Horrible all-consuming anticipation

cole2458 · Post by **cole2458** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:15 am

I am 19 and agoraphobic. I had to be homeschooled the end of my senior year of high school and then took online classes for my first year of college. My mom and my therapist think that I am ready to start GOING to campus (just community college) for classes, but I'm not so sure. I've signed up and class starts in a week and a half. I've been so nervous that I can barely sleep and when I do, I have nightmares about all the reasons I stopped going to school in the first place (i have a lot of health problems and would get sick at school, because of this i was bullied, etc). Even though everyone tells me that this will be completely different because it's a different environment (public college as opposed to a catholic all girls high school) and new people and all, I am so afraid that it will be the same. Mostly, because I feel like I am the same. I still have the same fears and even more now than I did the last time I was at school. The what-if's are taking over and I'm not sure how to stop them. It's all I think about all day and night and I feel sick about it! Help?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:49 am

I know what it's like to be anxious about something in the future you are dreading. Although I have learned this just makes it worse and when you actually get through it is never as bad as you had worried or expected. That sometimes doesn't make it easier to stop dwelling on it , but try. I agree that college is alot different than high school. I went to catholic high school as well although it was girls and boys. All you can do is give it a try if it is terrible you can always go back to online classes. Or even try a different college. I bet it will be so much better than you are worring that it will be. I know it is scary but try to set a goal , say two weeks and give it a real chance. You might even like it. Use the skills you are learning and try to turn your anxiety into excitement.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:15 am

To start with, I'd say you should give yourself a pat on the back for going back to school when it is a very scary thing to do. You are talking back to your agoraphobia and telling yourself you can do it. Naturally, you are going to have a lot of anxious feelings beforehand, so don't be too hard on yourself about it. Just know that you can get through it. Sometimes you have to give yourself kudos for each positive step and take the bad days with the good.
The tricky thing about anxiety is that it lies to you and tells you that you can't do certain things. Agoraphobia can take over. But the truth is you can do them. It just takes a lot of time to face the anxiety and work through it. I truly wish you the best. I am by no means cured and still struggles with all kinds of anxious feelings. I hope that we both improve as time goes on. Good luck with school! All the best, Candice