I need some serious prayers right now.
I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 10, and I've been doing great personally, but things in my life have gotten a little complicated recently. I apologize in advance if this is long, but I have to explain a lot.
My grandmother on my Dad's side is a toxic person who has emotionally abused her children (and their spouses), her grandchildren, and many more. An uncle on the same side of the family is highly unstable...I believe he's involved with drugs, and he has made violent threats against my Dad and the rest of my family. I also have a cousin on that side who has done time in jail for drugs, and has a kid with her drug-convict boyfriend.
My immediate family has had an on-again off-again relationship with Dad's side. I decided about 1 1/2 years ago that I wanted off the rollercoaster, permanently. I had enough of being scared and being mistreated by my own relatives. In that time, I have given birth to a baby boy who is now 8 months old and they have never met him. Although I feel to a certain extent that I should let them see my baby, I have no personal reasons for wanting to do so. They have contributed nothing positive to my life, and I feel at peace without their involvement.
I am the only person in my family who feels this way, or at least has the resolve to stick with a decision. My Dad sprung a plan on me yesterday; my grandfather's 85th birthday is coming up, and he wanted to host a birthday party for him. My Dad told me to "keep Saturday open", knowing full well my feelings, and that I haven't had any contact with my relatives. Although I offered to "suck it up" if I had to, I ended up bursting into tears in front of my parents. I know my Dad's just trying to do the right thing (especially given how old his father is), and I felt terrible. The last time I saw my grandmother, she gave me the silent treatment, and did not react when I gave her a kiss on the cheek (something she demands as soon as her grandchildren see her). I just could not bear the thought of how I would be treated upon seeing them again, especially given the current circumstances.
Now, after all that, I received a phone call just now informing me that my grandfather has had a heart attack and is in the hospital. He apparently is going to be ok, but given the timing of this, I can't help but feel like somehow it's my fault, you know? I was aware of the possibilities if I cut off my relatives, but this is right on the heels of reliving every thought I've ever had about them due to the party plans, and I'm just so confused right now. I was so upset yesterday. I feel like God's trying to punish me or teach me a lesson or something. I wish I could have a normal family.
If you could, please keep my grandfather and me in your prayers. I honestly don't know what to do.
Problems with relatives - need prayers desperately
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Guest
Hi Cari,
I really feel for you and for what you have had to go through. From where I am sitting, you did the best thing for now. You created space, and are managing to do for yourself.
You need to lose that ticket of guilt that you accepted and say no thanks, I can do without it; thank you very much. It looks like your Dad and you have a fair understanding, and that is a good start.
As you relate the story, I get the sense of some huge inner strength that is in you, and that is remarkable given the abuse you were exposed to. Without knowing your background, I would, if you don't mind, like for you to listen to the words to these songs but pay particular attention to "While it's still called today".
[url=http://%5Dhttp://www.stevencurtischapman.com/radio/thegreatadventure.htm]Here is the link:[/url]
I think, that for your grandfather's sake, you should try to be there for him, to give him some encouragement, and let him know that you love him.
As difficult as things may seem, you know that they can always be worse. In any case, you are not responsible for anything going on with anybody, but yourself. So free yourself of that guilt.
Up to this point, you have demonstrated that you can, and have done very well for yourself and you should know that God is watching over all, and caring for and protecting you and that little one you love so much.
I don't know if you have read any of my recent postings, but on one thread, there was a link provided by Ms T Bones and here it is:
http://jmm63026.edgeboss.net/d...ary/010909_video.mp4
She has a story that is very similar to yours, and although she doesn't go into great detail about her past, it is clear she was exposed to a lot of abuse. That is exactly how to look at this, it is your past. It is water over the dam. You have to live the moment that God has given you and move forward.
I will pray for you, your baby and for healing in your family. You should, if you haven't already, also pray and once you do, leave it with God. Remain silent, and listen for that still, small voice, because He has the answer for you. He is more than able to carry all your pain, all of your burden, and lead you beside the still waters, where you will find refreshment and renewal.
I am not usually up at this hour, but this is the way God has lead my day, and I saw your post and felt moved to say a little something to help you.
Heavenly Father, Abba God, Daddy God, incline your ear and hear and answer your humble servants prayers:
Lord, I lift up this one little girl, baby, and indeed her whole family to you. Lord you know them because you made everyone of them and thus, I pray that Your will be done, in all the matters concerning this child, her grand father, and that her family be blessed with Your Spirit of reconciliation.
Lord, I pray that You shower your little Girl known here as, Cariadlawn, with as much of Your abundant wealth, wisdom, love, grace, peace and security as she can stand or is able to bear according to Your riches in heaven.
I pray that these prayers be found acceptable to you, and be as a sweet fragrance and aroma that is pleasing to you Heavenly Father.
I pray all these things, In Your Son's Yeshua/Jesus' name for His Praise and for His Glory! Amen
Cari, please get a good night's sleep, and tomorrow when you rise, thank Him for watching over you and your baby, and give Him Praise for the new day that He has made, so that you be glad and rejoicing in it, for we serve a mighty God that is able to all things.
