Guilt about Donation
I don't know if any of you watch American Idol, but they had a special called Idol gives back. You can donate to help less fortunate people. It really broke my heart when I saw the conditions people lived in. Part of me wants to donate but also, i feel like it's a 'should'. im getting anxious just by thinking of putting my personal information in to do it. Part of me wants to donate but part of me doesnt, and that makes me feel like im a bad person, even when i know im far from that. any advice?
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Guest
There are many wonderful causes out there, Noelle. It's impossible to donate to them all. Pick the one or ones that you would like to donate to and then stick to those. When others come along and guilt sets in just remind yourself that you have your causes and that will have to be enough.
Also, I am sure you have seen other programs or adds either on tv or in magazines that reflect the disasters and tragedies in life that can happen and do occur. For some reason your obsessive mind picked up on this one in particular. (Only because that is the nature of the obsessive mind.) Breathe into it. Always use your breath to relax and calm you. Remind yourself that it's just your ocd and you do not have to contribute to everything that you read, see or hear about.
Remind yourself: "I'm still a good person even if I don't donate to any cause."
Eventually the feelings will subside. Remember to nuture yourself. Don't judge.
Also, I am sure you have seen other programs or adds either on tv or in magazines that reflect the disasters and tragedies in life that can happen and do occur. For some reason your obsessive mind picked up on this one in particular. (Only because that is the nature of the obsessive mind.) Breathe into it. Always use your breath to relax and calm you. Remind yourself that it's just your ocd and you do not have to contribute to everything that you read, see or hear about.
Remind yourself: "I'm still a good person even if I don't donate to any cause."
Eventually the feelings will subside. Remember to nuture yourself. Don't judge.
Noelle -
I watched that too. This is going to sounds cold, and I don't mean it to because I was very touched by that show as well, but people go to school to learn how to market and sell product. And the product that they were selling was a good cause, no doubt...but the pay-out was sympathy and donations. What I'm saying is - you did exactly what they wanted you to do...feel sympathy for the less fortunate.
That is NOT a bad thing. That you feel sympathy is wonderful - it shows what a caring and compassionate, empathetic and sympathetic person you are! Someone said on one of the sessions in this program that you should do (or insert "give" here) because you want to - not because you feel like you should.
I mean - imagine that you were sick and your neighbor/husband/boyfriend/friend/mother/whomever came to bring you dinner. Would you want them to come with an attitude of "I should do this...everyone else does things like this...I'm supposed to do this..." or just because they wanted to? Your place would be happier with the second one.
If you feel really bad still, look up in your yellow pages for a women's shelter, or a Veteran's center, or a homeless shelter...or any church or charitable organization near you and donate something there. Often it isn't so much money that they need...some need clothes...or food...or give of your time!
Giving to others can make us feel so good! You sounds like such a kind-hearted person, so I know that you'd be such a blessing to others as well!
Blessings,
Dawn
I watched that too. This is going to sounds cold, and I don't mean it to because I was very touched by that show as well, but people go to school to learn how to market and sell product. And the product that they were selling was a good cause, no doubt...but the pay-out was sympathy and donations. What I'm saying is - you did exactly what they wanted you to do...feel sympathy for the less fortunate.
That is NOT a bad thing. That you feel sympathy is wonderful - it shows what a caring and compassionate, empathetic and sympathetic person you are! Someone said on one of the sessions in this program that you should do (or insert "give" here) because you want to - not because you feel like you should.
I mean - imagine that you were sick and your neighbor/husband/boyfriend/friend/mother/whomever came to bring you dinner. Would you want them to come with an attitude of "I should do this...everyone else does things like this...I'm supposed to do this..." or just because they wanted to? Your place would be happier with the second one.
If you feel really bad still, look up in your yellow pages for a women's shelter, or a Veteran's center, or a homeless shelter...or any church or charitable organization near you and donate something there. Often it isn't so much money that they need...some need clothes...or food...or give of your time!
