Stress Center Peer Support

I am currently on week 8 of the program, but have a recurring question that I can't quite sort out. I am a Christian, and was always taught that what God wants is more important than what I want. I was also taught to give God the glory rather than appreciating my own accomplishments. There is a line there somewhere between healthy self-esteem and being too self-centered. I'm having trouble finding that line. I continue to believe that what I can do on my own is far less than what God can do working through me. So.... does anybody have some insight to share as to how the ideas in this program fit together with the Christian faith? How does going for what I want or putting myself first fit with having Christ as Lord?

Hi Hutch,

I believe the key is balance. For instance, as a Christian, if we get sick, we pray and go to the doctor and take medicine if needed. I believe we pray first, then do what we can do and God will do the rest. This program is a tool that we can use to help get better but we pray first, then do what we can and God will do the rest.

As for putting yourself first, I think we have to take care of ourselves so we can be there for others and be available as God calls us to do things. We should never try to be God over our lives. That's a job only He can handle!

As we pray and seek God's will for our lives, our wants will line up with His desires.

We can give God the glory and still be appreciative of our accomplishments, knowing that it is through the ablility and talents that He gives that we are able to do anything.

Finally, what you can do on your own is definately far, far less than what God can do through you. But with Him nothing is impossible. We can overcome whatever challenge we are facing. Hope I wasn't talking in circles as my family members have been coming in and out of the house and I've been interupted like 3-4 times! Blessings, T

I ditto everything Silverlining has said. Pray first and then do what we can do and God will do the rest. Just like Abe Lincoln said about praying and doing things ourselves.

hutch19,
Hi!
I to am a Christian. I believe that God wants us to feel good and have a direction and be a positive influnce on others. I don't think I had a healthy self esteem, and I'm doing better do to going though the program. I think its fine to stand tall and be proud of your acomphishments goals and dreams. I also give thanks to him for putting them in my heart.

God is in you, its your job to be the best you that you can be and that includes a healthy you!

Thank you for your thoughtful responses! Still lots to think about....

Originally posted by hutch19:
How does going for what I want or putting myself first fit with having Christ as Lord?

Greetings hutch19,

There is no "how" to it. It simply does not fit. How can this be when the Christian experience is about being dead to self and alive in Christ?

We live in a world where Satan wants to pacify everyone with everything except Christ reigning in the hearts of man. Because of self, the big “I” in the middle of sin, there seems to be a tendency for some, even professing to be religious, to use some kind of god to exalt themselves. A do-it-yourself religion under the guise of some formality of there being a god. There is a tendency to want a god that can be molded into mans image, a god that can be manipulated at mans convenience. A god that conforms to the mind of man. And, of course, this is what happens when one is centered in himself. I imagine that it must be easier for one to look at himself and create a god rather than to look to the one true God that did the creating. For to look to God we must see what sin is and come to grips with the fact that we are sinners. Not because God created us to be sinners, but because God created us in His image to be together forever in love. But, you see, love is really not love without the freedom to choose. And we know there was a choice made back in the Garden of Eden. Roman’s 5:12 says, “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.” We all continually have choices to make. 1 John 3:4 says, "Sin is the transgression of the law." Jesus says, "If ye love me, keep my commandments,"--John 14:15. God's commandments are a transcript of His character and therefore I think it is safe to say that if we love God we need to keep all of who He is in our heart and abide in a loving relationship with Him.

"The life in which the fear of the Lord is cherished will not be a life of sadness and gloom. It is the absence of Christ that makes the countenance sad, and the life a pilgrimage of sighs. Those who are filled with self-esteem and self-love do not feel the need of a living, personal union with Christ. The heart that has not fallen on the Rock is proud of its wholeness. Men want a dignified religion. They desire to walk in a path wide enough to take in their own attributes. Their self-love, their love of popularity and love of praise, exclude the Saviour from their hearts, and without Him there is gloom and sadness. But Christ dwelling in the soul is a wellspring of joy."

There may be a place for the objective recognition of our value in the sight of God, but this is different from the self-centeredness of the fallen human race. We cannot try to mix the two. We cannot serve both God and self. And, of course, the value we have is based on God's love and the fact that He created us. It is not something that we have in and of ourselves apart from God. While from the light of the cross of Calvary we obtain a view of the great love of God for man, we should not build ourselves up in self-esteem; but in humility of soul stand before God as prisoners of hope.

May we all put away our self-esteem and self importance and put on the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!

Thanks for the invitation to share and may the Lord richly bless us all as we "die daily" and draw closer to Him.

May we all put away our self-esteem and self importance and put on the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!

I don't see how working on our self-esteem is taking anything away from the Lord. Lucinda's program is teaching those in need that we sometimes let other people's needs come first, at the destruction of the "people pleaser's" demise.

There are skills to be learned, "coping" skills that will help us to do better in our relationships with others that in turn will help us to feel better about ourselves. Christ taught many of those skills by his actions and teachings, but he also stood up for himself when needed.

He is the Saviour and our Father in Heaven was his father. He had great power and wisdom when he was on earth to fulfill a great mission.

We are mere mortals trying to take one step at a time. And by building our self-esteem one step, even baby step at a time, does not take away from the Saviour's mission, it only glorifies Him.

I don't think anyone here is proud or haughty, I think most have a broken heart and a nervous system that is running amuck. The Lord knows that and is waiting to be asked for some guidance from him.

But he gently prods us, the broken hearted, eventually, our hearts will be broken one way or another and then we will have to work it out.

I wouldn't take anything away from someone building their self-esteem, if it is done right the Lord will bless them and raise them up in His due time. Unfortunately, we mortals, living in this world of ours would love to have things move a lot quicker if we had our way.

So that is the struggle we have to figure out day to day, minute by minute. Eventually, we're going to get it...but when and how is the question. Paislee

Well said Paislee....I appreciate your response to the previous post. Very full of grace. Thank you.

Hi, this was a big issue for me too. A lot of my suffering revolved around me "not being good enough for God". When I started doing the program, I heard comments from fellow family members (Christians), that "the program is good, but God is better", or another thing I struggled with was how the program teaches about being proud of yourself. (Isn't pride suppose to be a sin).

So like yourself, I struggled with this. Eventually I stopped taking things so serious, if you want a scripture to back up your self esteem, there's a line I forget where in the new testament, that says to "praise your wife", or "love others as you love yourself". So in other words, it's ok to give yourself praise, it makes you feel better about things.

I use to be a very hardline bible thumper, to me, I either was a Christian, or I wasn't, there was no in between for me. This led me to a lot of anxiety. I've been asking myself some really serious questions like do I really believe in God, and is he real.

Today I'm an atheist, and I feel great. No more worry about condemnation or damnation. There are a lot of good reasons why its OK not to believe in a religion, if you want to talk more about it PM me, I don't want to hijack this post with philosophy.

But basically, self-esteem, being proud of yourself, is important, so don't listen to what anyone says.

[/QUOTE]He is the Saviour and our Father in Heaven was his father. He had great power and wisdom when he was on earth to fulfill a great mission.

We are mere mortals trying to take one step at a time. And by building our self-esteem one step, even baby step at a time, does not take away from the Saviour's mission, it only glorifies Him. [/QUOTE]

Hello Paisleegreen,

You mentioned the Saviour's mission a couple of times and I was interested in what you believed His mission was/is.

Thanks,
GIL