Trying to stay safe from hell

The spiritual response to anxiety and depression
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SheilaMaurer
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 12:42 pm

Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by SheilaMaurer » Sat Jul 30, 2011 1:14 pm

I Love Jesus with all of my heart and fear God with all of my being... My major life changing anxiety and panic attacks started when I became a Christian. I was so afraid that I was going to make a mistake and God was going to flick me off into hell that I made a decision to stay home and never go outside. I thought if I stayed inside then I couldn't sin much so I would be safe from hell...
I spent 3 years like that, in isolation. During this time the enemy had his chance to really beat me up with thoughts. I wanted to kill myself and would have on several occasions but I always heard that if we kill ourselves we might go to hell... the MIGHT go to Hell thing kept me alive.
Being isolated and alone with my thoughts caused me to be afraid of people, what they thought of me or what I believed they thought of me kept me in constant panic and anxiety. I didn't even feel real. I was in constant high alert. I have been trying for that last two years to get out of this anxiety, panic and isolation. I have prayed and prayed and have forced myself to go to church on several occasions. I feel like God is doing this to me. I am afraid to make friends because I am afraid they will influence me to do the wrong things and God will throw me into hell. I don't feel good enough to be loved by Him or anyone else. I feel like He's setting me up to fail... I know that's messed up. But my dad was like that and I guess I see God like my dad. I don't know how to live. What's okay, what's not okay? How can I live for God? How can I live life and be happy? PLEASE HELP ME. I am stuck.

bunny rabbit
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:41 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by bunny rabbit » Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:16 pm

Hi Sheila: Thank you for your honest sharing. The words I can most relate to are "My dad was like that. I see God like my dad". I believe this is true for all of us as Christians. When we have come from parents who were able to represent God's love to us in a reasonably healthy way, we have a good relationship with God as a loving Father. However, if we have been raised with severe dysfunction and abuse as I was, we see God as like our earthly parents, harsh, unloving, a powerful being with a whip in His hand ready to pounce on us. I have been in recovery from the past for 20 years now and my concept of God has totally changed from when I was first saved. I see my heavenly Father as accepting me totally just as I am. I see Him loving me all throughout His Word. I am His priceless possession, His handiwork, His masterpiece. I am reminded of the Father's Love Letter that you can look up online. Just google "Father's Love Letter". All these scriptures are ones I have meditated and written out over and over again. God loves you so much Shiela. I pray He will show you so incredibly and wonderfully His awesome love for you, how wide, deep, rich and awesome it is. Prayer is Father waiting with His arms wide open for you to spend time with Him. I give you a big hug, Sheila. My prayers are with you sister. Love Sharron

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by NeverQuit » Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:46 pm

I second Sharron! She has great wisdom! We need to pour our minds into God's Word, into verses about His love for us. I would also encourage you Sheila that it is VERY common for people who are spiritual with anxiety to have anxious thoughts about God, I too have struggled with this and am still working on overcoming this tendency. God has created you with a very creative, intellectual, analytical mind, and He wants to use it for His glory. God IS going to use this trial to make you SO MUCH stronger in Him, and to bless others! Meditate on Scriptures about God's love for you!

Hebrews 2:14-18: "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." See, God came to set us FREE from the fear of death, NOT to bring us more fear. And He goes a step further and says that even in this life, when we have temptations, He is there to help us through them! So awesome.

Another great verse for me has been this one: 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

bunny rabbit
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:41 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by bunny rabbit » Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:46 pm

Thank you NeverQuit: How very kind. My self-esteem got a boost. Blessings from Bunny (sharron)

dxbab1692
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:31 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by dxbab1692 » Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:54 pm

it is normal to have a fear for god. you just need to know that our god is a loving god. god wants to see us succeed. i can relate to you. i have been having a hard time trying to find what god is and im scared too. i hope that you find some reliefe and get better soon. best of luck. :D
i am a guy that has been troubled by anxiety and depression all my life. i also have schizophrenia and it makes it a little hard for me. the more support the better. thank you

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by LyndaLu » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:53 am

I don't want to go to hell either, but sometimes
the physical and emotional pain of living in this
world overwhelms me and I don't want to be
here any longer. I am so often wanting for that
peace of mind that so many others seem to possess.
When I close my eyes at night I just wish
to have that "peace" come over me so that I
can sleep and rest. Right now when I close my
eyes at night I find that my mind is just restless and busy.
Lynda :shock:

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Trying to stay safe from hell

Post by NeverQuit » Thu Jul 26, 2012 9:33 am

Hi Lynda,

I can relate to that, I remember when my anxiety was really bad I felt like something was wrong with me, like I was separated from God somehow. But the Bible tells us that God loves us. Have you asked Him to give you that sense of peace you are looking for? God is ready to give it to you! Maybe if you turn those depressive thoughts into prayers at night, it would help you to feel better. :)

Praying for you!

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