Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Is your day fraught with worry about something that may (or may not) happen? Stop imagining and anticipating the worst and learn the amazing rewards of living in the moment.
Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Mon Dec 30, 2013 2:26 pm

Wow lesson 8! We've been at this for 2 months which is pretty awesome!

To recap...we first learned about the body symptoms of anxiety as well as the symptoms of depression, we learned that we create these symptoms through our perception and what we are saying to ourselves instead of how it seems that it happens from the situations that happen outside of us as well as how to respond when anxiety does come up. We started to learn how to comfort ourselves as well as how we can create anxiety through our expectations of ourselves, other people and the world around us, we learned how to reduce anxiety and increase positive feelings through diet and exercise, we learned how our anger and what we do with it can influence ourselves both negatively and positively and we learned how important it is to express ourselves and stand up for ourselves. We have learned alot so far and we are all progressing in our own ways on our own paths. We have all picked up different insights into ourselves and with our anxieties and we have all had experiences where we have been able to calm ourselves in the heat of anxiety, we all had the courage to stand up and face it instead of doing what we habitually do and I think we all deserves to feel proud of ourselves for that.

In this lesson we get to learn about how our imaginations and ideas of the future of a situation can lead to anxiety. Remember when Lucinda said that we are creative but when that creativity is turned inward, we can scare ourselves into panic attacks? Well its true!

To start us off, I want to share a clip from a movie I recently watched which was really amazing and totally fits in with this lesson and about fear itself. This quote is really great but so is the rest of the movie because it goes along the same lines....very empowering!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uLOq7QdsZA Out of all the things I have ever posted on these forums, this I believe is by far the very best and if you only checked out one of the things I've posted, I'd recommend this one! Please check this out and let me know what it means to you, how do you interpret what is being said?


Mike

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by THH » Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:00 pm

Happy New Year! This is the Chinese year of the horse. I like this! :)

I started a post and lost it, so I'm not into rewriting it. I don't get how this happens at times but oh well!

I have not listened to my lesson or opened the book but I will. What if is another good session that I can't ever forget! Mike I liked your recap of what we have worked on up until now. Good job!
I also know I have a wild imagination and have to keep it on a short leash because I will get into trouble every time! I'm trying when I catch my self what ifing, turning it into something funny. Like what if pigs could fly. It helps me break out of the worry mode.

I liked you link too. Fear is a CHOICE! That is what sticks to me. Very different than danger, real danger. Great example Mike!
We are all telling ourselves a story in our thoughts and our bodies react to the what if story, and we fear it. We fear it just as if it were real, and it is not real. Good one to remember!!! ;)

forever young 06
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by forever young 06 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:19 am

mike where are you? I wrote a Tues and hit a button and it was gone.I have fell behind. It has took forever with getting down my decorations. I spent yesterday with my daughter and her kids. I have spent hours on the phone with the insurance company and lost my cool Tues with one agent. I am so tired with dealing with this. I wish I had a job with insurance. THH do you have to buy your insurance too ?

Oh mike the dreaded it is time to go out and face your fear . I don't know where to start and I have avoided this at all cost but if I refuse to do it 10 yrs from now I will still be here. I wanted to try and build my self up for this but I think I have not done so good at it. I have gotten lax on my journaling. I feel the need to talk to someone so I spend a lot of time on the phone and computer, I have laxed in excersing and eating. I am going to try to get back on track. once again I am feeling overwhelmed. I keep saying I need to catch my negative thoughts I need not think the worst case serano. I need to slow my thinking down. It is snowing here and I hate snow don't want to be snowed in. Happy New Year and hope for a year free from anxiety and panic

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:36 pm

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Happy new year guys...sorry I haven't been posting as much as before, it has been really crazy the last couple of weeks but my intention is to come back and be more involved from here on out!

So I've decided to make this year the year of Fear! Or rather the year of empowerment by overcoming my fears. I've started to make a list of the fears and limitations I want to overcome and I've put most of them into categories and hierarchies but its going to take awhile to do all them which is great!

