Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:38 am
I feel like session 9 is alot about forgiving people and ourselves for things that have happened to us in the past. I remember hearing in the tape how lucinda forgave her father for his alcoholism and how he never showed her any love. Well my problem is how do you let go and forgive someone when it is still a problem. My mother was an alcholic/drug addict and was always in relationships with abusive men. I feel like I hold on to alot of the anger and feeling like I dont deserve better, and I would like to help myself let go of it all. But my mother still hasnt changed, so it is hard for me to forgive her when she still lives in the same lifestyle. Because of her lifestyle I tend to distance myself from her and probably dont spend as much time with her as I would like, and then I feel guilty and she also makes me feel like I am a bad person because I dont spend time with her. I am just am not quite sure how I handle this, I love her but while she is still in the same negative lifestyle I dont feel like I can be involved in her life. I have a great boyfriend and his family is wonderful and I love being with them, but it also brings up anxiety because I feel the guilt of not spending time with my mother. Even though I love my mom, I dont enjoy spending time with her when her lifestyle is not healthy and I am putting myself in a unhealthy situation .Confused??