anxiety is hurting my relationship
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angela chriss
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:25 am
lately i been feeling like i talking more and more about my anxiety.. and my boyfriend seems like im bugging him.. he hasnt completly learn how to deal with it, but hes been trying, and now i feel like hes tired of hearing the samething over and over. he says hes constantly repeatng himself,, "ur fine, ur not gonna die, take a deep breathe, ur safe' that helps me, but i always call him, to help me, and hes always busy at work..he helps me, but once im fine, then hes like " u ok, ok, i gotta go now" maybe he is NOT my support system for this, is that a good thing or not..he doesnt mind me going to him, he just gets upset, that i dont practice my own techniques, and know that I am my safe place, not him, he gets frustrated that im not doing my own techniques, im scared im pushing him away from me.
"when u know better, u do better"
This is a good one to tackle.
The people closest to us will make things easier for us sometimes, and the problem becomes that even when they start to understand they get aggravated that this is happening to you, not always aggravated at you!
Something that might be of use is to try telling them how much you care and love them for being there and being so supportive. Tell him you are trying your techniques but it takes time. He would like to see you be able to go places and do things and not be in pain. There are lots of things that could be going through his head.
Ask him if he wants space so you can focus on YOU. And try to challenge yourself without him being there. Sounds almost impossible to some people but you can do it!
As anxious people that we are we tend to be needy and somewhat selfish. Thats ok cause how can you maintain a relationship if can't maintain your own life?
If he is not comfortable being the support anymore, then maybe this is the time for your change. It might not be the thing you want to hear, but in the end when you can depend on YOU. You will be able to devote yourself to the relationship and not have to worry about pushing anyone away, plus it might make the relationship a bit stronger.
But open communication will be the key here!
The people closest to us will make things easier for us sometimes, and the problem becomes that even when they start to understand they get aggravated that this is happening to you, not always aggravated at you!
Something that might be of use is to try telling them how much you care and love them for being there and being so supportive. Tell him you are trying your techniques but it takes time. He would like to see you be able to go places and do things and not be in pain. There are lots of things that could be going through his head.
Ask him if he wants space so you can focus on YOU. And try to challenge yourself without him being there. Sounds almost impossible to some people but you can do it!
As anxious people that we are we tend to be needy and somewhat selfish. Thats ok cause how can you maintain a relationship if can't maintain your own life?
If he is not comfortable being the support anymore, then maybe this is the time for your change. It might not be the thing you want to hear, but in the end when you can depend on YOU. You will be able to devote yourself to the relationship and not have to worry about pushing anyone away, plus it might make the relationship a bit stronger.
But open communication will be the key here!
Your never alone, if you felt it so did someone else in the world at the same time!