Stress Center Peer Support

Here I go again. The what ifs on my driving is really getting tough. I am once again doubting my abilities to drive and second guessing myself. It is getting so hard.

I went to baseball with my kids this evening. Backed into parking space so that I make sure I am able to see properly pulling out. There are so many little ones running around. Last night my eldest son walked behind a backing car at the baseball field and it scared me.

Left the park and had a big pick truck follow me from the ball park most of my journey home - right on my tail the whole time. It looked like he was ready to pass me at times. Seemed very impatient although I was driving within the speed limit.

I could begin to feel the little rise in anxiety level. Kept using self talk all the way home. It's no big deal, its ok, I;m ok. etc.

When it came to take a left onto side street , I had made sure to put my indicator on looked up in rear view mirror to see distance he was to me from behind, and I pulled across. then I heard a long beep on the horn. I thought Oh my God, did I not even look for what;'s coming against me, as the road has a slight bend on it. This has been the sight of many accidents.

I completely panicked, worried if I just taken the left against oncoming traffic and neraly caused an accident. Was I so preoccupied with this driver that I never looked. I thought I the all clear, maybe I didn't.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach as my children were in the car.

I know, thank God, nothing happended but I have myself absolutley sick with worry over what if I wasn't paying attention.

When I go out to drive now I feel the grip of fear and all the what if crazy scenarios flood through me. I can;t give up driving because where I live in the suburbs you have to drive everywhere.

Last night at the ball field, I had pulled into a parking space and when the game had ended I sat there a full 5 minutes before I could back out, in fear that I would not be able to see any youngsters, when I was backing. My son kept asking why can't we leave mom.

My husband was in a serious MVA 2 weeks ago, down the street from our home, thank God, he is ok but I know my fear of driving has intensified since his accident. I have purchased Carolyn's driving tape and I have listened to it many times.

I have overcome so much with the hel;p of this program. I am out more and feeling more confident in my abilities as a person and as a mother. It's just the driving thing has me freaked out.

Has anyone else experienced this or anything similar? Does anyone have any recommendations for me. I am feeling like a failure that I can't just drive to and from without always having a problem.

I am telling myself even if I turn against traffic because I was feelign anxious, nothing happened, where all ok. There was no accident. But that negative voice in my head is telling me to stay off the roads, I'm a menace behind the wheel, you can;t drive you have anxiety disorder, what if you have a panic attack driving with your kids and the next time we're not so lucky.

I'm trying to be my own safe person and comfort myself through this. Yet here I am reaching out because I am having difficulty comforting myself.

Sorry for the length of this post. I do actually feel a little better just writing. Thank you all for listening. I am determined to beat this ang I will. Take care and God Bless.

I have a really hard time driving. I always make excuses why I can't drive. I was driving when I had my first panic attack 10 yrs ago. So driving has been hard. I start to feel dizzy and feel like I can't pay attention to the road. I tend to speed up when I am having an anxiety attack while driving, kinda scarey with my kids in the car. Sometimes aiming the A/C at my face full blast helps. It sounds like you won't allow yourself to quit, thats awesome. This is mostly the reason I bought this program to help me get back on the road. What is the driving tape? Does it help? Hang in there, and keep forcing yourself to drive.

Hello BMLAW
Thanks for the reply. It helps to know that I'm not the only one with driving issues. I had to go out today and do errands. I drove on the expressway and on the local streets all the while telling myself I am a good and competent driver. i even drove on the same street where I had my what if moment from yesterday evening. I played session 3 self talk the whole time. I refuse to be beaten by this fear of driving. I went through my workbook last night and concentrated on the section 2 panic attacks and 3 negative self talk. I really need to work on relaxation tape. I told myself over and over again nothing happended and we were all ok. If I did turn against oncoming traffic and did not see it I refuse to beat myself up over it any more. It's was a mistake and as they say in the workbok its a learning experience.

Carolyn's driving tape is about how she over came her fear of driving. It's not the act of driving, its what your telling yourself when you are driving. I have found it helpful. I have also started reading dale carnegie's how to overcome worry. He mentions living in day tight compartments-where you live each day till bedtime. When the day is over you put it in the container and move forward, not looking back. I just started this concept of living day tight compartmnets so wish me luck.

I wish you much suceess in recovery. take care and God Bless,