i apologized and feel better but...

Are you needlessly dragging around a one-ton bag of guilt and worry? Here are some techniques that help reduce guilt and worry in your life to produce dramatic, immediate changes.
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patrromig
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:00 pm

i apologized and feel better but...

Post by patrromig » Fri Mar 16, 2012 9:46 am

I apologized to my ex for some wrong doings that happened between us andnow i feel better about that. But now my gf is mad at me and i feel guilty that i did this. In fact am worried she might leave me over it. What do i do? I apologized to my gf and explained why i did it but i still feel guilty and worried.

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: i apologized and feel better but...

Post by Iwillbebetter » Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:25 pm

I can understand your guilt, as I'm sure I would feel the same way. I have not gotten to the "stop feeling guilty" session, so I don't know that I have that great of advise, other than to remember you did that for YOURSELF!! You did not do it for your ex or your current. It was something you needed to do for you!! It is so easy to not do the things we want or even need to do for ourselves because we are worried about how someone else might feel about it. You have explained to her why you did it, and really that is all you need to do. Worrying about it is not going to help the situation. I'm sorry I dont have more for you, but I hope you start to let go of the guilt/worry feelings!! :) Best of luck to you!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: i apologized and feel better but...

Post by LyndaLu » Wed May 23, 2012 4:44 pm

patrromig wrote:I apologized to my ex for some wrong doings that happened between us andnow i feel better about that. But now my gf is mad at me and i feel guilty that i did this. In fact am worried she might leave me over it. What do i do? I apologized to my gf and explained why i did it but i still feel guilty and worried.
I know that is one thing that I will not probably do, go back to something from the past and apologize for it. That just
brings up all of the bad things that happened and the bad memories. My family does not talk about the past and it would
not be well received for me to make an apology for something that happened long ago. I dont' like to go back so far and
re-live things. Let's just move on and look toward the future with no regrets from the past ? Some things just cannot
be "fixed" by re-living them and re-experiencing them.
Lynda

peony
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:08 am
Location: Canada

Re: i apologized and feel better but...

Post by peony » Thu May 24, 2012 1:47 am

Hi dear Pat,
I agree with iwillbebetter that the apologising is for us, not them. Remember when Lucinda told how she went back to her ex to apologize and he hadnt changed a bit but that she felt better because she was apologising for her own sake, not for his.

I wonder if your fears that she will leave are just another negative thought. Is it REALLY true that she will leave? Or just your imagination running away. Maybe she is mad. Does this really mean she will leave?

Lucky thing we dont control others. That's THEIR job. Our job is to look after ourselves. Don't allow her to make you feel guilty.

Hope this helps. What a big talker I am. I havent done any major apologies yet... soon.

I admire you to for having the courage to apologise.

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