Fear of encountering harrasser

fightback76 · Post by **fightback76** » Fri May 30, 2008 4:20 pm

I had a rough time this year dealing with a stalker. He harrassed me at my workplace, until I had to send him a very severe letter warning him not to pursue any further contact.

Problem is, I must attend an event where he will be tomorrow. At times, I still feel really angry at him. Other times I am able to let it go, and know that I am above revenge-seeking behaviour. Still though, sometimes I feel he did not get as much of my anger as I have felt.

Is there any point in yelling at him or publically humiliating him if he tries to confront me? I don't even know if I am comfortable being civil with him if I see him. I don't feel he deserves that. He really crossed the line and I don't want to show him any respect. Will I just look like the fool if I dismiss him? Or would I be foolish to act civil when inside I feel like screaming at him?

I have so many mixed feelings, any advice would help.

By the way, he is someone I met through a shared sport - I never gave him my phone number, even though he asked, I never accepted ANY of his many social invitations, and he felt I owed him something. I was always just courteous to him and professional, and he was upset that I didn't want more.

Since sending my letter, I have not heard anything for two months, which could be good, but also could be like a time bomb waiting to go off next time he sees me. I have seen this delayed anger reaction before from him.

What should I do, to help me move forward and let go of my anger towards him, and the fact that he still exists in my community, and can walk around with his head held high as if he is a good person? I don't want to give him this much attention!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 30, 2008 7:54 pm

Don't look at him or make eye contact. Don't acknowledge him at all. Put on a happy face and enjoy yourself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 30, 2008 11:43 pm

Thanks girls, it's good to have your input. I do think if I can ignore him and be happy that would be the best scenario...I'll let you know later how it goes...I can do this!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 31, 2008 2:31 am

Do you have friends at the event that will back you up, if so use them as support. Let them know before hand how uncomfortable you feel and that if he shows up and confronts you, you will not interact with him. You don't owe him anything. Good for you on boundaries.