New Job, now i need new ideas

[rjhamilton]

Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone could help with any suggestions and/or similar experiences on how to ease the social situations when entering a new job and being the "new guy". I'm 20 years old and just started a new job at a plastics company after dropping out of college due to my panic with meeting new people and depression. I'm having trouble adjusting to small talk and concentrating when I am being taught new things. I feel very inadequate but I do my best to drop those thoughts and concentrate on the job at hand. I am very worried about a lot of little things but I just go on like nothing happened, like when I mess up or don't understand them. I ask questions and I am assertive when I feel I can speak but I really just feel constant nervousness and I believe they really see past my big ego. I've been there 4 days now and feel i'm adjusting slightly yet I believe a lot of the people I work with think I am spacey, bashful and incompetent of the position . I know I can do the job but I'm just constantly nervous of what people think of me and if I really can keep the concentration to fill the position. Please let me know what you think and offer anything that you think may help point me in a right direction. Thanks a bunch!

[CautiousKat]

Hi rj -- It's been a few days since you post, and I hope things are going better for you at work. I think it is totally normal to feel inadequate and stressed when you are learning something new. You need to allow yourself to feel that way until you get accustomed to the new job. It's absolutely normal to feel that way in a new job, even if you don't have anxiety. I think the biggest problem with people with anxiety (including myself) is putting too much emphasis on what other people are thinking of us. I have found that people are usually too busy being wrapped up in themselves to focus on us. Maybe try to reach out to them with a compliment or by asking about them. People usually love to talk about themselves. Even though I have social anxiety, people usually like to talk to me because I am a good listener. I just don't like to talk about myself You deserve to be at that job as much as anyone else there, and you are DEFINITELY good enough. Remember that and hold you head high! Check back here and let us know how it is going! Take care!

Kathy

[rjhamilton]

Thank you so much! It's great knowing others are there to help you through this. Your words are greatly appreciated and I'm feeling much better since the last post . I am continuing to keep up those positive thoughts and surprisingly i'm opening up to people. I started to ask my coworkers questions about their own weekend and they gladly told me, haha now I need to find the comfort to talk about my weekend. It's all rather nerve racking but like you said: everyone starting a new job is nervous. Finally the nerves are calming down a bit and I can find the concentration to do the work, which I found very difficult to believe at the beginning. I'm not focusing so much on people reactions now and I feel so much better. Thanks for the encouragement and care!!

[missobsessive]

Hi rj. I see this post was from a while ago but I was wondering how you've been? I was having a similar experience with my job. I was having pretty intense anxiety about whether or not I was doing a good enough job, etc. I felt like everyone could tell that I was freaking out on the inside, I was convincing myself that I wasn't doing well enough, bla bla blah. My anxiety was always something I didn't tell very many ppl about. Then after hearing Lucinda suggest to tell ppl about it, I mustered up the courage to tell my coworker that I have some issues with anxiety. She came back and said "oh I had no idea, you're doing fine"!

Just thought I'd share that with you since you were worried about what others thought. They moat likely can't even tell what you may be feeling on the inside just like my situation. I try to remember the part in the workbook that says to find the humor and says, "you may feel weird, but you don't LOOK weird"

Hope you're doing well

[rjhamilton]

Hey thanks for the story. I actually had a similar experience a while ago when I told one of my coworkers that I had anxiety issues. Surprisingly he came back with some very heartfelt statements. It was nice to hear someone encourage me instead of myself. Ever since we have been on better terms. I'm still having difficulties but am still receiving help and learning to come back from setbacks. I've pretty much learned how to cope with the anxiety but my depression has really taken a tole on me recently. I'm thinking about doing the program again once I finish this social anxiety booklet. Hopefully I can find some new ways to cope with the depression the 2nd time around.