I think I need a pity party every once and a while

bna · Post by **bna** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:34 am

My stress level has been through the roof the last 4weeks. I had been handling well up until just this past weekend. The kids and I have been sick, there has been stuff going on at home, pest control problem, one of my son was bit by the family dog, and my husband's company just had a big lay off. They are in real estate business which as we all know is not doing well due to the ecomony.

Just coming back from the pediatrician's office after taking 2 of my 3 kids to the doctor, when I start with the what if thoughts about an incident driving. A pedestrian went to cross in the cross walk and I had stopped a good distance back probably 2 car lenghts back, with traffic behind me.

When I realized I had stopped so far back, I began to inch forward with my foot on the brake. The whole time knowing I was in control and knowing everyone was safe in my car and the pedestrian. Even when the pedestrian was in the middle of the road, I still continued to inch forward because I was so far back.

Then the panicky feeling began to hit me, What the heck was I doing, what if I hit the gas and ran him over, what if the car sped forward because we had been inching forward. I began to beat myself beyond belief. I was an absolute wreak.

It didn't help that my kids were fighting with each other and I was feeling absoluetly frazzled over the whole thing.

I came home and called my husband who gave me the stern talk that I need to be able to rationalize this for myself and why aren't I using my skills.

This program has helped my anxiety tremendously. What I'm finding is that going through increased stress levels, I'm really good using my skills, but it's when things are beginning to level out, I beging searching for things to obessess and worry about.

My psychologist tells me that's when I should start telling myself that things are ok. That I have gone through the worst of it and that I need to be reassuring myself that this is a signal that things are resolving.

Maybe I just need to give myself permisson to have a pity party every once and awile, for just a few mintues, and then let it go. I think I'm being selfish and counterproductive to allow myself to do so. But by not acknowledging myself, even the negative junk, am I setting myself up for even more negativity and obessive thinking?

If anyone can relate or has a thought or suggestion. I would appreciate hearing from you. Thanks. Take care and God Bless.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:22 am

Hi! You know, we can all give ourselves permission to have those moments. My mother died earlier this year. Yesterday would have been her 80th birthday. I woke up at 4 am yesterday, so sad I couldn't think. I got up and built a nice big warm fire, then sat with my sadness for awhile. It was okay. You can do this. I can do this. We are, as your psychologist tells you, OKAY! Kindest regards.

missgsr · Post by **missgsr** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:38 am

I think allowing yourself to release emotion is absolutely necessary.

When I hold things in, It makes me feel even worse!

Go ahead. Cry. Pout. Do what you need to do to get it out and then move on. It's okay.

goodwillchic · Post by **goodwillchic** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:33 am

I agree with Pecos and missgsr, this program isn't really about stopping ourselves from feeling anxiety but about letting it pass instead of grabbing hold and obsessing.

I worry when I drive too. I also find that I am easily angered by inconsiderate drivers. I drive a dinky 74 VW bug that doesn't have any safety features besides seat belts. I hate it when people cut me off or tailgate me. Don't they see that I'm driving an old a$$ car and can't move around as quickly as they can?? Sometimes I yell things to myself or mutter calling the other drivers names. I'm getting better but I still have to remind myself 5 miles down the road to let go of that guy who cut me off 5 miles ago. It's an uphill battle for us. We just have to keep at it

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:30 am

I can relate to many things you were dealing with today..esp. the rude drivers and I too tell them off ( to myself of course ). You know I have done a lot of thinking and people who don't suffer from anxiety, panic and depression have their times of just letting go, crying, yelling. being upset at the actions of others and getting angry about things that bug them so being we are all human why isn't it okay to have human emotions when we feel them. We are learning to better deal with our over reactions and changing our negative thoughts to positives and to like ourselves and respect ourselves and that's all great but the fact remains that we will still have human emotions that need to be released and as long as we don't do harm to anyone isn't it best let out if it makes us feel better??
If we weren't meant to feel all the emotions of laughter, crying, loving, caring, etc.they wouldn't exist within us...am I right?

Did any of that make sense...LOL, not sure it came out the way it was meant.

Hope you have a calmer evening and everyone in your family gets feeling better.

Take Care!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:23 am

I agree with what everybody else says. You definately have to allow yourself to let go of stress and part of that is by venting and that is completely healthy. I wouldn't exactly call it a pity party. Sometimes we just need people to listen to what we have to say and to understand us.

You've had a really rough time with many stressful events and it must be very frustrating for you right now. I think we can all empathize with that feeling when it seems like everything is going wrong.

Mike

Stephanie123 · Post by **Stephanie123** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:55 am

Originally posted by bna:
My stress level has been through the roof the last 4weeks. I had been handling well up until just this past weekend. The kids and I have been sick, there has been stuff going on at home, pest control problem, one of my son was bit by the family dog, and my husband's company just had a big lay off. They are in real estate business which as we all know is not doing well due to the ecomony.

Just coming back from the pediatrician's office after taking 2 of my 3 kids to the doctor, when I start with the what if thoughts about an incident driving. A pedestrian went to cross in the cross walk and I had stopped a good distance back probably 2 car lenghts back, with traffic behind me.

When I realized I had stopped so far back, I began to inch forward with my foot on the brake. The whole time knowing I was in control and knowing everyone was safe in my car and the pedestrian. Even when the pedestrian was in the middle of the road, I still continued to inch forward because I was so far back.

Then the panicky feeling began to hit me, What the heck was I doing, what if I hit the gas and ran him over, what if the car sped forward because we had been inching forward. I began to beat myself beyond belief. I was an absolute wreak.

It didn't help that my kids were fighting with each other and I was feeling absoluetly frazzled over the whole thing.

I came home and called my husband who gave me the stern talk that I need to be able to rationalize this for myself and why aren't I using my skills.

This program has helped my anxiety tremendously. What I'm finding is that going through increased stress levels, I'm really good using my skills, but it's when things are beginning to level out, I beging searching for things to obessess and worry about.

My psychologist tells me that's when I should start telling myself that things are ok. That I have gone through the worst of it and that I need to be reassuring myself that this is a signal that things are resolving.

Maybe I just need to give myself permisson to have a pity party every once and awile, for just a few mintues, and then let it go. I think I'm being selfish and counterproductive to allow myself to do so. But by not acknowledging myself, even the negative junk, am I setting myself up for even more negativity and obessive thinking?

If anyone can relate or has a thought or suggestion. I would appreciate hearing from you. Thanks. Take care and God Bless.

Stephanie123 · Post by **Stephanie123** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:58 am

I can totally relate.When it rains it pours. I have tried to tell myself that god only puts what we can handle on our plate. You have to believe. Its hard but you will find the strength you need.Good luck.

lockdo · Post by **lockdo** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:23 pm

I try to always go with what I feel from the start. It throws you off to keep thinking.

Robert perrette · Post by **Robert perrette** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:38 am

i was censored yesterday,and my post wasnt allowed,i actually after seven weeks needed advice,when all ive done is be supportive to others on here.i think the program is nonsense.the one thing it did was let me find god and pray.good uck with your pity parties people,you need em.