A perimenopausal woman finding her way

[littlehummingbird]

I just started Session 8 and find myself struggling far more with this "what if" thinking at 49 then I did 15 years a go when I did the program originally. So much has changed in my life and I got through so much tough stuff like my breast cancer, moving out of state, the death of my sister in law to breast cancer at 36, adopting our son 7 wonderful years ago and much, much more! What has brought on this recent return to anxiety and depression is a very rough go round with perimenopause. You name the symptom, I have it! And I have trouble distinguishing sometimes what is a panicky episode and what is a hot flash...agh!!! I have made some great strides though and I know it is a process that might take me a bit longer to get a handle on. I would love to see Lucinda branch out and offer a program to help women cope with all the body symptoms and mental and physical changes that go on during this time period. Matter of fact, I am considering doing this myself since I find so many mid life women like me are really looking for alternative help. A WONDERFUL program that is helping me so much in addition to Lucinda's is Jon Kabat Zinn's Mindfulness 8 week CD program. It is just that extra "thing" that I find helps to keep people like myself anchored more in the present. Sometimes i do not think it is so important to figure out why we are feeling anxious, but just to "feel it" and not over analyze the whys and his program helps to do just that. I am still finding my way, very emotional ride for me and I thank Lucinda for helping in so many ways!!!!

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Hummingbird- Wow, you have gone through a lot. Yes, I agree, when Lucinda made these tapes/CDs, she was young. We need more advice from Menopausal women and women like yourself. I can't tell what I'm feeling, partly could be lack of hormones or coming down from them. My Psychiatrist suggested that is could be my hormones, but I've been afraid to replace them because I felt so energized when I first started to or weird that I didn't know what is making me feel so strange.

Now I'm ready to start my HRT pills and due to menopause or anxiety I can't remember where they are! LOL! So I want to be sure to try them again and see what happens before I feel I need to go on anti-depressants which I'm off of now for over a year.
I do have issues with my family life, which is part of Empty Next syndrome and such, basically, getting older and accepting changes.

So it is just adjusting to all these things that are hard and hardly know which Dr to go see and w/o insurance I hesitate...we're self employed and we're looking for a new insurance provider, but they just don't have much benefit. Paislee

[littlehummingbird]

Hi Paislee...TOO funny on the memory thing!!! That is half the problem....trying to remember stuff is hard at this phase. I do know that it is nice to come back to the program because it helps me to remember and keep things in perspective. There is a GREAT book called The Female Brain by a neuropsychiatrist out in California who runs a hormone clinic for women....it is fantastic. What it provided for me was a clear understanding of what is going on in the brain and how the hormones effect us almost our entire lives. Another book that is great is The Wisdom of Menopause...by Christiane Northrup. She can be a tad "new agey" but all in all her advice and perspective on this time of our life is spot on. Take care and good luck with HRT! It does offer relief to a lot of women.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Hummingbird-Thanks for the books recommended, I'm familiar with Northrup's but not the other. I went through an experience the other day, my geek son had changed my settings or did something with my computer or he did it on a Server, not sure. He put lol when I went to AOL to sign in and then did the same for FB. I was very upset and distraught! He sleeps during the night, so finally when he woke up I told him I wanted it changed back, but in the meantime, I just wept, why can't this son leave me alone when I'm finding "happiness" or having a good time socializing online or with people. It is enough to struggle w/o the hormones or anti depressants or whatever use to help me remain calm and not have anxious feelings, and then to add to my troubles by doing something like that. Then I tell hubby and he says he knows nothing about it, but then later I see him again after working and tell him that DS has not changed my computer settings.

He still replies I know nothing about it...so I show him my computer...then he goes...well, I guess it was funny at 4:00AM. I told him, "It is not funny." Then after that he still does nothing until I asserted myself to have him talk to this son. So he texts him...DS is in our backyard working on a self imposed project. Then I hear noise, assume he took care of the computer.

Then later DH checks it and returns to tell me that the computer controls have been changed. Then comes back to tell me that I now can have my "happiness". Ugh! Its things like this that gives me anxiety! But I handled it so much better than a year ago when DS did worse things or said disrespectful things, as well as DH. So I've come a long way without hormones and anti-depressants. So I figure, I have felt these feelings while on anti-depressants and normal hormones, so there has got to be something in my nervous system or thinking or personality or upbringing that causes some of these problems.

I know that I do better when I'm social and active, and when people in my life thwart those activities, it does bring on all kinds of feelings. B/C in the past I have solved anxiety issues or depression by activity, sunshine, eating right and social contact. I do have a female brain! LOL! Paislee

[littlehummingbird]

Hey again: I think it is great that you know what works best for you Paislee! Not easy with kids/teens, never is.....meditate if you can, it truly helps!!!

[LyndaLu]

What it provided for me was a clear understanding of what is going on in the brain and how the hormones effect us almost our entire lives.

I am glad that someone finally said this ! And I believe it to be totaly true. Hormones effect us almost our

entire lives ! I already went through perimenopause and am in full-blown menopause now. I am not taking

hormones, not really interested in taking any MORE pills and I don't have the hot flashes.

Thanks for all of the book recommendations, I will put them on my reading list.

Again, thanks for all of the insights.

Lynda

[ninadancer]

I can relate to perimenopause and the symptoms of anxiety and panic it brings with it! Sometimes it really IS hard to tell the difference between the panic disorder and the hormonal fluctuations! I found a wonderful book I'd like to tell you about...Its called Menopause Sucks by Joanne Kimes. Its a hilarious book, but also very informative. Blessings! Nina

[LyndaLu]

Nina
Thanks for the book recommendation !
Lynda

[LyndaLu]

I never know if I am experiencing hormone changes or if I am experiencing the anxiety / depression !

Are they all happening at the same time . I was extremely emotional last night and I did not

know why, I was having a crying jag before I went to bed. Well, this may be TMI , but I started my

period today. Until two months ago I thought I was already in full blown menopause, until out of

no where I had my period in late March. Now it is happening again. So, I am not officially going

through menopause, but I am "perimenopausal" ? It is so confusing .

Lynda