Hello-
I am really struggling right now. I have always wanted to have a baby. My husband and I wanted to start last summer, but I basically went down hill stressing and being anxious. I was in a very very bad state. They put me on a very low dosage of Paxil (anti-depressant) and told me not get pregnant while I was on it. So I worked very very hard - went through the program with a coach - got off my medicine and did pretty well. Everyday was a struggle, but I seemed to improve each day. I went off the Paxil in the beginning of January and have been doing pretty well...until this week. We started trying for a baby again (last month) - and I tried to be optimistic, but I am so scared that I am going to mess it all up again. I feel like I am waiting to mess it up! I have trouble with regular periods anyways - and I am afraid that if I am too stressed my menstrual cycles will disappear (then I won’t ovulate and won’t even have a chance to become pregnant). Or I am afraid if I am not perfectly relaxed then I won’t get pregnant. I am afraid that I am again going to sabotage my chances. I am just scared that I am never going to get pregnant and have a baby, which is what I want more than anything in the world….I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant and having babies. I also feel that I am never going to really get over this anxiety...it has been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember - last night I didn't sleep - and I woke up shaky and sick to my stomach...I am just so scared to go back down hill especially because many of my “anxiety symptoms” are coming back. Does anyone have any advice?
What if I can't get pregnant?
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Guest
Hey there,
I feel exactly like you do. I am not trying to have a baby at the moment but I do want to in the future. I am 26 and live with my boyfriend. He is supportive but is just now discovering how bad the anxiety can get. I am worried that I won't overcome my anxiety. but we can get through this. I believe it! I believe you can and will get pregnant. Try and not worry about it because I feel for me that it is in god's hands. Just like they said no one has died from an anxiety attack, and that it does go away eventually, but it is very frustrating while it is happening. I have been off medication for two years but now am going to try to get back on it. I just moved and just got a new car and am feeling stressed and worried about that.
I tried to go to a baseball game last night for the first time with my boyfriend of two years and I only lasted one inning and freaked out. My eyes are still baggy this morning at work from crying and feeling sorry for myself. But you are blessed to have a husband who loves you so much. It is a wonderful thing to have support but I understand how hard it is to explain to others who don't have this problem. I am still worried that the people who gave me tickets, I mean really really good tickets will be made at me and hate me forever.
Sorry I am venting. I hope I am helping.
I have not heard of stress affecting someone getting pregnant. The only thing that has calmed me down is to listen to the relaxation tapes! I usually fall asleep after listening to the tape at least twice. Then I usually can forget about my thoughts.
I worry that in the future if I have children that i will pass on my anxiety to them. I also worry that I won't be able to take them to do fun things, and eventually not go out of the house. But It has not gotten that bad for me yet. I have learned to a point what is wrong with me and what I need to do. I think we just have to have 100% committment to this program. I actually tried it three times after I graduated College. Everytime I got to panic attacks they told me to face my fear and I just couldn't make myself do it. Sorry I should stop talking about myself.
I think you seem like a wonderful person. It feels nice to be able to talk to someone like me. Listen to those relaxation tapes religiously. Right down your thoughts! I will try to do the same. Lets do this together!
I feel exactly like you do. I am not trying to have a baby at the moment but I do want to in the future. I am 26 and live with my boyfriend. He is supportive but is just now discovering how bad the anxiety can get. I am worried that I won't overcome my anxiety. but we can get through this. I believe it! I believe you can and will get pregnant. Try and not worry about it because I feel for me that it is in god's hands. Just like they said no one has died from an anxiety attack, and that it does go away eventually, but it is very frustrating while it is happening. I have been off medication for two years but now am going to try to get back on it. I just moved and just got a new car and am feeling stressed and worried about that.
I tried to go to a baseball game last night for the first time with my boyfriend of two years and I only lasted one inning and freaked out. My eyes are still baggy this morning at work from crying and feeling sorry for myself. But you are blessed to have a husband who loves you so much. It is a wonderful thing to have support but I understand how hard it is to explain to others who don't have this problem. I am still worried that the people who gave me tickets, I mean really really good tickets will be made at me and hate me forever.