I have a fear of heights that I am going to work on and do things such as...go on my friend's balcony, go on rollercoasters, the dropzone, go up the CN Tower, Skydiving and Bungee Jumping.

I have a fear of public speaking....so i've already started karaoke, but I also am planning to do improv classes, youtube videos, toastmaster's group and even an improv performance on stage (this is one of my top fears by the way)

I have a fear of watching certain things on tv, they tend to give me obsessive thoughts and so I'm going to face that and remind myself that it isn't real and that it is not going to happen to me.

I have a fear of conflict and a fear of socializing which i'm not sure how i'm going to break those ones down yet but I think talking to strangers and going to a club would be one of the top ones.

and I got a few other fears as well. So thats my plan for this year and I need to find a videocamera so I can at least record the process of going through my fear of heights and post that on youtube and on this site as well.

And I have other goals I want to achieve as well with my singing capabilities, physical fitness goals and a few others.


By the way I was cleaning out my room and I found one of my old spiral notepads and I went through it and I saw a thought I wrote down about how I tried to be assertive and the other person didn't respond well and because of that I truely believed that I didn't do it right...its amazing to see that because now I can see that expectation there and it actually does seem funny to me now. It didn't seem funny at the time but now it seems funny...its like that expectation to always be happy well that could seem pretty funny too if you have a perma smile on your face, especially if you were at a funeral or something bad happened...i'm not sure I'd want to feel happy during those times. That be like saying...yay my pet fish died! (sorry to the people who's pet fishes just died that are reading this).

I also went through the lesson cd yesterday and it was really good...What stood out for me the most is the part where she mentioned the expectation of how we should be further along with our progress in the program and not to plan too far ahead with facing limitations and to do them when you're feeling good or feeling more up...in otherwords to bring that positive energy into your attempt so you have a better shot at doing well and feeling good while you are doing it.
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If you go in feeling good and focusing on the outcome you want (maybe just attempting and the positive feeling that comes from accomplishing even that), then you can expand on that feeling and it grow. Its harder (but not impossible) to do that when you go in feeling negative.

In the past one of the things I got stuck in when it came to facing limitations is that I needed to do it every single day in order for me to overcome it but then I'd do it many times when I felt really awful and I'd feel even worse and eventually I'd just quit altogether...It was the idea that you have to do things for 21 days in a row for it to become habit but its not necessarily the case.

So i'm going to start slow...karaoke which i'm already doing and getting back to doing the curb jumping with my eyes closed (helps with getting comfortable with the fear of the unknown) and walking mindfully for 10 minutes a day, thats all I need to do right now, I don't need to jump head first into my absolute worst fear or even the things I have a moderate ammount of fear...just things that produce a small ammount of fear. Although Karaoke is still around the moderate mark but I want to do it more than i'm afraid of doing it.

I'm thankful for finding the inspiration and motivation to clean my room and to start the habit of putting things away.
I'm proud of myself for putting things away where they belong instead of just dropping it wherever I want and telling myself I'll take care of it later.

Mike

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:01 pm

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THH & Forever
Seems like both you and Forever have made a post and then you lost it...seems like what you said in those posts were not ment to be. I find that this stuff happens to me too when I don't feel completely good about posting everything that I have typed in that post and losing it helps me to re-evaluate what it was that I typed....a simple push of the back button can however bring back the message that you lost though so you could try that the next time it happens.

THH
I think it was definately needed to do that recap because it is so easily forgotten and we can so easily fall back into our old patterns, thats just the brain trying to sustain our old beliefs and patterns in order to protect ourself, it seems we need constant reminders in order to make a complete change...Thank you!

Hmm reading what you wrote about keeping your imagination on a leash something came to me. I got this vision of you using your imagination and creating some kind of art, maybe painting of your fears and the negative imagination stuff or even using crayons...you could even finger paint too and that would be fun....I don't know if that is something you're into or interested in but it could be great for allowing yourself to accept those negative things that come up and have fun in letting them go through creative means....these things come up when we are afraid, when we are fearful but if you make them fun and humerous, how can they stay the way they were? Its kind of like what they teach about using humor in the obsessive thinking lesson. What if pigs could fly...well what if they could fly after they are turned into bacon or pork roast? they could have wings and fly right into our mouths :P lol what?!?

