guilt and worry over being the "other guy"
Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:46 pm
Im just wondering if anyone has some helpful advice or insight into these 2 situations that have been plaguing my mind with guilt and worry past couple days?
a few years back, while i was drinking i almost had a fling with a coworker who was dating someone else at the time. he picked me up, and i don't remember much about the ride to his place except the fact that i got sick on myself and his car and he ended up putting me in the shower at his place and we didn't fool around. i am not proud of that moment and am glad we didnt have sex. i don't think it would be necessary to apologize to his significant other cause nothing happened so it seems like it would be unnecessary hurt. so i forgive myself for what i might have done, but i also don't remember if we ended up making out or doing anything else that evening that would have been inappropriate. it is eating me up, and i want to go ask this guy if anything else happened including making out. and if he said yes i would want to confess to his significant other. but not only am i worried about approaching the guy and asking him if we did anything else, but i am worried about would it be necessary to tell the significant if we made out. i also worry about saying anything cause i am not the only one involved and i think i would most likely be the only one doing the confessing which would be me doing the confessing for me and the other guy, which would lead to anger from the other guy and maybe there breaking up.
i also was in another situation at a later time when i was over a friends house and he was dating. we were chilling by ourselves in a hot tub and having some wine, and he started to rub his foot on me inappropriately. at first i acted like it was nothing what he was doing so as to try and not encourage it, then his rubbing became a lil more inappropriate and i remember thinking "well he said something about wanting to get his bf to have a threesome and he didnt sound quite open to it, but not off either, so im sure this is fine". then his bf comes home and he was like "quick lets get out of the tub" and as we were and his bf was walking by it was obvious that his bf was really mad. i know my friend talked to his bf but i don't know if he was completely honest with him. he said he talked to him and they agreed to put it behind them. so im thinking maybe i should get together with my friend and talk about what happened, telling him how i feel guilty and havent been coming over cause i feel wrong, and that i feel like his bf deserves the truth and i would like to apologize for it.
these are the things i worry about lately.
anybody have some advice or insight??? these seem especially difficult for me cause an apology to the wronged party would involve not only me but the other party would be in the spotlight as well.
a few years back, while i was drinking i almost had a fling with a coworker who was dating someone else at the time. he picked me up, and i don't remember much about the ride to his place except the fact that i got sick on myself and his car and he ended up putting me in the shower at his place and we didn't fool around. i am not proud of that moment and am glad we didnt have sex. i don't think it would be necessary to apologize to his significant other cause nothing happened so it seems like it would be unnecessary hurt. so i forgive myself for what i might have done, but i also don't remember if we ended up making out or doing anything else that evening that would have been inappropriate. it is eating me up, and i want to go ask this guy if anything else happened including making out. and if he said yes i would want to confess to his significant other. but not only am i worried about approaching the guy and asking him if we did anything else, but i am worried about would it be necessary to tell the significant if we made out. i also worry about saying anything cause i am not the only one involved and i think i would most likely be the only one doing the confessing which would be me doing the confessing for me and the other guy, which would lead to anger from the other guy and maybe there breaking up.
i also was in another situation at a later time when i was over a friends house and he was dating. we were chilling by ourselves in a hot tub and having some wine, and he started to rub his foot on me inappropriately. at first i acted like it was nothing what he was doing so as to try and not encourage it, then his rubbing became a lil more inappropriate and i remember thinking "well he said something about wanting to get his bf to have a threesome and he didnt sound quite open to it, but not off either, so im sure this is fine". then his bf comes home and he was like "quick lets get out of the tub" and as we were and his bf was walking by it was obvious that his bf was really mad. i know my friend talked to his bf but i don't know if he was completely honest with him. he said he talked to him and they agreed to put it behind them. so im thinking maybe i should get together with my friend and talk about what happened, telling him how i feel guilty and havent been coming over cause i feel wrong, and that i feel like his bf deserves the truth and i would like to apologize for it.
these are the things i worry about lately.
anybody have some advice or insight??? these seem especially difficult for me cause an apology to the wronged party would involve not only me but the other party would be in the spotlight as well.