I really feel for you and for what you have had to go through. From where I am sitting, you did the best thing for now. You created space, and are managing to do for yourself.
You need to lose that ticket of guilt that you accepted and say no thanks, I can do without it; thank you very much. It looks like your Dad and you have a fair understanding, and that is a good start.
As you relate the story, I get the sense of some huge inner strength that is in you, and that is remarkable given the abuse you were exposed to. Without knowing your background, I would, if you don't mind, like for you to listen to the words to these songs but pay particular attention to "While it's still called today".
[url=http://%5Dhttp://www.stevencurtischapman.com/radio/thegreatadventure.htm]Here is the link:[/url]
I think, that for your grandfather's sake, you should try to be there for him, to give him some encouragement, and let him know that you love him.
As difficult as things may seem, you know that they can always be worse. In any case, you are not responsible for anything going on with anybody, but yourself. So free yourself of that guilt.
Up to this point, you have demonstrated that you can, and have done very well for yourself and you should know that God is watching over all, and caring for and protecting you and that little one you love so much.
I don't know if you have read any of my recent postings, but on one thread, there was a link provided by Ms T Bones and here it is:
http://jmm63026.edgeboss.net/d...ary/010909_video.mp4
She has a story that is very similar to yours, and although she doesn't go into great detail about her past, it is clear she was exposed to a lot of abuse. That is exactly how to look at this, it is your past. It is water over the dam. You have to live the moment that God has given you and move forward.
I will pray for you, your baby and for healing in your family. You should, if you haven't already, also pray and once you do, leave it with God. Remain silent, and listen for that still, small voice, because He has the answer for you. He is more than able to carry all your pain, all of your burden, and lead you beside the still waters, where you will find refreshment and renewal.
I am not usually up at this hour, but this is the way God has lead my day, and I saw your post and felt moved to say a little something to help you.
Heavenly Father, Abba God, Daddy God, incline your ear and hear and answer your humble servants prayers:
Lord, I lift up this one little girl, baby, and indeed her whole family to you. Lord you know them because you made everyone of them and thus, I pray that Your will be done, in all the matters concerning this child, her grand father, and that her family be blessed with Your Spirit of reconciliation.
Lord, I pray that You shower your little Girl known here as, Cariadlawn, with as much of Your abundant wealth, wisdom, love, grace, peace and security as she can stand or is able to bear according to Your riches in heaven.
I pray that these prayers be found acceptable to you, and be as a sweet fragrance and aroma that is pleasing to you Heavenly Father.
I pray all these things, In Your Son's Yeshua/Jesus' name for His Praise and for His Glory! Amen
Cari, please get a good night's sleep, and tomorrow when you rise, thank Him for watching over you and your baby, and give Him Praise for the new day that He has made, so that you be glad and rejoicing in it, for we serve a mighty God that is able to all things.
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StevenFarrisOhio
- Posts: 148
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:02 pm
G-main..I just wanted to let you know that you have me mistaken with somehow else...Actually, I was not the person who posted this site, so, someone else is due the credit...I did click on it, and really found it very inspirational...Thanks for giving me the credit, anyhow...I posted the site to "The Dash Movie"....Honest Mistake...I am sure people will enjoy the site you posted, but, the credit is not due to me, or maybe it was just meant for people to read this site...Who knows???? God Bless....
Steven Farris
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Guest
Here is the actual site I posted...Gman..
Watch this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdldQg3Ks....God Bless...
Watch this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdldQg3Ks....God Bless...
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Guest
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Guest
Hi Ms T Bones,
I have grown more and more in love with all the wonderful things that you say, and share, that I guess I was mistaking you for sister creepy. I will visit this, but at the moment I am in the midst of serving in this ministry that God has called and entrusted me to do.
Every day I am waiting for a Suddenly and sure enough here it is. Thanks for the encouragement and may God continue blessing you with that anointing that He is pouring out on you. Amen
I am not a jealous sibling, and I am just so glad that we are here expecting those Suddenlys to come into our lives each and every day and fully expect for Jesus to speak to us and pass it along to someone that is in total distress, and for us to be there to embrace them, as best we can through this medium, yet I can feel His presence and Love. Isn't it Beautiful? Isn't it exciting? I greatly expect everything to happen and continue to happen just as we are witnessing it.
Thanks again, and I hope that I was able to adequately convey these feeling enough to fairly share these wonderful feelings and excitements. Alleluia!
opps the devil is working over time. please edit your post with the link and put inside or url tags. This same thing happened to me yesterday. Haaaa, ssatan, you were thwarted. AGAIN! Praise God, Glory be to the name be to Yeshua-Jesus. Amen!
BTW, there is no need to apologize, there are enough, problems within this forum, that it takes some degree of expertise to figure many of them out and how to overcome them. I always copy all of my post before I post it. It's just a good habit to get into doing. I have even had to do that with yahoo mail as stuff just goes into hyper-space. Don't worry about the link, I am sure that you will figure it all out. I am with you and encourage you to email it to me, if you have to. We are not going to let these minor problems hold us back.
Lots of...
