Supporting an IBS sufferer

Suffering from IBS? Post your history, experience, comments and/or suggestions
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concernedwife1979
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:49 pm

Supporting an IBS sufferer

Post by concernedwife1979 » Sun Mar 13, 2011 4:01 pm

Over the course of the past year, my husband has discovered that he has generalized anxiety with panic attacks. These attacks often manifest themselves as what looks to be IBS. He fears eating anything out of the ordinary. He has an extremely difficult time when things are off schedule. During and after an attack he has bouts of diarrhea followed by horrible nausea for a day or two (sometimes more). He knows stress is a trigger. We are both reading From Panic to Power right now. Although we had a good weekend (first one in awhile), the time change today followed by a rough night of sleep thanks to our daughter led to him having a flare up. I feel like I contributed to it because we kept arguing intermittently all day about petty things--unfortunately I didn't realize until hours after he awoke that he was having a flare up. I'm so frustrated right now for many reasons but the main reason is that I don't know how to react to him when he feels this way or how to help him. His flareup this morning centered on panicking that we would be late to a children's play we were taking our daughter to go see. When we realized we were actually on time, he persisted in making negative comments like "We're not on time yet". I then made the comment that he wanted to perpetuate the cycle and that thinking in this rigid way was actually exacerbating his feelings. I should have shut up but I didn't. Basically I just need some help in how I should react to him and if there is anything I can do to help him understand that the more he rigidly adheres to his schedule and standards of perfection, the worse his symptoms will be when things go awry. He doesn't want to let go of his need for perfection! Please help!

JNicoleG83
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:33 pm

Re: Supporting an IBS sufferer

Post by JNicoleG83 » Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:50 am

I can't speak from experience of being married to someone suffering from this, but from my own point of view as someone that suffers from it. He's scared of not being in control and especially when he has a flare up because he doesn't know when it's going to happen. Just reassure him that it's okay if he has to use the restroom and it's okay if things don't always go according to plan. The whole point is to comfort him in a way that allows him to relax and not worry or stress the small things to prevent a flare up. When I feel pressured or stressed even if it's not from an argument, my anxiety triggers my stomach. When I have reassurance and someone helping to calm me or tell me it's okay, it feels that there's an understanding and it really does help and make me feel comfortable again. I wish you and your husband luck, you'll get through this just fine.

concernedwife1979
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:49 pm

Re: Supporting an IBS sufferer

Post by concernedwife1979 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:23 pm

Thank you for the insight. I feel so helpless when he starts to panic and I don't want to make it worse. Thank you again

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