1 Trip, a Million Worries

Lena Hourglass · Post by **Lena Hourglass** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:17 am

Okay, so I don't think the plane is going to crash... I DO think I'll have a major panic attack when I reach Chicago.

Panic affects my appetite and I'm scared that I'll be too anxious to go into a restaurant or deli; or even be around food... because wouldn't gagging or throwing up in front of people be oh-so embarrassing. A bit of sarcasm, yes, because I know this game and I've played it many times before. Get sick and back out of the trip: that's what my mind is telling me... Two days to go until take off, now. How should I feel?

The trip seemed simple and smooth when I began making plans for it. Now, I'm overwhelmed by its complexity and all the mixed emotions that have come into the picture. I'll be alone for the first day, but then I'll be with my great aunt. I also anticipate that my great aunt will be depressed because she lost both her sister (my grandma) and her brother this past winter.

I don't know why I thought this trip would be a breeze and fun, when my grandma's demise this winter was so hard that seeing her sister was sure to be a grim reminder of what I'd lost.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:26 am

Hi Lena Hourglass,
I totally sympathize with your mixed and scary feelings about the trip, believe me, I can relate!
Give yourself plenty of pats on the back for making plans and wanting to go, despite your feelings. Just the fact that you are coming face-to-face with your fears is totally awesome!
YOU CAN DO IT! Keep replacing those negtive thoughts, and remember that anticipation is so much worse than the reality the vast majority of the time. If you do feel some anxiety once you reach Chicago, you know how to handle it!
Very best of luck to you, and God bless. I am a Southern Californian, too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:04 am

Thank you. I knew I forgot to congratulate myself somewhere... always focusing on the negative instead of the positive.

Just as a follow-up, I leave for Chicago tonight after work. Yes, I am at work and doing fine. Productive/Preoccupied/etc. I started off the day feeling a bit nausious and have had diarrhea for two days, but yesterday I was still eating okay at meal times. I've been eating periodically today and bought tons of snacks for my trip, though I do hope I will be hungry enough for meals tomorrow and through Monday. So far, so good.

Woo-hoo, SoCals! So long sun and wind, hello SNOW?!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:11 pm

My anxiety comes out when I take trips, too. I had to drive to Detroit this week for an overnight for business. I was glad I was going to be able see how I handle the whole thing since it was my first trip since starting the program.

The drive was fine. When I checked into the hotel and got the room is when I felt "icky". Then I knew I was going to have to go to dinner with my boss.....and, wouldn't you know it? He took me to Morton's. I had a really hard time eating. I thought for sure I was going to gag.

When I got back to my room the anxiety started up. I dealt with it, did the relaxation and dealt with it some more. I did get some sleep and made it back fine.

Same story, different trip, for me. I know one of these days I will have a completely "episode free" vacation. LOL.

had enough · Post by **had enough** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:14 am

Been thinking about you, Lena Hourglass, and sending very positive thoughts your way. Hope you had a fine flight and are now enjoying the best of the "Windy City." Please let us know how you did, once you return, or keep us posted if you have access to a computer where you are now. There are LOTS of distractions in Chicago (such as trying to stay upright on a windy day), which is one great city! Keep those positive replacement thoughts coming, and BREATHE!
GOOD FOR YOU!