How do you forgive when things havent changed?

Are you needlessly dragging around a one-ton bag of guilt and worry? Here are some techniques that help reduce guilt and worry in your life to produce dramatic, immediate changes.
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atomp
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 7:59 am

Post by atomp » Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:38 am

I feel like session 9 is alot about forgiving people and ourselves for things that have happened to us in the past. I remember hearing in the tape how lucinda forgave her father for his alcoholism and how he never showed her any love. Well my problem is how do you let go and forgive someone when it is still a problem. My mother was an alcholic/drug addict and was always in relationships with abusive men. I feel like I hold on to alot of the anger and feeling like I dont deserve better, and I would like to help myself let go of it all. But my mother still hasnt changed, so it is hard for me to forgive her when she still lives in the same lifestyle. Because of her lifestyle I tend to distance myself from her and probably dont spend as much time with her as I would like, and then I feel guilty and she also makes me feel like I am a bad person because I dont spend time with her. I am just am not quite sure how I handle this, I love her but while she is still in the same negative lifestyle I dont feel like I can be involved in her life. I have a great boyfriend and his family is wonderful and I love being with them, but it also brings up anxiety because I feel the guilt of not spending time with my mother. Even though I love my mom, I dont enjoy spending time with her when her lifestyle is not healthy and I am putting myself in a unhealthy situation .Confused??

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:37 pm

It's understandable that you feel guilty about your mom. No matter what, she is still your mom but you have to think about yourself. You know we can't change other people no matter who they are but we can change how we react to them. You're doing everything right. It's not your fault and the only person you should forgive is yourself. :)

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:04 pm

I have not released emotions that have been eating away at me for some time about my brother and sister. I am the youngest of the 3. I have found that they dont accept me into their click because I am still (In their feeble minds) younger. they have disrespected me and being I have told them upfront about my feelings, there has been no "Im sorry for hurting you" You expect this from your loved ones....but in the Expectation tape this is my problem......I expect them to act the way I want them to. However....I expect them to act appropriately and civilly as my siblings and compassionate human beings also. So I rest my case.

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