I lost it at the Target... can I get it back?

[kaah]

So I just started session 9 and I had a major setback today. Things have been building up over the past week or so.. health issues, financial issues, issues with friends, and then today everything fell apart... at the Target. I thought I was doing really well, that my anxiety was lessening and I was becoming more confident, but now I feel like I'm back to square one. It all happened because of a coupon (which I've been using a lot of because of financial problems). The coupon was for a toy for my son and I'd been saving it for him for a special occasion. Yesterday he pooped in the potty all by himself so I got the coupon out of its special place and told him we were going to go get him a toy. He was very excited, but when we got to the register the coupon didn't work. As it turns out it was my mistake, but I was convinced it was their mistake. I started to get all of those familiar feelings of anxiety, and everything I'd thought I'd learned over the past weeks completely left my mind. I was my old self. After the confrontation I spun into obsessive analytical thinking and beat myself up for making the mistake and losing my composure. i told myself it was OK to make mistakes, I don't have to be perfect. It's "no big deal". I just couldn't make myself believe it. I then told myself to worry about it later.. at 9 o'clock, but I just couldn't stop beating myself up. I tried relaxation and writing and none of it worked. Has anyone else had major setbacks like this? Is it possible to come back?!

[JSherm]

Remember this type of thinking is still a habit. Changing it takes time and patience. That's awesome what you were doing for your kid. As for the coupon, we all make mistakes. Today I did something and maybe it'll help you. I had my worries aside, breathing good, I was using positive self-talk, I thought I was ready for a breakthrough. After about an hour maybe of reassuring myself I was doing fantastic and had no flaws in my method, I started catching myself thinking negatively. Each time I tried using the correct method to get me thinking positively again, id get more and more analytical and anxious. FINALLY I figured it out. I was simply having an anxious episode. No matter what I did, I wasn't getting over it. I realized I must sit through it no matter how long because I couldn't change the symptoms of anxiety in one second. I know I'm changing and learning new things. Once I gave myself a break, you won't believe what happened. I began to laugh. I laughed so hard and it felt so good. I guess I was thinking, " how silly of me!" I gave myself a break and began laughing at every imperfection that was in my head. I'm pretty bad at writing these things but I sure hope you find hope and keep giving it all you got!!