Yeah that was a really great example, and I'm really glad that I had decided to watch that movie, it was really inspiring and I definately have to make a picture message out of that one and maybe other parts of the movie. I might even watch this just before facing some of my fears.


ForeverYoung
You are definately not the only person who has fallen behind, it seems like all of us have fallen behind and thats ok...it may not feel alright because we did strayed away from our goals and what we need to do to progress (or at least some of the things we need to do to progress) but we are seeing this and out of seeing this we can make changes.

Do you know why you were not able to build yourself up to the point that you felt ready to face these fears or why you have gotten lax on your journaling, exercise and eating? Do you know why you are feeling overwhelmed?



Here is a picture quote that works really well for changing our thought patterns on what-if thinking...and I love using these pictures because they are very positive focused and empowering without focusing on a problem
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Mike

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by THH » Thu Jan 02, 2014 7:56 pm

Today was a day I noticed often things that made me anger, or frustrated. I made an effort to see why...track down where these thoughts came from. A ton of expectations!
We are getting a snow storm, and I have been stuck in the house for 2 days. So I went out with my husband. I normally drive everywhere myself, but I was a passenger. I was like a old mother hen, picking at his driving, warning him someone was turning, ect. I realized what I was doing, being controlling expecting him to drive like me. It was good that I was able to sit there and have a conversation after I quit thinking out loud, or acting like he never drove a truck!
I also had my patience tried as it took so long, the roads were bad. I made my correction that I wanted to go out and what did I expect in a snow storm. :D

So I settled down, and was proud that I recognized these and other things today.

Mike it is so funny you mentioned painting as today I bought a gallon of paint to paint my cupboards!
I need a project to keep me busy with this cold, snowy weather.
I do like to paint. I have a door in my kitchen that I think I am going to draw a tree on and paint it! You must have esp or something????
That also is a good idea to paint my fears, rather than just go to the fear zone to actually link something to the fear may very well be helpful. You really are a very creative kind of person!
Do you paint? or draw?

Forever Young
Yes. We buy our own insurance. We have a high dect. plan. Our policy actually renewed Nov.1 and this is the last year we can have this plan. Next year we have to go into the exchange program. I would have looked into it this year but bad timing. The site was down and the gov. was shut down. I stuck with what I knew even though we had to pay more for it. This will give me a year to look at this exchange plans and see what we want.
Don't feel bad about being behind. We will catch up it just a hectic time of the year. I been taking my dogs out for a short walk so I'm slowly getting back to my normal routine. I still have not done my lesson this week. I'm going to listen to my audio tonight.

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:46 pm

THH;
Sounds like a great practice opportunity...I love how those things just automatically happen like that and its great that you saw what was going on. Great job!

And to be completely honest, I am very intuitive and I do get these things from time to time...I have shocked a few people with some of the stuff I've told them, it's usually stuff like this...don't worry, I don't know all of your deepest darkest secrets, it doesn't work that way! I think it would be very great for you and it can also help you to come up with new goals and ideas that can make your life even more exciting!

I am more creative now...and actually did you know that the intuition is actually fed by creativity? I used to draw but haven't for a long time and I do some painting but its not anything very complex, usually just 1-4 different colors per whatever i'm working on. My art is more of collecting pictures and gluing them on black paper at the moment...however, I have a more creative project to be done in the future that will have me drawing and maybe painting. I'm going to be creating a tarot-like deck of cards but its going to be a bit different than the other ones that are out there.


Mike

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by THH » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:44 pm

Mike,
:)
LOL... That's funny about the deep and darkest secrets! It is a great suggestion though and I will give this a try.

