Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:58 pm
I just finished reading The Shack what a life changing book it has been…… What a life changing few weeks it has been!
All just after watching two documentaries on Catholicism and Christianity that totally crushed and devastated almost any remaining thought, that I may possibly believe in “religion” at all. This, to me, meant I did not believe in God… at all, or did it? Well at that moment it did; and that was scary and I was angry! I only know that I wanted answers, I had been searching and searching and never finding what it was that was missing in my heart. I knew the loss of my sister was an enormous amount of the scared and confused part of it, but there were questions too. So many things I did not and could not understand and the more I tried to understand the harder it seemed to get to find the answer, and the more questions I seemed to have. Nothing ever satisfied or made real sense to me. I know people talk about blind faith and just believing in his will; but that just wasn’t cutting it for me, I need more, but what do you do when there are no real answers, just more questions, doubt, anger & guilt? For me it was this book; this incredible answer to so many of the emotions and questions that I was feeling.
What an amazing chain of events he placed before me… to bring me home.
How my life is changing! I don’t know if I can even explain. Reading this book has taken me on a journey of such raw emotion and healing. Emotions I not only tried not to feel but was terrified and ashamed of feeling; and some I didn’t know what to call what I was feeling until the character felt them and I could cry and say yes, yes that’s it!!!
During the time I was about mid-way through the book I was watching T.V. one afternoon- well it was on- and I had been contemplating and thinking about the events in the book. I had to read it rather slowly as it took time to process all the emotions I had been feeling. Anyways, I kind of snapped out of it when I noticed an infomercial I had seen months before maybe a year or so back; for StressCenter for Stress and anxiety. I have been on anti-depressants (this series)for about 7yrs. And struggle with anxiety and depression daily. I watched it about half way through and decided to purchase it. It wasn’t one of my impulse buys this time; I just knew that this was what I needed; the tools to help me gain control of my anxiety and depression. Now I know that Papa :p and his guidance will be there to guide me through. And I will not be to proud this time to raise my hands in praise and ask for his help and strength.
All just after watching two documentaries on Catholicism and Christianity that totally crushed and devastated almost any remaining thought, that I may possibly believe in “religion” at all. This, to me, meant I did not believe in God… at all, or did it? Well at that moment it did; and that was scary and I was angry! I only know that I wanted answers, I had been searching and searching and never finding what it was that was missing in my heart. I knew the loss of my sister was an enormous amount of the scared and confused part of it, but there were questions too. So many things I did not and could not understand and the more I tried to understand the harder it seemed to get to find the answer, and the more questions I seemed to have. Nothing ever satisfied or made real sense to me. I know people talk about blind faith and just believing in his will; but that just wasn’t cutting it for me, I need more, but what do you do when there are no real answers, just more questions, doubt, anger & guilt? For me it was this book; this incredible answer to so many of the emotions and questions that I was feeling.
What an amazing chain of events he placed before me… to bring me home.
How my life is changing! I don’t know if I can even explain. Reading this book has taken me on a journey of such raw emotion and healing. Emotions I not only tried not to feel but was terrified and ashamed of feeling; and some I didn’t know what to call what I was feeling until the character felt them and I could cry and say yes, yes that’s it!!!
During the time I was about mid-way through the book I was watching T.V. one afternoon- well it was on- and I had been contemplating and thinking about the events in the book. I had to read it rather slowly as it took time to process all the emotions I had been feeling. Anyways, I kind of snapped out of it when I noticed an infomercial I had seen months before maybe a year or so back; for StressCenter for Stress and anxiety. I have been on anti-depressants (this series)for about 7yrs. And struggle with anxiety and depression daily. I watched it about half way through and decided to purchase it. It wasn’t one of my impulse buys this time; I just knew that this was what I needed; the tools to help me gain control of my anxiety and depression. Now I know that Papa :p and his guidance will be there to guide me through. And I will not be to proud this time to raise my hands in praise and ask for his help and strength.
