i learned to anticipate the worst as a child!

[sunshine11]

This topic is what I need the most. After having a horrific abusive childhood, I learned to expect the worst. I would do this because I thought if I imagined the worst then I would have some sort of happiness if things didn't turn out badly. I carried this behavior into adulthood. I also did it because I thought if I had positive thoughts for the futrure and it didn't happen; I would feel rejection, disapointment, and failure. I wanted to avoid those feelings at all costs. So I guess it was my protection. My defense mechanism. It is proving to be a very hard habit to break. Any advice?