I also believe that we are pretty intuitive. I am at times as well. Others though I am not even close. :mrgreen:
I like your taste in pictures and you seam to pick the right things for each lesson. Speaking of lessons, I have not done mine yet. :o
I think it would be good to start this again on Monday. Maybe Forever and Maple lane will catch up too. What if is way to good to skip. Do you mind?
We are getting snow and cold here and another big storm is coming Sunday. I am doing well at staying in the moment, not choosing to worry and what if over it. It has been hard as this is what I would normally do. Instead I am choosing the approach that this is winter and I can only do what I can do at the time I need to do it.
This has helped me stay calm ( r ) LOL...

Hope everyone is doing well!

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:04 pm

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I went through the workbook and a few things really resonated with me.

They said in the book that depressed people anticipate the situation with negative and scary results and how that creates tremendous anxiety...often that is a memory reaction. It reminds me of what someone said in the tapes (This is a memory of how we use to do things we don't do anymore). That is very important to me, I think keeping this in mind will help to separate my belief that my thought is true from it being just a thought.

Other useful things I found...are the suggestions to practice on a day you are feeling good, give yourself permission to feel anxious and in social situations set up "outs" so you are in control of your comings and goings...they also mention to do things slowly as well as dealing with body symptoms right away instead of letting them build (a good reminder because I kind of fell back on that one) and most important beware of perfectionism.


I wrote through the limitations that I have and I realized today that one of the most controllable and easy to work with limitations is when i'm looking in the mirror and listening to positive music and focusing on the positive aspects of myself and loving myself is a limitation...kind of like when people look in the mirror and say affirmations to themselves. Alot of negative thoughts come up but the beauty of it is I'm completely in control and I can stop (which I did) and write through the thoughts that were coming up and then go back to trying again. I also did a bit of curb jumping with my eyes closed again....that produces a very small bit of anxiety and fear which is perfect for beginning to face fear. I've also started to do the walking with mindfulness and being aware of my surroundings again...5 minutes a day to start and after a week i'll up it to 10 minutes and slowly build up. I was really negatively anticipating this part of the program but doing the smaller stuff isn't too bad...to be honest though, i'm still anticipating the larger stuff but i'm hopeful that I'll be more confident by then from the momentum built up from doing the steps that are below it.

Oh and lastly the part in the action assignment of visualizing going through the limitations calmly and relaxed sounded pretty good and was also something I had already planned to do...cool that they suggest it here too.

THH
We all have the intuitive gift, its just not something thats talked about or encouraged in society so people tend to bury it...I grew up a different way from most people and had to rely on myself and in many cases I had no answers and had to rely on my intuition because I had no other way so through that I developed it...although I hadn't fully trusted it and i'm still working on that. What did you mean others though you aren't even close?

Thank you, I had many of these on my computer already and some I had to search for. I actually spent a good 6-8 months if not longer collecting pictures.

Yeah we can stay on this lesson for another week for sure...the christmas season does make it hard for people to do the program. Also when we go through the program again, we will make certain lessons 2 weeks long...it just feels too rushed when we give certain lessons only 1 week.

Great job on switching to more healthy and calming thoughts.


Mike

Ninjafrodo2
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part 8

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:41 pm

I also wanted to mention an idea came to my mind...when facing limitations to avoid perfectionism and to promote positive and accomplished feelings, it would be good to set a healthy expectation when it comes to facing the limitation as well as having an intention or the outcome you are striving for....so a healthy expectation would be simply trying but having the intention of accomplishing the small step.

ie. Lets say going on a bus by yourself and being able to be comfortable on it is your ultimate goal. You are starting off at the beginning of facing the goal so maybe you may want to start off just going to the bus stop without getting on the bus...that is your beginning smaller goal and your intention for the day and your desired goal. The expectation however is you putting effort into achieving that goal...so maybe you want to go to the bus stop today but all you did was get prepared and you walked half way to the bus stop and had to turn back and walk home because you got scared and overwhelmed...you may not have fulfilled the intention but you still fulfilled the expectation and really anything that leads you in that direction of facing it is in fact an accomplishment. This is setting yourself up to easily succeed and this is what's going to make it easier to reach your bigger goal and its going to help train your mind to naturally think this way so eventually it'll be second nature to have realistic expectations and it'll be more exciting to take on new challenges.

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Mike

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