Please help. I got the program in October and was making great progress. Then some stupid things happened, like my dog brought a bird in the house, and my superstitious nature took back over. I am unreasonably scared of something happening to my mother. Then my Cousin/Aunt died, and to make a long story short, I have been hiding from life since week 4 of the program. Now life came and slapped me in the face for Christmas. My mother is still getting progressively worse, and now my youngest son, 17, is home from california and ran away from home here night before last in order that he would not have to go back. This happened after I found out that my very irresponsible 20 year old got his Virgin girlfriend pregnant - and she may have lost it. She has disorders that make pregnancy dangerous for her. My 20 yera old was off with a 14 year old who is probably going to try to claim pregnant, especially since hervery iresponsible mother allowed them to have sex - and NO, I had no clue he was even running around with a 14 year old. Even if her parents would not care, I would not allow it. Now I have to make some hard choices, and I need my sanity to do this. I really am a very emotional mess right now, and i don't know how to start the program back now that I got so far behind. This program works, and my son may even need to do it with me, but I feel lost, like i am really falling apart right now. How do I get back on track?
Tina
I need help getting back on track...please, I feel like everything is falling apart
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Guest
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Tena:
I am sorry you are having such a rough time. Believe me the sky is not falling, this too will pass. Have you tried just going back to the relaxation tapes? How about the journaling? If you would begin writing in your journal all that you are going threw, it will relieve your tension. I am on week 4, and I have social anxiety, so this Christmas season is hard on me. You are powerless in controling your adult sons, and it sound like their girlfriends parents are in the same boat. It is hard, but give them to God to handle, He does very well. The son who ran away needs counciling and you can help him get it, and then you must relax and go with the flow.
I am sorry you are having such a rough time. Believe me the sky is not falling, this too will pass. Have you tried just going back to the relaxation tapes? How about the journaling? If you would begin writing in your journal all that you are going threw, it will relieve your tension. I am on week 4, and I have social anxiety, so this Christmas season is hard on me. You are powerless in controling your adult sons, and it sound like their girlfriends parents are in the same boat. It is hard, but give them to God to handle, He does very well. The son who ran away needs counciling and you can help him get it, and then you must relax and go with the flow.
ANGELS CAN FLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES LIGHTLY
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Guest
Hi Tina!
You have already proven you have grit by ordering the program, so stay with it. Life happens to everyone, and it is how we handle it that makes the difference.EXAMPLE: Have you seen the various people on tv such as Condalesa Rice (SP?) who came from a poverty stricken home, but she worked her way through school and now look at her, she is very intelligent and I am sure she makes good money. Others who have come from a bad background, but have really made a name for themselves! The difference in those people and us, is their thinking is different, they charge at life's problems head-on, while we tend to pull back at almost everything. Makes sense dosent it?
MY point is: change the thought process! I personally have done this and wow how life can be sooooo much better! I want to suggest books by Norman Vincent Peale, especially one titled 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. (I got them on audio-cd) I have another that I havent listened to called 'You Can if You Think You Can'. Most of these were written in the 1950's or 60's, but they still are read by thousands of people wanting to improve their life.
StressCenter.com Lesson 2 says 'six steps' 3 says 'Self Talk...' 4 says expectations. All of these and more are wanting US to TAKE ACTION. Us to change the mind, change our thoughts and the thought process.Be DETERMINED that you dont want to stay in this fearful and anxious way anymore. Be Determined that you will move forward then you will make great leaps and bounds. Let fear know that it must go away now!
I am living proof that someone can indeed change their mind and move forward, even in the worst of situations. I have read about soooo many people that have said NOMORE to fear and now are off meds and have no panic attacks. If they can do it, so can we! Their situations were no diferent than ours. I personally know a man who had it much-much worse than I did and he is a very happy and functional man today!
As for your children, if they live you , you have every right to get them to straighten up and do right! A book by Author Henry Cloud simply titled 'Boundaries'. Look on amazon for it, read the reviews.
ALL I have tried to do here is try to help you see that we CAN CHANGE THIS! Even under difficult circumstances.
PM me if u want to talk further.
Take Care,
Rod
p.s. Sorry it's so long.
You have already proven you have grit by ordering the program, so stay with it. Life happens to everyone, and it is how we handle it that makes the difference.EXAMPLE: Have you seen the various people on tv such as Condalesa Rice (SP?) who came from a poverty stricken home, but she worked her way through school and now look at her, she is very intelligent and I am sure she makes good money. Others who have come from a bad background, but have really made a name for themselves! The difference in those people and us, is their thinking is different, they charge at life's problems head-on, while we tend to pull back at almost everything. Makes sense dosent it?
MY point is: change the thought process! I personally have done this and wow how life can be sooooo much better! I want to suggest books by Norman Vincent Peale, especially one titled 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. (I got them on audio-cd) I have another that I havent listened to called 'You Can if You Think You Can'. Most of these were written in the 1950's or 60's, but they still are read by thousands of people wanting to improve their life.
StressCenter.com Lesson 2 says 'six steps' 3 says 'Self Talk...' 4 says expectations. All of these and more are wanting US to TAKE ACTION. Us to change the mind, change our thoughts and the thought process.Be DETERMINED that you dont want to stay in this fearful and anxious way anymore. Be Determined that you will move forward then you will make great leaps and bounds. Let fear know that it must go away now!
I am living proof that someone can indeed change their mind and move forward, even in the worst of situations. I have read about soooo many people that have said NOMORE to fear and now are off meds and have no panic attacks. If they can do it, so can we! Their situations were no diferent than ours. I personally know a man who had it much-much worse than I did and he is a very happy and functional man today!
