Disagree with what ifs

[theresalasalle]

The things that made me anxious are not what if thinking, the things that made me anxious and negative and afraid Really happened to me. they are not what ifs. So i don't necessarily agree with this. The negative thinking came from the negative experiences, not the other way around.........

[ladyjeweler]

Are you having scary thoughts then? I've had obessive and scary thoughts since I was a kid and I skipped ahead and read the workbook section on Obessive, Scary Thoughts. It help me pinpoint why and what I was trying to avoid by having them.
I don't know what to say accept to try being less affected by the negative experiences if possible.

[peony]

Hi Theresa,

I too have had bad experiences where actual bad things happened to me. Which is why I often have "what ifs" about situations where those things might happen again. Is this what you mean? For example: I had some powerful person at work who I know was trashing me behind my back. It seems that often there has been someone like that around, in the past. Because of these bad experiences I am scared of future social group interactions. It always happened in groups. I cant let the past make me afraid of the future. I need to face my fears and go ahead (with the new skills) and deal with my present moment.

Does this help?

[perspectivegirl]

Hi Theresa, I experienced a lot of that in my life as well. I was thinking to myself, "Wait, these things actually happened.. they're not What If's." Then I talked to my mother, who also went through the program, and she really helped me out. I started saying, "What if- that never happens again? What if- I'm totally fine?". and that put my thinking on the right track. Hope it helps!