I am doing this lesson right now and had the perfect "opporutnity" to practice last week and blew it. I had something to tell the guy I'm dating and I anguished over it all week, nearly making myself sick worrying about how he would react, etc. It was all for nothing, as I told him, he was fine with it and we moved on. Now, I have not heard from him since this morning (he usually e-mails me throughout the day) and the paranoia is starting-- why hasn't he called or e-mailed? is he having seoncd thoughts about me? And on and on. The intelligent part of my brain knows that he is probably just really busy at work and everything is fine, but that other irrational part won't shut up.
How do I quiet that irrational part of my brain???
How to stop what if thinking?
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singerleigh
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 5:22 pm
hey,
this is the hardest thing ever i understand =o) heres my tip. learn how to meditate and practice yoga. these will help you slow your mind racing down in the long run and are very important.
as for the immediate situation heres an example of what i do. friday i realized that i forgot to pick up my college graduation tickets. my family is all flying up to see me graduate and i didn't pick up the tickets and they ended up giving them away. i instantly felt the cold sweat because my mom is gonna kill me!!!
but the truth is that i couldnt' go figure it out with the school till tuesday so i had a whole long weekend to worry about it. instead i made a list of the worst that could happen. then i made a plan of what i would do when i went in tuesday and talked to them. then i realized that nothing until tuesday was in my control and so worrying about it and ruining my weekend was not worth it.
there are things you can control. and there are things you can't but you can always control how you feel about the situation. when faced with something that is out of your control it really helps me to tell myself that whatever happens is suppost to happen and that if i dont get the answer i want that it is for a reason and that i dont have to worry about it. you obviously told him something that was very hard for you to tell him and honesty even late is the right thing to do so whatever happens will be right ya know:?
this is the hardest thing ever i understand =o) heres my tip. learn how to meditate and practice yoga. these will help you slow your mind racing down in the long run and are very important.
as for the immediate situation heres an example of what i do. friday i realized that i forgot to pick up my college graduation tickets. my family is all flying up to see me graduate and i didn't pick up the tickets and they ended up giving them away. i instantly felt the cold sweat because my mom is gonna kill me!!!
but the truth is that i couldnt' go figure it out with the school till tuesday so i had a whole long weekend to worry about it. instead i made a list of the worst that could happen. then i made a plan of what i would do when i went in tuesday and talked to them. then i realized that nothing until tuesday was in my control and so worrying about it and ruining my weekend was not worth it.
there are things you can control. and there are things you can't but you can always control how you feel about the situation. when faced with something that is out of your control it really helps me to tell myself that whatever happens is suppost to happen and that if i dont get the answer i want that it is for a reason and that i dont have to worry about it. you obviously told him something that was very hard for you to tell him and honesty even late is the right thing to do so whatever happens will be right ya know:?
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Mary Wargo
- Posts: 274
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:37 pm
Yoga and meditating is an excellent idea. It will over time slow a lot of those racing thoughts. Incorporate some of the positive self talk from our sessions in the meditation. We also sometimes just have to let things go. You have no control over when your bf can or does phone so the ruminating over why he didn't call is futile. You could also practice some assertiveness here and just ask him if there is something going on you should know about.
Stop the negative dialog write it down and thenOriginally posted by Jubles:
I am doing this lesson right now and had the perfect "opporutnity" to practice last week and blew it. I had something to tell the guy I'm dating and I anguished over it all week, nearly making myself sick worrying about how he would react, etc. It was all for nothing, as I told him, he was fine with it and we moved on. Now, I have not heard from him since this morning (he usually e-mails me throughout the day) and the paranoia is starting-- why hasn't he called or e-mailed? is he having seoncd thoughts about me? And on and on. The intelligent part of my brain knows that he is probably just really busy at work and everything is fine, but that other irrational part won't shut up.
How do I quiet that irrational part of my brain???
replace these thoughts with positive ones.
If he truely is interested in you it will not
matter & he will accept you for who you are.
Don't stress over it & you were very brave and
assertive to tell him in the first place! Very
well done-you faced your fear and did it!
Good Luck.
thanks for all the replies! It turned out that I was not being paranoid, though. He e-mailed me late in the day saying that we were moving too fast and he wasn't ready for a relationship, etc. But, it's obviously something going on with him, not me. When I told him what I had to tell him on the weekend, everything was fine and we had a great time. I didn't see this coming at all (well, part of my brain obviously did, which is why I was worried yesterday).
I just need to be positive with myself and know that I will find someone who will appreciate and like me for who I am.
I just need to be positive with myself and know that I will find someone who will appreciate and like me for who I am.