Stress Center Peer Support

For about the past year or so, I have not been sure about how I feel about things. I have had anxiety since I was in the first grade. But now lately I dont even know how I feel like I know I am not happy, but I dont know if i am sad either. I am kinda numb. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we actually got into a fight about a week ago and we broke up (only for a short time) and I didnt know how I felt about it, I didnt cry about it that much but i thought about him and I missed him, with past experiences like that i would have cried my eyes out for days. After that had happened I started getting the derealization feelings again, I know that I am here, but I dont know how i feel, i feel detached. It comes and it goes. I just turned 21 yesterday, and I feel like I am going to miss out on my 20's bc I let myself be distracted with my anxiety pretty much all threw my teens. I was afraid to do anything and I still am. I am starting to think that the way I have been feeling the numb feeling is from my meds. I have been on lexapro for about 4 or more years now, ever since i was 16 so I dont remember how it feels when i am off them, I am thinking now, I have been on those meds for so long but I am still feeling like this, i still get depressed, I still have anxiety. Now when i go threw my stages of my bad anxiety and they up my dose it does help. But a big part of me wants off them but is too scared to do it. I have started over the program for the 4th time, i have not finished it yet. I guess bc of the fear of it not working, or i start feeling better so i stop. Someone please help me out. I am so sick of feeling stuck and trapped in my own skin

Hi!

I am on Session 12 in the program right now and Lucinda talks about the anxiety of our decisions and changes (that we know we need to make) maybe being wrong is sometimes more than the anxiety of staying in the rut and problems that we are in currently...so we stay stuck.

There comes a point when you realize that you just don't want to be stuck anymore and you'll get out...even if it is slow going.

You are the same age as my daugher - and have such a lot ahead of you...I'd hate to see you missing out on it because of "what if thinking" and anxiety.

I guess my only recommendation would be to really, really try to finish out the program. So what if it doesn't work? Is what you're doing right now working? It doesn't sound like it...so really I don't think it can get worse really...why not give it a good shot?

Also (OK - I lied - I have 2 recommendations! )...don't be so hard on yourself. GIve yourself time to heal and get over this anxiety and other related issues. You didn't get this way in a day...it's going to take longer than a day to recover.

You deserve a bette life - it's up to you to make the move to get it!

Blessings,
Dawn

Living 4 the future...I just wanted to chime in that I know how you feel. I, too am suffering from depression, anxiety, DP/DR and feel completely stuck in my own skin and suffocating.I completed the program three years ago and felt great since then but recently had a set back and feel worse than ever now. I have started over again and am hopeful that I can regain my ground. I would suggest trying to stick it out to the end. I know it's hard to do. The same thing happened to me the first time. As soon as I felt better I didn't want to continue or be reminded of how bad I felt. I am hopeful that we both can begin to feel like ourselves again soon.