relationship anxiety

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 8:35 am

Hello everybody,
I am having a hard time going through a relationship I am not sure about. I am having tremendous anxiety. My therapist seems to think, that I need to hang in there to experience it, and to find out my true feelings about it. Sometimes I think, that maybe just removing the source of anxiety - the guy, I would just come back to normal. Is this possible, or is it possible to find peace, even if you are so unsure if you are with a right person?
Thank you for any input.
Unia.

ChangingTimes07 · Post by **ChangingTimes07** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:05 pm

"Sometimes I think, that maybe just removing the source of anxiety - the guy, I would just come back to normal."

Just my opinion but it may be your feelings
towards the relationship that is the source of the anxiety, not the guy. Maybe you need to examine deeper what the root of all this is for you

. Hope that helps

kurstin · Post by **kurstin** » Tue Feb 10, 2004 4:38 am

Hi Unia I often wonder about what you are asking because I am in a marriage right now that I am unsure about. When you find out the answer let me know, Good luck

turtle · Post by **turtle** » Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:02 am

Unia
I totally understand what you are saying. I have been in a relationship for eight years..I have wanted for so long to get married but he has not been ready..Now that he wants to move in I am pushing away..I can not decifer if its b/c I am afraid to take the next step or he really is not the right man for me. I am having tremendous anxiety about this issue too. I don't want to let go of him and make the biggest mistake of my life-but I also don't want to stay in a relationship I am unsure about..My therapist says always go with what you truley feel inside..But right now I cannot understand my feelings..Or I can,,and they are CONFUSION..If you want to chat, email me Jenniferc7@aol.com

rolfen · Post by **rolfen** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 1:43 pm

Part of the commitment anxiety comes from:
- Taking too much responsibility in the relationship: thinking that you are responsible for his happiness too...
- Not giving yourself the choice: If you say that he is "the man of your life" and you'll never find anyone better, then you're effectively not giving yourself a choice. Accept that he's just a man like another.. and you dont know what else there is out there. Dont push yourself too much... A harvard study concluded that Choice help to develop commitment...

Now it may also be somewhat pathological, a negative habit or character trait

Thefriend · Post by **Thefriend** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:54 am

Typically if you are feeling so much anxiety is because you see something you don't like or that does not really convince you. If you keep on feeling this over and over, then probably that is not going to change. I know it is hard for you to accept these things because he is probably very good looking or else. However, he is not the only one out there. Like it was said in the forum by another person: "He is just a man." Believe it or not, there is more out there and you are probably going to have to do a little more shopping (figuratively speaking) until you find what is actually best for you and finally feel 100% comfortable (no anxiety). I hope this helps! Good luck!

Thefriend · Post by **Thefriend** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:01 am

wow!!! I can't believe that was four years ago. Sorry for the delay. I hope you figured it out-if am too late. If not, take care and ask God for guidance. He knows the way!!! You can also always come back to the post. We'll try to help you. Chao!