ForeverYoung
First of all its great that you're even looking at the idea of facing the limitation...this is great! And thank you for asking and for the encouragement. Yes I do have a few ideas. What it seems like to me is that the focus is very much about the fear and the body symptoms and if that is the case then its going to generate so much fear and overwhelm that anybody who did that would not be able to move forward, thats what happens. So we have to dilute that fear with anything that can bring you into a positive state or is soothing.
You already mentioned that the pictures that I posted are soothing, so that is one tool you can use in order to dilute it. Maybe you can print them off and take them with you, thats one thing I use myself and it really does help. You could bring the nice scenery pictures with you and/or a couple of the ones that have quotes that feel good as well.
You say when you get afraid you have this urge to go talk to someone or to come on here and post online...that is one of your automatic soothing techniques and you can definately use that before and after the event in order to help you and you can look forward to what you're going to post after you are done facing that limitation.
If you like listening to a certain type of music, you can bring that with you as well and even better, if you like to sing, you can sing along with it!
You said you need to be your own support person...well eventually yes that is the goal but you don't have to start off all by yourself, you can definately take someone with you. In one of the tapes, Lucinda mentions about one lady in group who said as long as the dog is in the car with her, she feels safe. So even having a dog or some pet go with you if you have one would help...they say petting an animal helps to relieve alot of tension and it really does help.
You could even use nice smelling sents in your vehical that help create a soothing feeling within you....coconut and vanilla work for me...Patuli or Lavender or mint can be nice picks as well.
Pictures of people who inspire you or that you like...actors or singers. You could also watch a movie, show or read a book with one of those actors in it that has an empowering effect...perhaps that character became courageous and they went after something big and they overcame obsticals and they did it!
While you are facing the fear, allow yourself to take in your surroundings the same way you do when you walk
And make sure before you begin that you write down a reasonable expectation (getting in the car and making the attempt is a great example). The accomplishment is in taking steps that are moving you forward and doing anything outside of the anxiety cycle is moving you forward.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you would like more suggestions or if you need more understanding about certain things in the program.
THH
You said it about the what-ifing! And yeah we are doing a great job! Like I said to ForeverYoung any movement outside of the anxiety cycle is a move forward.
Exactly! You're mind is definately shifting more towards the positive and I think overall that is the main goal we are trying to get at...not so much about getting rid of the anxiety. I know that seems like the same thing but the focus and the feeling of it is much different. And i'm glad you mentioned about getting your mind to think of something else...again its like what I said to ForeverYoung about Diluting the anxiety feelings...its challenging but so was learning how to eat when we were toddlers....the more we try the better we get at it and we didn't have to worry about if we were going to be able to master eating, we just did it because we kept trying. Pretending like the spoon was an airplane would have helped a great deal as well
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And yeah the feeling those memories greatly helps and I definately recommend it! There are certain triggers of mine that come up (mainly seeing people that arenm't in my life anymore that I did feel somewhat close to but aren't in my life anymore) that before would be so overwhelming that I felt like I was going to explode but after spending alot of time feeling the loss and grieving, I am not feeling nearly the same intensity and it has definately helped me to separate that past situation from the present and it has even helped with the thought replacement as well....feeling the emotions has also been a big fear but when I face it, it might hurt but it feels satisfying and right in my heart and cathartic and i'm able to release some of that hurt and I find that trying to avoid it, deny it or run away from it is what makes it extremely overwhelming and after doing that for at least 16 years, I realized that it really doesn't work. What has your experience been with feeling those memories so far?
Mike