Sorry I am venting. I hope I am helping.
I have not heard of stress affecting someone getting pregnant. The only thing that has calmed me down is to listen to the relaxation tapes! I usually fall asleep after listening to the tape at least twice. Then I usually can forget about my thoughts.
I worry that in the future if I have children that i will pass on my anxiety to them. I also worry that I won't be able to take them to do fun things, and eventually not go out of the house. But It has not gotten that bad for me yet. I have learned to a point what is wrong with me and what I need to do. I think we just have to have 100% committment to this program. I actually tried it three times after I graduated College. Everytime I got to panic attacks they told me to face my fear and I just couldn't make myself do it. Sorry I should stop talking about myself.
I think you seem like a wonderful person. It feels nice to be able to talk to someone like me. Listen to those relaxation tapes religiously. Right down your thoughts! I will try to do the same. Lets do this together!
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alwaysbeenweird
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:01 am
Try to divert your thoughts away from getting pregnant. Enjoy the intimate time with your
Husband and just go with it.
I bet it will happen when you are not even worrying about it.
Do a lot of deep breathing and don't 'What if'
yourself and don't project into the future.
Husband and just go with it.
I bet it will happen when you are not even worrying about it.
Do a lot of deep breathing and don't 'What if'
yourself and don't project into the future.
Last edited by DebDeb on Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
Thank you DebDeb and JackieB for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I know I can do this - but I really have to believe it and BELIEVE in myself. I do try to divert my attention, but somehow my thoughts always go back to - what if I can't get pregnant, what if it my anxiety preventing me from getting pregnant, what if I can't handle being pregnant or being a mom? Then things start to snow ball and I think that I hate my job (but I am afraid to change jobs becuase what if that makes my anxiety worse); I feel that I am not doing anything important in life, etc. Then the ugly anxiety symptoms come back, which scare me all the more! I also feel bad for my poor husband (which he has been incredibly supportive of me through all this...I am so blessed to have him my life) because I know that he wants children and I am the one holding us back...with these silly thoughts. I am really going to try and accept that I am fearful, but then try to divert my attention and work on relaxing and breathing. I am going to concentrate on the positive and BELIEVE that I can do this! I am not going to "What if" the heck out of this - I am going to be positive!
JackieB - If you ever want to talk - let me know. It sound like we are a lot a like. I remember a similar experience like your baseball game - I went to my husband's high school reunion last September - it was at a baseball game - and I had to leave half way through - I was so miserable and I couldn't concentrate on anything but my problems. I felt so sick, down on myself and I couldn't talk to anyone. I just kept thinking why can't I be like everyone else and enjoy life. But I have realized that for some reason God is having me go through this situation for some reason. Someone told me that if God brings you to a situation - he will bring you through it. And God will not give you more than you can handle. I just am trying to trust in this and hand over the control to God, but I WANT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING...which is a big problem of mine.
Sorry to ramble on and on. We will get through this and be all the stronger for it. Don't give up - take one day at a time and remember just because you have a bad day or bad night - doesn't mean your week will be bad. Stay Strong!
JackieB - If you ever want to talk - let me know. It sound like we are a lot a like. I remember a similar experience like your baseball game - I went to my husband's high school reunion last September - it was at a baseball game - and I had to leave half way through - I was so miserable and I couldn't concentrate on anything but my problems. I felt so sick, down on myself and I couldn't talk to anyone. I just kept thinking why can't I be like everyone else and enjoy life. But I have realized that for some reason God is having me go through this situation for some reason. Someone told me that if God brings you to a situation - he will bring you through it. And God will not give you more than you can handle. I just am trying to trust in this and hand over the control to God, but I WANT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING...which is a big problem of mine.
Sorry to ramble on and on. We will get through this and be all the stronger for it. Don't give up - take one day at a time and remember just because you have a bad day or bad night - doesn't mean your week will be bad. Stay Strong!