Stress Center Peer Support

Hello all - I'm working the program and post to this forum whenever I get a chance - I find it encouraging and the people to be so nice. Please bear with me as this post is a little long.

I have been feeling a bit discouraged lately and would appreciate your prayers. I'm a Christian and I started the program for the second time after being pretty well and symptom free for 8 years. Then I came down with a bad bout of anxiety again last summer, which got progressively worse until I was almost completely agoraphobic. So, I dusted off the old tapes and I'm on week 12.

One thing that has been tough has been the disconnection from the church I was attending. My husband and I had been attending this church for a little over a year and were pretty involved - we went regularly and got involved in things and though we didn't make any deep friendship we did get to know a lot of people, going to social events and serving in ministries together. When I started to experience my anxiety symptoms, I just didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about it. This particular church is non-demoninational, but they have churches all over the country (I'd rather not say the type, but's it's an evangelical christian church).

I had heard the pastor and others on more than one occasion sort of mock people taking antidepressants (calling them happy pills) and anxiety and depression in general and that they don't support psychology or even christian counseling, so this is part of the reason why I didn't feel like I could be open about it. I also started to feel like everytime I went to church I was getting beat up - they focused a lot on how we're never doing enough, never giving enough - a lot of guilt-based messages and to be honest, I already have a tendency to feel overly-guilty, so I needed to hear a little bit more about grace and love. I don't want something sugarcoated or to never be challenged to grow, but I believe there should be a balance and they were leaning too much in one direction.

In addition to my anxiety, I have also been having ongoing unrelated health issues and I had sent in prayer requests via their email request line. My husband also kept in touch with one person who also attends the church and works there part time and he told this person that the reason we hadn't been attending was due to my health problems (but he would never mention anxiety or depression, for the same reasons I mentioned above). But no one of all the people we got to know and served with ever bothered to call and see how we were or follow up and it was really disappointing. I recently learned from that person that we were brought up in a pastor's staff meeting and they wondered if they did anything to offend us. What ever happened to picking up a phone and calling someone to ask them directly? I also found it interesting that no one seemed to be aware of the prayer requests I had sent in regarding my other health issues. Anyway, they truthfully didn't do any one particular thing to offend us, we just realized we don't agree with their style and we actually feel it wasn't a healthy place so we're going to move on to something else.

Clearly there are many of people of faith who suffer with anxiety and depression and it's not because they aren't reading their bible enough or praying enough. I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but I'm glad to see there are other christians on this forum who can relate. I don't understand how some people of faith can be so ignorant.

I felt ashamed to let anyone else in that church know what I was going through, but I do realize now that it was them and not me. But now we have no fellowship and it's been hard going through this without that kind of support. We are moving soon, so we will look for a new church when we do that, but in the meantime it's been tough. So, that's why I'm reaching out to the community here.

Please keep me in your prayers. I've gotten so much better with the panic attacks and agoraphobia, but I'm still dealing with depression and just sort of feeling numb and void and flat. I was doing great for a while with positive self talk, relaxation tapes, exercising, taking vitamins and eating better, but I don't know, it's like I just got unmotivated and I feel like I'm slowly fading from reality, but not in a panicky way, just in a depressed way (I'm not on antidepressants). Honestly, it's really scary to just not feel much. At least when I was anxious, I was feeling something, albeit something unhealthy that was making me sick. Somewhere in my mind (though I'm not freaking out panicking about it) I still worry that I'm losing touch with reality because I just stopped caring. There is a lot of stress with our move coming up and my sister is having an operation Tues for cancer and I haven't even started my taxes and we own a business. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed. I just thought that by now in the program my mood would be better, and it's not.

Well, I know this was long so thanks to anyone who took the time to read it.

In His Love,
Melanie

Dear Melanie,

I will most definitely keep you in my prayers. Anxiety and depression is nothing to be ashamed of. There are several instances in the Bible that speak of Depression. Psalm 3:3, Psalm 34:15,17 and Isaiah 54:4 (The Everyday Life Bible) are a couple that come to mind.

Could it be that these baby Christians where you attended church be the same people Paul speaks of in Romans 2:1?

In His Love,
Sister

A biblical prescription for depression:
Psalm 143:3-10

David's response to his feelings of depression and gloom was not to meditate on his problem. Instead, he literally came against the problem by choosing to remember the good times of past days. Pondering the doings of God and the works of His hands. (Psalm 143:5) In other words he thought about something good, and it helped him overcome his battle of depression.

I got this out of The Everyday Life Bible featuring notes and commentary by Joyce Meyer. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in my time of doom and gloom.

Hi Melanie,
I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I am sorry to hear about how the people at your church acted. I think you just have to ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" (cliche I know). But really, I really don't think Jesus is down on people who have anxiety/depression problems or people who take meds in attempt to relieve their suffering. I think people who suffer from anxiety/depression (including myself) can be unusually hard on ourselves. It sounds like you have a lot of stressors in your life right now, and if anything, you should be patting yourself on the back for being so strong and fighting to be better. I think you should try to focus on small daily goals, and give yourself a big YAY when you accomplish them. I will keep you in my prayers, and please keep your head up. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Dear Melanie...I think you are making a wise decision by moving on and finding another church to attend...God is love, and it sounds like this church is out for monetary gain. I honestly have never heard of a church, which, has no compassion...I love going to a church that speaks about love and grace...I don't believe that condemning others is Biblical...You have absolutely no reason to feel guilt over having anxiety attacks...Church should be an up-lifting place to go and worship the Good Lord...I am sure that you are feeling numb because of the way the people inside the church have treated you, and you will begin to care again, once, you find a church with people in it, who feed the flock...That is what we all need (food from the Master's table)...I am sorry to hear about your sister, and I will say a prayer for her...I will also pray that you find a church which will build you up, and not try and tear you down. I honestly believe that the people inside the church who are doing these things are sinning...And they need to repent of their deeds...You did not deserve to be treated in this manner, and you are not the guilty party....I love the Lord with all my soul, mind and strength, and there are many churches with people in them who know God's love, as I do....I pray this helps you let go of the guilt-trip thing, because you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty over..God Bless

Thank you so much Sister, Lawgirl and Ms. T Bones for your encouragement. It just felt good to finally be able to tell other Christians what I have been going through.

