Stress Center Peer Support

I am driving myself nuts over feeling guilty over not spending enough time with my friends. I play this false busy thing and people don't think I have time for them. I need to get into action about telling the how I am on to myself and redirect it.
Another thing, I have been totally checked out lately. Foggy and unfocused. I am not sure what is causing this. I know it is some emotion that I am not willing to look at... I should be on the look out for it.
I am doing the program about 50% or less of the way and I think I could use a kick in the butt or maybe just a pat...

Hi Breethe,

First off I think you should write down "SO WHAT?" on some post its and put them around the house. Take some pressure off yourself! you are fueling that negative cycle and feelings doing this, "dont should all over yourslef and dont let other people should all over you either" .

So what you are taking care of yourself? have faith in yourself. Take your time. STOP beating yourself up.. really just start trying to stop them.. small steps to large miles!

Have some compassion for yourself, picture what you would say to a friend and feel those things.. look at yourself as two people. Your expectations seem to high! let go! just float!

Keep working the program and give yourself credit for the small stuff! you deserve to relax and have off time! just work on blowing the good things out of proportion!

Lucinda's book from Panic to Power is a great resource! lots of talk about guilt.. and the guilt you feel is probably because YOU are making yourself feel guilty- why? forgive yourself and trust yourself..

Trust that everything will fall into place and you are working on your recovery! that is great!

Keep a journal and also a gratitude journal- make regular entries and you'll probably see a pattern!

Keep me posted and good luck on your journey!

Small steps to large miles!

So What sounds like a great place to be.

I realized I was not taking care of myself and my basic care. My alone time. Running away from my own thoughts by keeping over-booked.

I appreciate your writing and I have taken your suggestions and put the post-its up. I have gotten real serious lately. And noticed I have put a lot of pressure on myself to do this year like no other year. I think the greatest gift to myself would be to relax more than any other year and have more pleasure than any other year.

Thank you again,

Breethe

<span class="ev_code_RED">MAEGGIE: great posting & fantastic pos words!</span>

Dear Mark:

You are doing something right now, that many of us w/ anxiety disorder can definitely relate to: FOR THE 1ST TIME IN YOUR LIFE - YOU ARE PUTTING YOU 1ST & TAKING CARE OF YOU & TAKING NECESSARY STEPS TO RECOVER FR ANXIETY DISORDER <span class="ev_code_RED">&, it doesn't feel right to you, some guilt mixed in there - along w/ uncomfortablness, right?</span> Mark, I - being 1 of many who has recovered - am here to tell ya(cause I went thru the same EXACT THING) - YOU ARE BEING HARD ON YOURSELF - no need to feel guilty. We are so used to putting others & their needs & desires 1st most of our lives, forsaking ourselves - to the point that when we take THIS JOURNEY TO RECOVERY(requiring us to finally put ourselves 1st) - it feels wrong. IT ISN'T WRONG - its wonderful & necessary. You are taking care of you & your needs.

Continue doing the program, 1 day @ a time, NO PRESSURE: remember, this is a JOURNEY, not a MARATHON. During the process, remind yourself of all the positive things you are doing + how wonderful you really are: make post-it notes like MAEGGIE said & post them around the house -
YOU ARE ALL THOSE GREAT THINGS & MORE - YOU ARE WORTH IT: pos self talk is an invaluable tool Mark - for me, symbollically speaking: it was like a blind man given sight again - experiencing life in a way I never have. Take time to relax - YOU TIME: exercising, a ball game, fixing up your car, going to your fave place to eat, golf, sitting in your back yard w/ a cup of lemonade & allowing the sun to hit your face, a funny movie: laughter is FOOD FOR THE SOUL(think of it as recovery medicine, lol):REMEMBER, RIGHT NOW IS ALL ABOUT YOU. Don't stress yourself out w/ making times w/ friends, etc. Things will balance themselves out, trust me. You are learning new skills & during the coarse of such - you will also learn to balance life + family + friends VS WHAT MARK NEEDS. See, for the 1st time, MARK'S NEEDS ARE NOW part of the EQUATION.

Mark - finally, pat yourself on the back - be proud of yourself - you are doing the program, on the journey to recovery - YOU ARE DOING IT - that is so courageous. The SUM TOTAL of recovery is not any 1 particular thing - rather, as mentioned - the SUM TOTAL of numerous things: praise yourself for all those thing, yes the little ones/accomplishments - for it is them, in their totality - that = recovery. GOD BLESS!

LENORE

Mark, say this to yourself everyday :

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