How to Cope With Getting Everyone Else Better and No Time for Myself to Get Better
I'm a wife and mother, who supposidly (Spelling?) has fibromyalgia, but defenitly has depression and anxiety. The problem lies also with the fact of trying to help my 20 year old son recover from drug addiction,and could possibly go to prison and never return for this. That's not all, a 19 year old with ADHD, and other health impairments that could possibly go to prison as well for a crime he did. Not by any means do I instill any of their behaviors. And yet also my husband is an alcoholic getting ready to go to rehab, and I also have two girls ( 17 & 14), that so far are ok and a 12 year old son, that has some issues with behavior, not relly bad though, I hope! I hope to god there is someone else out there besides me in this situation and would love any help and support, as I don't even have any family either!
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Guest
Wow, that is a lot for anybody to bear..I have been in the program for 5 weeks and have seen a big difference in me but I do not have your problems,BUT a lot of folks do have them like yours and even worse.So the question is where can you get the desperate help you need? There is a chat room here that everyone uses and you can also use to get the help you need from folks like you and me who are there to provide this help. Where you log in to the program at the top right is the chat room..come and get relief...Bass
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Guest
NClarke
I hear what your saying, and I understand your heartache. First of all, I had a son in his 20's who worked right beside me for several years and didn't have a clue he was addicted to Presciption drugs. Finding this out was both heartbreaking, and of course as a mother, I wanted to "Fix" him. I also felt guilty because, I assumed I had done something wrong, and took on a HUGE guilt!
He did go to rehab, and came out clean, or so we thought, but he is now 40yrs old and although he maintains a good job, he is still takinig prescription drugs.
The difference is this: I love my son with all my heart, but HE makes his own choices. There is nothing I can do to "fix" him. I had to draw a boundary for myself, as did my husband.
For me to grow in my own recovery of Anxiety, I had to let go, and allow him to make his own mistakes and accept the responsibilities for his actions.
Do I love him any less,, NO! He is my first child. I pray for him, and for God to give me peace about the boundry I drew. I had to begin taking care of myself physically and mentally.
A child never learns, till they have had to face their mistakes.
That said, You will also be in my prayers, for your other children and your husband. There again, Im glad your husband is going to rehab. But this to has to be HIS decision, your wanting him to , wont be recovery for him. As with any addiction, the "person" has to want to recover themselves, or the recovery won't work.
Nelly:)
I hear what your saying, and I understand your heartache. First of all, I had a son in his 20's who worked right beside me for several years and didn't have a clue he was addicted to Presciption drugs. Finding this out was both heartbreaking, and of course as a mother, I wanted to "Fix" him. I also felt guilty because, I assumed I had done something wrong, and took on a HUGE guilt!
He did go to rehab, and came out clean, or so we thought, but he is now 40yrs old and although he maintains a good job, he is still takinig prescription drugs.
The difference is this: I love my son with all my heart, but HE makes his own choices. There is nothing I can do to "fix" him. I had to draw a boundary for myself, as did my husband.
For me to grow in my own recovery of Anxiety, I had to let go, and allow him to make his own mistakes and accept the responsibilities for his actions.
Do I love him any less,, NO! He is my first child. I pray for him, and for God to give me peace about the boundry I drew. I had to begin taking care of myself physically and mentally.
A child never learns, till they have had to face their mistakes.
That said, You will also be in my prayers, for your other children and your husband. There again, Im glad your husband is going to rehab. But this to has to be HIS decision, your wanting him to , wont be recovery for him. As with any addiction, the "person" has to want to recover themselves, or the recovery won't work.
Nelly:)
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Guest
Yes, I can relate. What you are having is mAJOR overload and you seem to be the foundation of all who are collapsing around you. I have been there and done that. My family and friends somehow look at me like I am a pillar of strength. I guess I have a hard shell but deep down I am crumbling slowly. NO ONE IS AN ISLAND. No person can withstand such intense stress without support. Its so sad what you are experiencing, its just incredible. I wonder why some people are surrounde by such terrible circumstances. It seems like a punishment doesnt it? I know I feel that way. I get stamped into the ground and everyone thinks I will sprout up again and bloom like a flower...and most times I do...but it gets tougher as more and more things happen and you get older. I hope your girls are supporting you. You NEED someone physically there for this as well as this site. creamcheese
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Guest
Wow, I sure can relate!! I have a 40 year old daughter who is addicted to controlled substances, I have an alcholic husband who is a good man but not there emotionally for me, I have a 36 year old son who is battling cancer for 2 years now and just underwent a stem cell transplant. We won't know for another month whether the stem cell transplant worked. he has also had seizures and his wife has left him. So he is staying back and forth between me and my ex for now. I have to really watch myself to not feel so overhwlemed. And I do make sure I take time for myself as often as possible. If you don't take care of yourself, then you can't help others. I will keep you in my prayers and just know that someone out here truly understands. P