Giving to others can make us feel so good! You sounds like such a kind-hearted person, so I know that you'd be such a blessing to others as well!
Blessings,
Dawn
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Guest
Boon and Dawn,
Thank you for such the kind words. I think I knew what both of you were saying, but I just needed that boost of confidence. I always wanted to help out at the soup kitchen or some volunteering center, so maybe I can do that. It definitely does make you feel good when you forget about yourself for a while, and take the time to help others who really need it.
Thank you for such the kind words. I think I knew what both of you were saying, but I just needed that boost of confidence. I always wanted to help out at the soup kitchen or some volunteering center, so maybe I can do that. It definitely does make you feel good when you forget about yourself for a while, and take the time to help others who really need it.
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Guest
I think you have such a kind heart to want to donate, but I will agree there was a lot of pressure in those ads. The others are right in saying you may be more comfortable helping at home whether it be time, talents, old clothes, money- whatever you can give. It will some back to you ten fold in some way. I truly believe when you give, what you have left is blessed to last longer, go further, stretch out- you name it. Not to mention th feel-good feeling you get when you give from the heart.
You might even have a less fortunate relative or neighbor child who could use a new outfit or a trip to the movies or park or lunch at McDonald's. And little things can go a long way like paying someone's toll fare behind you or feeding a run out parking meter.
Hope thi helps. You sound like a really compassionate person.
You might even have a less fortunate relative or neighbor child who could use a new outfit or a trip to the movies or park or lunch at McDonald's. And little things can go a long way like paying someone's toll fare behind you or feeding a run out parking meter.
Hope thi helps. You sound like a really compassionate person.
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Guest
Noelle,
I too want to donate to soooo many causes, but my wallet like most of us has a limit
.
What I have tried to do is keep my money local. I donate to the church I attend, I buy groceries for our local food pantry and animal shelter, I donate (as well as organize the efforts and collection) to fellow students at my college when they have a crisis. Last year a very young single mom with 3 kids home burned, and they lost everything. I started a departmental collection as well as efforts with student life to obtain donations through the community.
My heart calls to helps those near me. I guess I just go by the "help your neighbors in your own backyard before you help others" mentality. I know there are people in our community that have no medical, dental, lack of money, groceries, lost jobs, their home so I try to help in my own community. I also know that I cannot "save the world" but I can help when my time and budget permits. If my budget is tight I help with my time more. If I am tight on budget and time I still try to do what I can knowing even a "little" helps someone. A "little" is better than nothing.
We also have started to be a foster home for neglected, abused schnauzers through a local rescue. Just knowing we took a dog whos life was "worthless" to someone else and gave that dog a voice, a second chance at life is really SOMETHING HUGE 
. I have seen my sister foster dogs and to see the happiness, the smiles and wagging tail...to see that dog go from deaths door due to neglect/ignorance or at a shelter that is overcrowded the shelter needs to make a "decision", to that dog being placed with a LOVING home that WANTS them is truly priceless!
Just be comfortable with WHAT you can do/afford.
KNow that doing SOMETHING IS making a difference!
I too want to donate to soooo many causes, but my wallet like most of us has a limit
. What I have tried to do is keep my money local. I donate to the church I attend, I buy groceries for our local food pantry and animal shelter, I donate (as well as organize the efforts and collection) to fellow students at my college when they have a crisis. Last year a very young single mom with 3 kids home burned, and they lost everything. I started a departmental collection as well as efforts with student life to obtain donations through the community.
My heart calls to helps those near me. I guess I just go by the "help your neighbors in your own backyard before you help others" mentality. I know there are people in our community that have no medical, dental, lack of money, groceries, lost jobs, their home so I try to help in my own community. I also know that I cannot "save the world" but I can help when my time and budget permits. If my budget is tight I help with my time more. If I am tight on budget and time I still try to do what I can knowing even a "little" helps someone. A "little" is better than nothing.
