Neighborly Guilt

Are you needlessly dragging around a one-ton bag of guilt and worry? Here are some techniques that help reduce guilt and worry in your life to produce dramatic, immediate changes.
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lovetheself
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 1:29 am

Neighborly Guilt

Post by lovetheself » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:45 am

I am in an interesting situation and need some advice from this community. I am a newly-wed, one year married and my husband is very sociable, but ironically never developed close male friendships. I am sociable, but a bit more private than he is. I have life long friends and make friends pretty easily. We live in a large condominum and my husband speaks to everyone and is friendly with everyone. He keeps urging me to make female friends in the building, however, we have very close friends who live in the building already and while I am developing a friendship with another, I am not so keen on becoming friends with all of my neighbors. I am always cordial to people, but I don't think we have to become close friends. There is a married couple that lives on our floor who we always say hello to and chat with whenever we see them. My husband apparently wanted me to become friends with the wife beyond just chatting in the elevator, hallways, parking garage, etc. I tried a little but noticed that we weren't exactly compatible so I've pulled back a bit. This evening my husband brought up that I am being "stand-offish" with the couple, even though I still say hello and make small talk. We were never close friends before so I am confused and need some advice. Ever since I've been on the program (I am now on session 11), I have noticed that I am more in tune with myself and pay attention more to things that I enjoy as well as those that I do not. I am also being more assertive and setting more boundaries with people, including my husband. Well, after he said what he said tonight, I started feeling weird, even though I know that I am doing fine in the way I am responding to the couple, still cordial but not willing to go deeper, but we never did before, just chatted a lot more. FYI, my husband and I traveled for work and hadn't seen the couple in about a month until this week. And the woman was being stand-offish with me as well. I guess what I am asking is am I worng? Thank you.

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