As for your children, if they live you , you have every right to get them to straighten up and do right! A book by Author Henry Cloud simply titled 'Boundaries'. Look on amazon for it, read the reviews.
ALL I have tried to do here is try to help you see that we CAN CHANGE THIS! Even under difficult circumstances.
PM me if u want to talk further.
Take Care,
Rod
p.s. Sorry it's so long.
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~*schnauzermom*~
- Posts: 183
- Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm
Wow, Thanks Everybody.
I really have not been online as much as I should. I have a social anxiety, but have tried to hide it and thought i was doing a good job until my in-laws tricked (the way I see it...)me into attending a small gathering last week. It was the first in a few years, and frankly I was scared witless, and I think it showed, but as I feared, was interpreted as snobery by my Father-in-law's new wife and daughter.
So, until this week, most of my posts have been to few people that had something going on that I could try to help them with by experience - but I had not really spoken of any of my own fears, or overzealous expectations or phobias or anything of that nature.
Right now, I am scared for both of my sons. I gave my children to God a long time ago, but I think seeing your advice, MaudeAS, reminded me how little faith I have shown in the last few years, and that i have not asked for guidance from him in a long time. I have now, so thank you so much for reminding me that faith is so important. Deb and Joe, thanks. the program does work, and getting online does help, even if I am just learning how to let this part work. The same goes, if you see me online and need to talk, im me. I may take you up on your offer sometimes. I am learning that having people there does help.
Rod, thanks for the reading material suggestions. I actually had a perfectionistic day and alphebetized and catgorized my bookshelves a few weeks ago, and I have one shelf of books of the same nature as the ones you suggested. I am starting on one titled "It's Always Something" now. From what i gather, it is a story of a family and the trials and tribulations and how they handled things, and how they did ok in the end. I could be wrong, i read a lot of preludes in order ot choose one to read, and haven't started reading it yet. I think it will help and I am going to look up the suggested reading material you have as well. I will let you know of any good material i come up with. Please, let me know of more that you find.
Well, as for getting back on track with the program, I have been re listening to each session, reviewing the homework, my journal, writing in it, and now i am online as well. I see a lot in session 4 that i have to work on. Well, I see a lot of stuff in all of them, but session 4 is the biggest for me. My expectations of myself are somewhat unreasonable. I never realized that before now though. But I have to keep telling myself that even if things don't turn out like I want them to, doesn't mean they are turning out wrong. Maybe God just has things planned a little differently than I do? Does that theory sound reasonable? I thought that is one positive thought to replace my biggest and most repeated negative thought: 'Oh, my God, Everything is going wrong, and there is nothing I can do to stop it, and it is going to ruin my nice quiet little world I have created here...(that i secretly despise).' So if it is God who is ruining my plans, then maybe he just has something that is better in the long run planned, right?
Tina
I really have not been online as much as I should. I have a social anxiety, but have tried to hide it and thought i was doing a good job until my in-laws tricked (the way I see it...)me into attending a small gathering last week. It was the first in a few years, and frankly I was scared witless, and I think it showed, but as I feared, was interpreted as snobery by my Father-in-law's new wife and daughter.
So, until this week, most of my posts have been to few people that had something going on that I could try to help them with by experience - but I had not really spoken of any of my own fears, or overzealous expectations or phobias or anything of that nature.
Right now, I am scared for both of my sons. I gave my children to God a long time ago, but I think seeing your advice, MaudeAS, reminded me how little faith I have shown in the last few years, and that i have not asked for guidance from him in a long time. I have now, so thank you so much for reminding me that faith is so important. Deb and Joe, thanks. the program does work, and getting online does help, even if I am just learning how to let this part work. The same goes, if you see me online and need to talk, im me. I may take you up on your offer sometimes. I am learning that having people there does help.
Rod, thanks for the reading material suggestions. I actually had a perfectionistic day and alphebetized and catgorized my bookshelves a few weeks ago, and I have one shelf of books of the same nature as the ones you suggested. I am starting on one titled "It's Always Something" now. From what i gather, it is a story of a family and the trials and tribulations and how they handled things, and how they did ok in the end. I could be wrong, i read a lot of preludes in order ot choose one to read, and haven't started reading it yet. I think it will help and I am going to look up the suggested reading material you have as well. I will let you know of any good material i come up with. Please, let me know of more that you find.
Well, as for getting back on track with the program, I have been re listening to each session, reviewing the homework, my journal, writing in it, and now i am online as well. I see a lot in session 4 that i have to work on. Well, I see a lot of stuff in all of them, but session 4 is the biggest for me. My expectations of myself are somewhat unreasonable. I never realized that before now though. But I have to keep telling myself that even if things don't turn out like I want them to, doesn't mean they are turning out wrong. Maybe God just has things planned a little differently than I do? Does that theory sound reasonable? I thought that is one positive thought to replace my biggest and most repeated negative thought: 'Oh, my God, Everything is going wrong, and there is nothing I can do to stop it, and it is going to ruin my nice quiet little world I have created here...(that i secretly despise).' So if it is God who is ruining my plans, then maybe he just has something that is better in the long run planned, right?
Tina
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Guest
my ex girl freind thought i was rude for leaving her cousins wedding(ran out) she thought i didnt like her family which i didnt. but that was not why i left some one mentioned time to dance and that was it i started sweating and paniced so i ran outi have been doing a ot of things i used to run from but i have yet to be near a dance floor yet its a goal
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Guest