We also have started to be a foster home for neglected, abused schnauzers through a local rescue. Just knowing we took a dog whos life was "worthless"
to someone else and gave that dog a voice, a second chance at life is really SOMETHING HUGE . I have seen my sister foster dogs and to see the happiness, the smiles and wagging tail...to see that dog go from deaths door due to neglect/ignorance or at a shelter that is overcrowded the shelter needs to make a "decision", to that dog being placed with a LOVING home that WANTS them is truly priceless! Just be comfortable with WHAT you can do/afford.
KNow that doing SOMETHING IS making a difference!
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Guest
Im the same way....I would take in every orphaned child and every homeless pet if I could. But I cant. So I tell myself Good job for having the kids and pets I do and taking care of them best I can. I give when I can and I feel good about helping and I tell myself that if everyone gave a little someway the way I do and many others it will and does make a difference.
Even if I couldnt donate any money to the cause for idol I can make sure that Im kind to people in need around me. An act of kindness no matter how small inspires that person to do so as well...so next time you see an elderly person at the grocery alone dont ask to help her say Let me help you and do so.....next time you see a child crying say its going to be ok.....and help.
Generousity is not always measured in dollars and cents.
You all sound like very caring people dont feel sad for what you cant do be proud of what you do do to make that difference.
Dodger
Even if I couldnt donate any money to the cause for idol I can make sure that Im kind to people in need around me. An act of kindness no matter how small inspires that person to do so as well...so next time you see an elderly person at the grocery alone dont ask to help her say Let me help you and do so.....next time you see a child crying say its going to be ok.....and help.
Generousity is not always measured in dollars and cents.
You all sound like very caring people dont feel sad for what you cant do be proud of what you do do to make that difference.
Dodger
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Guest
Noelle,
enabling another's dependance is a bad thing, no matter how well-intentioned.
If you're talking about the segment about black African's, let me just say that they'll never get out of the hole that they're in if they don't do it themselves. I think that's simply how they are.
The good intentioned help the world has given them so far very possibly may have been a detriment for them by allowing a population explosion that has lead to their current state of living!
Don't feel guilty. Take if off your shoulders, it's not your fault.
Feel guilty if you hurt someone else, not for a reason that has nothing to do with you.
enabling another's dependance is a bad thing, no matter how well-intentioned.
If you're talking about the segment about black African's, let me just say that they'll never get out of the hole that they're in if they don't do it themselves. I think that's simply how they are.
The good intentioned help the world has given them so far very possibly may have been a detriment for them by allowing a population explosion that has lead to their current state of living!
Don't feel guilty. Take if off your shoulders, it's not your fault.
Feel guilty if you hurt someone else, not for a reason that has nothing to do with you.
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Guest
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Guest
minnchad,
whatyou said was not fair to the anyone that you spoke about. there are people of every color that are poor. so do not take it for granted that its only blacks that are poor..i think that you owe an apology to the people that you might have offended and know that some have tried to come out of the ditch but its people like you that keep kicking them back in..i hope that this helps you know how others feel..
in fact there was people on there singing a christain song and right after a comedian that was cursing..but they are above all this because they are famous.take care and be blessed.
don
its not the color of a mans skin but what inside his heart. that is why i prayed that GOD would help us find a church that was like that and he did.i hope that you are in the program and it helps you.thanks.
whatyou said was not fair to the anyone that you spoke about. there are people of every color that are poor. so do not take it for granted that its only blacks that are poor..i think that you owe an apology to the people that you might have offended and know that some have tried to come out of the ditch but its people like you that keep kicking them back in..i hope that this helps you know how others feel..
in fact there was people on there singing a christain song and right after a comedian that was cursing..but they are above all this because they are famous.take care and be blessed.
don
its not the color of a mans skin but what inside his heart. that is why i prayed that GOD would help us find a church that was like that and he did.i hope that you are in the program and it helps you.thanks.