will someone please respond!

angelkeys · Post by **angelkeys** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:56 pm

I have written questions and haven't gotten any replies. Lately, I've had some good days and have really been progressing, but my bad thoughts that I try to give no meaning to seem to be getting worse and worse! I'm in college and my negative thoughts were, not being able to make it through college because friends I know have either quit or had nervous breakdowns (not all of them). Well, I got over that negative thought and moved on to another one...(well actually it just popped up in my head),obsessing about relationships. After I finished with that, I started thinking about how my life would be if I married an abusive husband and got into drugs and went to jail,(stupid I know, because I don't even do drugs, although I used to very heavely). It seems that the thoughts keep getting worse even after I analyze them and realize they are not true another thought even worse comes along. Now after seeing that Micheal Jackson special about his wierd behaviors I thought to myself...that's it I'm going to end up like that I'm going crazy!

But I feel and look so normal on the outside I think maybe I'm scared to feel normal? My latest scary thought that has stuck with me for a while now is hurting people. I have that thought of that woman that killed all her kids in my head 24/7!! I don't even have any kids I'm only 18! But I think I will end up doing that to someone and I can't even talk to anyone without that being in my head and wondering when it will happen.I have this wierd feeling that stays with me through out the day like something bad is going to happen very soon if I don't do anything about it! I know people have written about these scary thoughts, but I feel that they don't have it as bad as me! Just a few months ago I was doing great from the program.I learned how to control my thoughts so I thought. Why do things have to be this way?!?

Please help
angelkeys

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 2:17 pm

angelkeys,

I've been through the very same thing as you with the scary thoughts. Hurting people isn't something I wanted to do. I was afraid I would lose control and do something outside of my own control. I mean think about it, if you have anxiety and symptoms that you don't understand and are out of your control, you start to question yourself about what else you might not have control over. This brings on more anxiety and it starts a vicious cycle that seems to never end. Obsessive thoughts like hurting people or going crazy/losing one's mind tends to increase during stressful times and/or times when you lack sleep. It's much easier to combat those thoughts after having good rest and a good sleep routine.

You seem to be questioning yourself and your thoughts alot. This will also create more stress and feed your anxiety and scary thoughts.
When you catch yourself analyzing yourself and your thoughts and questioning yourself, STOP yourself and refocus on something else or simply talk to yourself and tell yourself "SO WHAT!!"..."IM NOT LOSING MY MIND"....."I AM TIRED AND NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF"....

Take time to focus on those things around you in your PRESENT MOMENT. Look at detail, like color, smells, etc.....

You can always pick up your notebook and write your negative scary thoughts down and write a replacement thought that is truthful in it's place. Do this when you are having a tough time.
It will help get you into a good habit of having a good comeback when your negative thoughts pop in for a visit. Sometimes they catch us off guard and it's important for us to know what to say back to them.

You may consider reading some of Claire Weekes books. She addresses this issue and it makes alot of sense.

You'll be OK.

A person that truly loses their mind, doesn't know they have lost it!!!! So you can have comfort knowing that if you do "lose it", you won't know about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 4:15 pm

Anglekeys,

It will help a lot to begin focusing on your body sensations and get out of your thinking mind. You are not your thoughts. Feel where the sensations and tension are in your body. Keep your attention on that. When thoughts come in, leave them in midair and bring yourself back to the sensations you are experiencing. Do this over and over and over again. Eventually you will be with the feelings more then the thoughts. The feelings will begin to lessen. You are resisting the feelings and thoughts. You need to practice allowing. Right attention is awareness of them. Wrong attention is involvement. Be the watcher of what you experience. Just notice what is going on inside of you. Keep your attention on this. Don't try to push thoughts away. Just leave them where they are and go to the body.

Keep practicing. With perseverence you'll see a difference.

Bon

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 4:27 pm

angelkeys,

I put up a post a while back on obsessive scary thoughts and thought perhaps it would be able to help you out. Here is the link <A HREF="http://bbs.stresscenter.com/cgi-bin/ubb ... 1;t=000387" TARGET=_blank>Doylie's Chunck Of OCD info</A> I hope this can be of some help. Take good care!

Doyle

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 20, 2003 4:09 am

Thanks for the help guys! It feels like the weight of the world is taken off my sholders when I hear your responses, although it still takes time with this condition. The thing I'm having a really big problem with is letting the thoughts just flow out. I've realized that when I have a problem about something that is going on in my life it doesn't seem to be clear to me until these until these obsessive violet thoughts come and I realize I don't want to do that,so then slowly the real problem that I'm truely having problems with...[example(not being able to pass a class]will show up and I get through it easier. Can you guys relate? I'ts kinda hard for me to explain things. I just don't understand why I can't just deal with these simple problems and move on!Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

angelkeys

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:21 am

you need to STOP trying to think about these thoughts. You more you fight them, the more they will come to you. Just let them be there, as scary as they are, invite them in. Once you do this, you are telling your mind that you are not scared and the anxiety will not be able to feed of them. Scary thought are just a release for anxiety when you are stressed. Stop trying to fight it. Just let it be and it will go away... visit <A HREF="http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk" TARGET=_blank>www.anxietynomore.co.uk</A> this will explain it all!

Hope this helps! you are NOT going mad!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:48 pm

Angel,
I have had these same experiences in my past and have controlled them by realizing that they are only thoughts and negative. I will not act on obssesive negative thoughts because I realize from the program and common sense that " hey their my thoughts ,and only thoughts , and I don't want these scary negative thoughts and crap in my life. But I can have these ideas because I'm human and imperfect and worried or affraid of something to cause these negative thoughts , only thoughts."
I refuse to take them seriously. POOF ! Back to the present I go. Moving away from this negativity to something positive , any thing in the positive present moment.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:02 pm

Angel,
Just a second note to finish my thought. I think it is in chapter 3 where a gentleman named, Ken ,talks about breaking up those negative thoughts with anything that you need to in order to eliminate them. Destroy or ignore them another words. Eventually , you will replace them with something positve when you get around to finding the right replacement thought . Please remember thoughts only thoughts and you do know the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. Picture yourself flushing them down the toilet .