Hi,
I promise I'm not trying to attack anyone for having the perception that "God never gives us more than we can handle." I am about to get on my soap box with this, but I promise that I really want to have a healthy discussion about this phrase that is commonly used by Christians. For the original poster, please do not feel attacked by me in any way. You just came on here for comfort and support, and you admitted that you just feel overwhelmed and are doing your best to deal with your pain and keep you faith:). Please don't feel like I am attacking you in any way.
However, I just want to give my perception of why this belief system can be harmful for Christians, etc. This is just my opinion as a Christian. Also, before I get onto my soap box with this, I want to ask those of you who do have this belief system why it comforts you to think that God never gives you more than you can handle? I don't mean that in a sarcastic manner, but I am sincerely trying to understand. I am a Christian, and this belief system sends up all kind of alarm bells within me so I am trying to understand why it is comforting to certain people, honestly and truly:).
First of all, I believe this belief system comes from the scripture,1 Corinthians 10:12,13
"Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."(NIV)
My interpretation of the above scripture is that in our human existence, we are constantly presented with a choice of sinning or not sinning. We face constant temptations to sin, and our loving God is reminding us that every time we face a temptation, He gives us a way out. In addition, He reminds us that we will face no temptation that other humans haven't faced before and been given the opportunity not to sin. It is clearer in the NIV version that we should never get haughty and think that we have our acts together because then we would think that we had the power to overcome temptation in our own human strength. The strength to choose the right path among temptation to sin comes from God.
So, from my studies of this scripture, "temptation" does not refer to calamities and hardships that come from God that we are meant to "bear". The human existence is such that we face temptations because of original sin, and God never tempts people to sin, but offers us a way out of sin.
The second issue that I have with this belief system is that it assumes that all hardships that we face in life come directly from God. There are many reasons why human beings go through hardships, and in my personal opinion, God's not usually behind it. Yes, He's all sovereign, but He gives us free will. Sin exists in this world, and sometimes we suffer because of our own sin or other people's sin, it is an imperfect world. When Jesus walked this earth, a lot of people kept questioning why people faced hardships, and basically he said we live in a fallen world and to stop trying to blame it on a specific source other than that. When everyone was asking him about a person that was disabled, they were sure that it was because of the parents' sin, and he said, "it's no one's fault", and that God would use the person for "His Glory." That's what God offers all of us who are suffering. We had a friend die from cancer last month. She was a great person, who had strong faith. I'm not going to use my human mind to try to figure out why she wasn't healed. I'm not going to assume that God is the reason she died either, but He did take her lovingly in His arms in the end. I can promise you that she and her family were given more than they could handle, and they had to turn to God for His strength to even cope. They had a lot of bad days, and are still having bad days as they grieve the loss of their wonderful family member.
That's the other issue I have. When we say, "God never gives us more than we can handle" it's almost like saying that when we face a tragedy or loss and feel grief, that we are somehow sinning, and that we should rely on our own strength to get through the suffering. One day, I was having a conversation with someone about this, and in my heart, I feel that God pointed me toward the following scripture. II Corinthians 1:8-10, "We do not want you to be
uninformed, brothers, about the hardships (thilipsis) we suffered in the
province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to
endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the
sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but
on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril,
and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to
deliver us, as you help us with your prayers."
To me, that scripture sums it up. All of us face suffering at some time in our lives. Some of us face great tragedies, and we can't bear them in our human strength. Therefore, our loving God gives us His strength to face the insurmountable. It also doesn't mean that we aren't going to feel pain. Scripture says that when we are Christians, we are still to grieve, but not as those who have no hope. That hope is both for this lifetime and for the next. However, it's healthy to grieve and admit the truth of our pain. I do not believe that those tragedies come directly from a loving God. However, I do believe in the promise, "All things work together for good, to those who love Christ Jesus." This scripture doesn't say that all things are good. It isn't good that my son has an incurable brain disorder. I don't believe that God gave my son severe autism. At my worst, I can promise you that I couldn't handle watching my son lose the ability to speak and have pretend play, and I went through so much suffering and a number of other disasters at the same time, that it literally almost killed me. I can't handle it on my best days. I will never say that I haven't been given more than I can handle in life, because that would be a lie. However, because of merciful and loving God, I am able to see God use these calamities for good even though He wasn't the one responsible for them. That's a nice insurance policy:).
I also found this website in looking up scripture references that I think is good and explains the matter more in depth.
http://groups.google.com/group...ead/1024e2225dd77bff
Take care,
luvpiggy
