Gulity over blowing up
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good82life
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:34 am
I feel bad because today I blew up at my 4 year old son. I was at the libery we were leaving and he didnt want to get inside the car I had resentmnt for him until we got home and then blew up at him. I never get mad like that. I scard I am going to do it again. I feel really bad about it. Any suggestions
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Guest
Hi GoodLife:
I also struggle with blowups! I have been slowly getting better but experienced another fit yesterday at my spouse.
I would suggest reviewing the session on positive self talk (3), expectations(4) and the session on anger. These three fit together perfectly and are related to what you are feeling.
I have also been reading from Panic to Power and it is an incredible supplement to the program! talks a lot about guilt which I suffer from and is a root for me for all of this..
I would suggest first forgiving yourself. Start to think before you react and ask yourself, "is this really worth getting upset about?" if it is then trust your instincts and dont feel guilty. If it isnt and you know this but feel outraged start the self talk, "I understand why I feel this way" "what is really bothering me?" "what thought made me feel this way" as it was obviously something else bugging you and thoughts always create a reaction.
The forgive yourself and your son, apologize to him and tell him you were wrong but was upset and then tell him what he did and how he can change next time, I know he's only 4 but it is important to explain the best you can so he doesnt start having anxiety too.
Again, try and read the book if you can and use those sessions. Two steps forward, one step back. Keep working hard and DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP! you are humam, we make errors and we fix them, dont look at anything as a problem but as a solution. Give yourself credit for the small things and make sure to have compassion for yourself.. you work hard on you, you work hard for your family, you go to work, and you keep everything together.. way to go!
Small steps to big miles, you learned something so time to forgive, forget and try and manage it better next time!
Good luck and best wishes!
I also struggle with blowups! I have been slowly getting better but experienced another fit yesterday at my spouse.
I would suggest reviewing the session on positive self talk (3), expectations(4) and the session on anger. These three fit together perfectly and are related to what you are feeling.
I have also been reading from Panic to Power and it is an incredible supplement to the program! talks a lot about guilt which I suffer from and is a root for me for all of this..
I would suggest first forgiving yourself. Start to think before you react and ask yourself, "is this really worth getting upset about?" if it is then trust your instincts and dont feel guilty. If it isnt and you know this but feel outraged start the self talk, "I understand why I feel this way" "what is really bothering me?" "what thought made me feel this way" as it was obviously something else bugging you and thoughts always create a reaction.
The forgive yourself and your son, apologize to him and tell him you were wrong but was upset and then tell him what he did and how he can change next time, I know he's only 4 but it is important to explain the best you can so he doesnt start having anxiety too.
Again, try and read the book if you can and use those sessions. Two steps forward, one step back. Keep working hard and DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP! you are humam, we make errors and we fix them, dont look at anything as a problem but as a solution. Give yourself credit for the small things and make sure to have compassion for yourself.. you work hard on you, you work hard for your family, you go to work, and you keep everything together.. way to go!
Small steps to big miles, you learned something so time to forgive, forget and try and manage it better next time!
Good luck and best wishes!
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Guest
I am finding that guilt in general is one of my biggest blocks. It's almost like fear, when I don't feel it I feel a loss. That may sound crazy but I have had guilt and fear for so long in my life that there's a part of me that's threatened to live without it.
My goal is to recognize this and allow it to leave. I am a nurse and I took care of a two year old that had been severely abused. When his mother (the abuser) came in to visit he crawled to the side of the crib to get closer to her. I remember thinking "How could he have that attachment?"
I feel the same way about my fear and guilt it's all I've ever known. This little boy only knew that mother so naturally he had no idea that there was more to life! The mother got help and saw the gift in her son and was able to keep him!
I pray that I can let go of this fear and guilt and be fully alive again!
My goal is to recognize this and allow it to leave. I am a nurse and I took care of a two year old that had been severely abused. When his mother (the abuser) came in to visit he crawled to the side of the crib to get closer to her. I remember thinking "How could he have that attachment?"
I feel the same way about my fear and guilt it's all I've ever known. This little boy only knew that mother so naturally he had no idea that there was more to life! The mother got help and saw the gift in her son and was able to keep him!
I pray that I can let go of this fear and guilt and be fully alive again!
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Guest
