Stress Center Peer Support

Every six weeks for 12 years I have had seizure like episodes for at least a day. (the neurologist didn't find anything wrong after eeg etc.) They are so strong that I feel anxiety for about five days. This is the fourth day. Tomorrow night I will be watching my year old granddaughter in my daughter and son-in-law's home overnight. (They live 45 mins. from our house in the country)I am so afraid. I haven't stayed by myself (without my husband) for 23 years at night. I won't even sleep in a different room from him. I am going to do this. I have overcome so much in the last six weeks of this program. I have to overcome this fear. How can I keep this awful fear from consuming me tonight and tomorrow. I KNOW it will be OK and I'm trying to think about all the fun I will have with my little sweet granddaughter. My other daughter said she'd keep her at her home but I'm tired of being paralyzed from fear. I will have such a feeling of accomplishment after I do this. You must understand that six weeks ago I wouldn't even go into the back rooms of my house after dark. I will exercise and listen to my relaxation tapes and pray alot but I need some help from some of you. Thanks, so much. I already feel a little better after writing this. I know that I am scaring myself but am not able to control it at this moment.

Hello, I understand how you feel. I too at one time was afraid to enter rooms of my house after dark. Pray and do what Lucinda says, as soon as you feel the fear reject it and put your thoughts on good things. You can do this, I don't know if you are a spiritual person or not. But I can tell you for me God has been my biggest help.

The number one thing is you do not want to fight the thoughts nor the feelings that are arising in you. Allow both their passage. Resistance to the fear is the problem. It's not the fear itself that is the problem. It's important for you to talk to yourself the way you would a small child and encourage yourself to do this thing you fear. Tell "her" that you know she can handle it. Let her know that you will not abandon her through this experience. Let her know that you probably will feel some anxiety throughout the time but you can handle it. Another part of the problem is you don't think you can handle those feelings BUT YOU CAN. You've been handling them for a long time! Let yourself know that it is OK to have anxious feelings while caring for your granddaughter. Let yourself know that you will keep busy with her and do your best to keep your attention on what the two of you are doing. Plus it sounds like you can call your other daughter if necessary. Just knowing that can soothe you. (You probably won't have to call her at all simply because you know you can.)

What other kind things can you say to your small child? How would you talk to any small child that was as scared as you are? That's how you talk to yourself. Do not judge this. Instead, embrace this part of you. Use your mirror work. Go to the mirror and watch yourself embrace yourself. It's really healing. Make what you are going through OK to go through! You'll notice anxiety subside because now you are accepting your fear. You are making it OK to experience it.

There are other tools as you move along with your progress.

Stop sign, calm breath and then focusing on what your doing in the present moment (instead of focusing on your thoughts).

You can also shout at this ego thinking mind and tell it you've had ENOUGH! Tell it you are tired of it controling your life! Give it hell and mean business.

You'll do great. Would love to hear how your wonderful time with your granddaughter goes.

Thank you both so much. That does help. I will certainly give your advice my best shot. I am a spiritual person and read the Bible and pray. I have a close relationship with God and these times bring me closer to him but I guess I feel inadequate also. I'm working on that! Bless you both.

Good Luck:-) I think if you visualize yourself being comfortable in advance it will really help. Also think about it being just one day to get through and focus on the child it will make all the difference. Of course it is easier for me to say from the outside. i have found it helps me when I am preparing for something that makes me very nervous if I do this. Deep slow breaths too....Hope this helps:-)

Anxiety over seizures is terrible. My son is a gran mal seizure taker. I am alone with him. I was so afraid of him taking one and not starting back up breathing or maybe I couldn't manage it alone as he is big. It took years for me to overcome this. He took one Christmas eve and I did fine. I have a plan and put it into action. He sees his neurologist today.

You said seizure like episodes. Do you take a real seizure or are you talking about anxiety about being alone and going in dark rooms?
If this is anxiety than facing your fears will help you. Positive self talk, keeping busy and getting your thinking off this event you think might happen would help you. Take Care, Natalie

Thank you for your reply. The episodes I'm speaking about begin with a rush of blood/chemical to my head, then a hallucination (the Dr. called it the opposite of de ja vu. I see someplace that I've never been before. They are never frightening). I call them brain whammys. They last about a minute, 30 to 40 times a day...progressively farther apart. They are so strong that I have to sit or lie down. The rush of blood/chemical goes to my stomach. I experience mild nausea then the feeling goes throughout my body to my limbs. I am so weak and have a "drunken" feeling all day.
The anxiety comes later in the evening and lasts four more days...five days total. I have had them every six weeks for twelve years. I don't know if I expect them to happen so they do happen or if because they have happened for so long and that's why I expect them. Which comes first..the chicken or the egg? At first the Dr. called them partial complex seizures but found nothing in the tests. I would be happy if it were panic disorder so that I can learn to control them.
I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope that in time his seizures will be under control.
Thanks again.

Why don't you first treat them as if they WERE panic attacks, use Lucinda's techniques, and see if you can get some relief.

Hey hunny, Wow I think you are great and so strong for wanting to do this, especially that 6 weeks ago u would not even consider it. I am so proud of you and I no you are of yourself. Just tke it one day at a time, and no that if you are making these small changes now and overcoming then the things you have in store for you are going to be tremendous. God Bless you ands your family always!!