I have grown more and more in love with all the wonderful things that you say, and share, that I guess I was mistaking you for sister creepy. I will visit this, but at the moment I am in the midst of serving in this ministry that God has called and entrusted me to do.
Every day I am waiting for a Suddenly and sure enough here it is. Thanks for the encouragement and may God continue blessing you with that anointing that He is pouring out on you. Amen
I am not a jealous sibling, and I am just so glad that we are here expecting those Suddenlys to come into our lives each and every day and fully expect for Jesus to speak to us and pass it along to someone that is in total distress, and for us to be there to embrace them, as best we can through this medium, yet I can feel His presence and Love. Isn't it Beautiful? Isn't it exciting? I greatly expect everything to happen and continue to happen just as we are witnessing it.
Thanks again, and I hope that I was able to adequately convey these feeling enough to fairly share these wonderful feelings and excitements. Alleluia!
opps the devil is working over time. please edit your post with the link and put inside or url tags. This same thing happened to me yesterday. Haaaa, ssatan, you were thwarted. AGAIN! Praise God, Glory be to the name be to Yeshua-Jesus. Amen!
BTW, there is no need to apologize, there are enough, problems within this forum, that it takes some degree of expertise to figure many of them out and how to overcome them. I always copy all of my post before I post it. It's just a good habit to get into doing. I have even had to do that with yahoo mail as stuff just goes into hyper-space. Don't worry about the link, I am sure that you will figure it all out. I am with you and encourage you to email it to me, if you have to. We are not going to let these minor problems hold us back.
Lots of...
Last edited by Gman5256 on Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
G-man..Thanks for your information...I never thought about coping and pasting, but actually that is a excellent idea...Thank you so much...
Here is the site Father's Love Letter-Video
Here is the site Father's Love Letter-Video
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Guest
Hi Ms T,
Did I say something about copying and pasting, boy that old devil getting the stuffing knock out him all day long If I mentioned it, I must have thought it and you got it!
I am just getting back around to this thread. I thank you for the link. Excellent, like Mike Meyers would do with a the thumbs up and Garth in his Amen choir. I really have to watch it today. My B/p is up and over 180/107, but God is working to heal me every day, and I praise Him. Excellent! My tears are totally of this joy and a sense of constant reassuring and loving confirmation. Thank you Lil sister for the role he selected you to play.
Here is something that I created nearly 13 years ago during the narrow band width era, I hope you enjoy it:
http://www.advancewellnesstech...nys_applet/Jesus.mov
This is the Quicktime rendition for some reason the java version is not displaying. It's probably something wrong at the server, all the documents are there. Okay, it was the java on my browser that wasn't launching. Here is the link to the java version.
http://www.advancewellnesstech...ys_applet/jesus.html
If you right click and select view source, you can read the pertinent data of authorship and when written and edited. As well as a definition of purpose. Even today, as I read this; it is a blessing to me that God's Holy Spirit poured all over me then and still does today.
If the text is moving too fast in the java version, simply mouse over onto the image and the text will stop and change colors.
Praise God, He has done mighty and wondrous deeds and things for me today. I had several Suddenlys, and for that I am very grateful.
God Bless you Lil Sister in the lord and lots of...
Did I say something about copying and pasting, boy that old devil getting the stuffing knock out him all day long If I mentioned it, I must have thought it and you got it! I am just getting back around to this thread. I thank you for the link. Excellent, like Mike Meyers would do with a the thumbs up and Garth in his Amen choir. I really have to watch it today. My B/p is up and over 180/107, but God is working to heal me every day, and I praise Him. Excellent! My tears are totally of this joy and a sense of constant reassuring and loving confirmation. Thank you Lil sister for the role he selected you to play.
Here is something that I created nearly 13 years ago during the narrow band width era, I hope you enjoy it:
http://www.advancewellnesstech...nys_applet/Jesus.mov
This is the Quicktime rendition for some reason the java version is not displaying. It's probably something wrong at the server, all the documents are there. Okay, it was the java on my browser that wasn't launching. Here is the link to the java version.
http://www.advancewellnesstech...ys_applet/jesus.html
If you right click and select view source, you can read the pertinent data of authorship and when written and edited. As well as a definition of purpose. Even today, as I read this; it is a blessing to me that God's Holy Spirit poured all over me then and still does today.
If the text is moving too fast in the java version, simply mouse over onto the image and the text will stop and change colors.
Praise God, He has done mighty and wondrous deeds and things for me today. I had several Suddenlys, and for that I am very grateful.
God Bless you Lil Sister in the lord and lots of...
Last edited by Gman5256 on Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
Gman...My blood pressure used to go up too..My family physician put me on blood pressure pills, but, I refused to take them...My elderly aunt who had gone to the doctor with me that day, anointed me with oil, and prayed for me...I was healed...In no way, am I suggesting that anyone else not take their blood-pressure medication...I am just wanting to share the healing which I received...My aunt who prayed from me had suffered the same problem, and she was anointed and healed...But, like I said....I would suggest remaining on any medication, unless the doctor takes you off it....Just can't thank the Lord enough for the healing....God Bless...
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Guest