Social anxiety anyone?

Moontale · Post by **Moontale** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:09 pm

My God, I am having the hardest time now in my job, I mean I definitely took a big step facing my fears coming back to a job I was very tissed before deciding I will make people respect me now and I did a great job at the beginning. I stood up and people back off on me but I had to do it in an agressive way. Them they kind starter again I wasn't able to stop it and now spreadtrough the whole group of coworkers. Of course now they don't want to stop it now because they saw they could get away with it. Now I feel like a lost my ground and I am losing my self-esteem..Is very painful and it feels horrible. I know I have to stand even stronger now and I don't know how to do it because the agressive way is not working anymore....... I thought about start fighting in their own language but I am afraid is going to make it even worse...What do I do? the social anxiety is killing me, I am even dizzy and space out and I have to go everyday to work.....How can I stand that? Help!

Tigerlady · Post by **Tigerlady** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:10 am

Hi Moon,

This is a very tough situation and one that I had been in countlessly---because I lacked the knowledge and skills that I've learned through this program, I quit many a good job, good in the sense that I was making alot of money and had good benefits, but I have found that is not everything--you have to be happy in what you do--I had such low self esteem that I thought I did not fit in with others, and therefore, became a target--always the females, NEVER the males, go figure!! My faith in God is very strong and your strength has to come from within--you have to learn to love yourself and develop a hard shell and just ignore those people who are giving you grief--that is what I did at the last job prior to finding an ideal job situation that I have been in close to 2 years now! I worked with women who were very insecure and probably had low self-esteem themselves, I just wish I could have broached the subject with them to get to root of problem--but the main thing is to take care of YOU, something I never knew how to do--this program is wonderful in that you really learn about yourself--I can now take charge of social situations (was forced to because of my new job position)and acutally counsel many of the clients here--people cannot believe that I have ever had low self-esteem or anxiety issues. You'll have to assess your job situation to figure out if it is worth staying (if you don't have to)and take it from there--pick your battles as they say--some places and people are beyond transformation so you don't want them to pull you down with them. I hope this helps, as I know how miserable that situation is to have to work under those conditions.

Blessings,

Cynthia

Moontale · Post by **Moontale** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:09 pm

Hi Cinthia thank you for your support, today I decided to go to my job , be a bratt and answer in their own language and it worked. I got a better response, I just have to keep being like that everyday.......I am going to make a compromise to myself to don't let people get me mad and be assertive everytime.......This is my dream job so I have to be focus and let them challenge me until they drain out of challenges!! I swear, I may cry to you guys once in a while but I am going to make it!
Blessings to you!

Tigerlady · Post by **Tigerlady** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:32 am

Well good for you!! I was going to say in previous post not to stoop to their level, but hey you know you are better than they are and if it works and doesn't cause you too much stress, then I guess that is ok!! If you love your job then it is worth fighting for and when you fight the good fight, you will prevail!!! Who knows, your co-workers may turn around yet!
I wish you the best!!

Cynthia

Moontale · Post by **Moontale** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:41 pm

Yeah, it worked ...but definitely in their level. So I started being serious and told them was enough...They understood.....Is working better now,I just have to be on my toes!..

THANKS!!!

AbundantLiving · Post by **AbundantLiving** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:43 pm

I too am going through a similar situation at my current job. But I thank God that I just had my second interview and I think I got it! I work in an open space environment (bullpen) and I'll never do it again. I've come to find out that I need privacy at work in order to do what I do. I bet the guy that invented cubicles got a lot of rocks thrown at his grave LOL! Hang in there Moontale and keep being assertive and confident. I don't know if you do this or not but you should try praying, it always helps me... or reading the bible online. Always brings things back into perspective.

MsPurple · Post by **MsPurple** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 8:32 pm

I'd love to hear your whole poem. I'm up late tonight with no one to talk to and I'm feeling lonely and friend-less. I write poems too. No one really cares though. My fiance's not into poetry and like I said I'm kinda friend-less right now.

I've written one about anxiety, but maybe only other anxious people can understand it! (I don't think it's good, but I just feel like sharing.)

Compulsions

Well, I f***ed up again.

It's not who I want to be,
But it's who I've always been.

My Mom says she's proud,
But I don't think I'm allowed
To take one single breath,
Or the result would be death.

The right to relax has to be earned,
But, for the scorecard, I do still yern.

No good deed is ever enough.
I have to do more and be
Tough! Tough! Tough!

AbundantLiving · Post by **AbundantLiving** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:13 am

Hi MsPurple, I'll send you the entire poem in a private message. My mom once told me that if you can leave this world with ONE friend, you've experienced a miracle. Don't feel alone because true friends are very hard to come by. Do you know what the biblical definition of a friend is? Ultimately someone who will lay down their life for you. Jesus laid down His life for us and if you haven't yet, please accept His friendship. I did back in 2001 and I still wonder till this day how I made it so long without Him. Besides God, my mom is my only other true friend. I've learned that in life, you'll have many associates but very few friends. So don't feel alone. I feel your pain in your poem and I empathize with you. Please read John ch. 14:1-6;27 and John ch. 15:13.

AMANDAJ · Post by **AMANDAJ** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:14 am

I am trying to not be so hard on myself. Both of those poems are good. I struggle with social anxiety since if I can't please people I get anxiety attacks and beat myself up for it. I have been told to do your best and appreciate it. I can choose to help people meet their needs but not worry meeting their wants. I struggle really hard with this with everyone I know which leads to be having many nervous breakdowns since it is more than anyone should bear. I have an non-understanding support system since they don't understand the seriousness of my anxiety/ depression.They think I can just stop worrying and be fine.

AmandaJ

Moontale · Post by **Moontale** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:30 pm

Thank you for all your comments!!!! I appreciate it....I started reading a book call dying of embarassment and I can't believe how good explains the social anxiety.......is practically a whole different anxiety from of what we all have here........Thanks!!