat similar situation in my life. I always used to feel like I was the best (reality may say that I wasn't). Again, I always used to feel like I was the best. Then somewhere down the line ----I LOST ME! The anxiety and panic have always been with me but now they are taking there toll. Do you ever find yourself saying "I just don't care anymore?" I do. And this is something I NEED TO CHANGE! Yes, others have/are contributing to this - but, it is I that have control. It is I that have control over how I feel. Deep down I believe that everyone is good. The ages of your teen daughters suggest that their behavior towards you is part of the teen years - growing up - maybe they are afraid and just lashing out from time to time. As far as your husband - maybe he is just frustrated. As far as you - Life, LIFE is up to you. I do know how words can hurt. Why do we let them hurt us? I think after a while we just become numb. But,there is HOPE.
There is always HOPE. Do something for yourself.
Do something that only makes YOU happy. Most of all, follow this program and learn to relax.
I feel it already helping me.
The important part of my post is this:
I read one of the print-out flashcards and it had some positive reinforcement/saying--
I AM INTELLIGENT
I AM CREATIVE
I AM CAPABLE
You are too!
Pleased to meet you. I am 'brand spankin' new to this program and when I read your post I felt that I needed to respond. I too have a somewhat similar situation in my life. I always used to feel like I was the best (reality may say that I wasn't). Again, I always used to feel like I was the best. Then somewhere down the line ----I LOST ME! The anxiety and panic have always been with me but now they are taking there toll. Do you ever find yourself saying "I just don't care anymore?" I do. And this is something I NEED TO CHANGE! Yes, others have/are contributing to this - but, it is I that have control. It is I that have control over how I feel. Deep down I believe that everyone is good. The ages of your teen daughters suggest that their behavior towards you is part of the teen years - growing up - maybe they are afraid and just lashing out from time to time. As far as your husband - maybe he is just frustrated. As far as you - Life, LIFE is up to you. I do know how words can hurt. Why do we let them hurt us? I think after a while we just become numb. But,there is HOPE.
There is always HOPE. Do something for yourself.
Do something that only makes YOU happy. Most of all, follow this program and learn to relax.
I feel it already helping me.
The important part of my post is this:
I read one of the print-out flashcards and it had some positive reinforcement/saying--
I AM INTELLIGENT
I AM CREATIVE
I AM CAPABLE
You are too!