Unfortunately, as Sister Creepy asked, these were not baby Christians - these were long time Christians and pastors. They don't deny that depression exists, they just have formed this opinion that it's totally derived from too much self focus (or some sin in your life) and the way to feel better is to take the focus off of yourself and serve others. While I agree that this is PART of what you can do to feel better, they think this is all a person has to do (which is why they look down on meds, counseling, etc.). I also think it's important to do some self evaluation to see where our anxiety and depression may be rooted. And the Bible tells us to think on good things, remember what the Lord has done for us, count our blessings and be thankful. Well, to me, this the original cognitive-behavioral therapy. To me, this is what it means to be "tranformed through the renewing of your mind." So, I think doing this program and seeking good therapy totally meshes with what the Bible teaches us to do. I also have been starting to listen to some Joyce Meyer and I find her very encouraging and really down to earth and relatable.

Thank you for reminding me not to be so hard on myself - it's really nice to hear. Don't we all need to hear that sometimes? That's why I couldn't continue going to this church because what they were saying basically was, "you're not being hard ENOUGH on yourself." I'm sorry, but I don't think God wants us to constantly beat ourselves up over what we're not doing for Him. That's exactly why Christ died for us - He paid the penalty already. We could never be good enough. It was like a backhanded legalism. Anyway, I don't think they intend to make people feel bad, it just wasn't a place where I could grow and thrive.

My faith has remained strong throughout this, I just really missed having fellowship and I really thought amongst fellow believers is where I should have been able to go and get support without judgement. You all who responded to me and the other posts I read on here have shown me that there are other Christians who can empathize with these issues.

I thank God for you all and I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Praise the Lord! Christians with anxiety like me. Melanie, I feel the same as you and I prayed for a wonderful new church and God has granted me that new one and I have been attending now with my son for several weeks off and on. Some Sundays I just don't feel like getting out of bed but having my son go with me helps a great deal and I love all the people there.

I am so thankful to find a topic for prayers. Melanie you and others will be in my prayers and we will get through this with the support of each other and the Lord and this program.

In Christ,
Anita

Sister Creepy, Amen and well said. I also enjoy reading Joyce Meyer and have a couple books of hers that have helped me with my anxiety and depression.

In Christ
Anita

PS Now I need to go find the one that really helped me and list the title of it here. But there goes that procrastination and negative thinking of I'll never find it or I will forget or because my husband is sleeping now I cannot wake him to go look for it. See how that negative thinking works....Arggghhhh

Originally posted by Sister Creepy:
A biblical prescription for depression:
Psalm 143:3-10

David's response to his feelings of depression and gloom was not to meditate on his problem. Instead, he literally came against the problem by choosing to remember the good times of past days. Pondering the doings of God and the works of His hands. (Psalm 143:5) In other words he thought about something good, and it helped him overcome his battle of depression.

I got this out of The Everyday Life Bible featuring notes and commentary by Joyce Meyer. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in my time of doom and gloom.

Is it possible that you have been put in the path of that particular church and it's members to change and question there mockery and to express your disproval of it? Sometimes we are put on a path for a short time just to change the direction of that very path. You do not care for the way the pastor and some of his congregates talk behind peoples backs and if it is bothering you I am quite sure others have noticed as well and possibly some are feeling even worse than you are about it. Maybe instead of looking at this situation as a negative you could look at it as an opportunity for you and your husband to bring some real change about the gossip this church is involved in. Lets face it nobody likes being talked about and any pastor and his flock that talk about others in a derogatory way or even expressing private information about any one member to it's other members is just plain wrong on so many levels. Pastors are people to and bringing this to his attention privately may be not only the lift you are looking for but more importantly than that may keep from leading others away from the church because of it's idle gossip. Sounds to me like this pastor just needs a good ole' fashioned kick in the pants. (so to speak). And lastly in my opinion whatever there opinions are of others need and should be kept to themselves.

Hey Melanie, I read the first post you made. Faith is a hard one for all of us - remember that little mustard seed? It sounds like you are as overwhelmed as I am. I can't even clean my house because of rickets and broken bones and now my knees are gone - one with a torn meniscus and a sprained hamstring and I'm still recovering from a broken back that I received during my hysterectomy a year and a half ago. It healed but now I have no spacing left between discs L4-S1. I'm thankful I can walk again. But like you, I have not even started on my taxes and you just reminded me of it. Thank you.

You and your sister will be in my prayers. I know it is hard to do right now but laugh a little more at yourself. I have to or I'd go insane. I am close with the Lord but I can find myself saying some horrible things to my husband sometimes - can't believe he puts up with me and has for 31 years. I wasn't always like this as I feel probably most of us weren't.

In Christ's Love,
Anita