Crippling Anticipatory Anxiety

Worry_wort · Post by **Worry_wort** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:02 am

Greetings -- I have posted on this topic before. I have several anticipatory anxieties that manifest themselves with terrible nausea -- so severe that I ultimately withdraw with all the resultant consequential effects to my esteem.

One of them is dating the opposite sex (I am not gay). I would really like to have a relationship with someone, but after the second or third date, this type of anxiety sets in. I have never been able to conquer it -- not even with professional help. I just know that it happens every time.

I like Lucinda's suggestion of living in the moment, and testing these waters in a very conservative way to start. But at my age, now, I have a hard time even finding someone to date! Also, living in the moment doesn't fool my subconscious from which the anxiety arises -- the nausea always comes!

Any suggestions?

victorious one · Post by **victorious one** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:07 pm

There are thoughts behind those feelings. Ask yourself, what are the thoughts ? What are you afraid of ?

lizikins · Post by **lizikins** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:11 pm

You could try taking an antacid or something to calm your stomach, before you even go on the date, so then you won't be as nautious. You might feel anxious and like you're going to throw up, but you won't. I get really nautious sometimes when I get very anxious, especially when I'm around a person I'm interested in. I just kept talking to the person though, because its only a feeling, and it will pass. You could always excuse yourself and go to the bathroom if you felt really bad.

miamikittycat · Post by **miamikittycat** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:48 pm

Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I think victorious is onto something. Feelings come from what we think. So what about thinking..I'm simply meeting a new friend. Make it short visits at first. Who knows where and if anything will go anywhere. Could be that it's not the person for you but they may know someone and you two could end up being good friends. I'd keep it light for yourself and the other person. If there happens to be chemistry it will happen naturally.

Worry_wort · Post by **Worry_wort** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:33 am

Greetings -- I agree that there are thoughts behind these feelings. My problem is that I can't hone in on the thoughts. They just seem to be very vague and in the subconscious and I can't get a handle on it. Without that edge, I can't counter it with a very specific positive thought.