Avoiding Romance

[Lena Hourglass]

From as early as I can remember encountering crushes and flirtatious moments, I don't think I ever had a good emotional handle when it came to mingling with the opposite sex. I still feel like a child when it comes to coping with uncomfortable situations with young men (or old/er ones). And I have often experienced severe panic attacks prior to going on a date. There's no abusive history to provide rational for any of my feelings. I just surround myself with friends and avoid relationships that involve that extra physical element. (Note: I have dwelled on such trivial things as a kiss for weeks into an eternity and forced relationships to end when things have reached a physical level because I couldn't cope with the anxiety that was making me sick.)

The only thing I can find in the program that would apply to such fears would be to address it: but I'm obviously not going to just ask a million guys on dates just to toy with their minds. So getting a date is pretty rare, especially in this town, now what? How can I better address the anxiety instead of just waiting weeks and months for an opportunity?

Anyone know what to do when the anxiety is in response to the behavior of others and not within yourself? I suppose I'm just hoping that someone already has some professional insight of what is going through my mind when such encounters take place. My heart races before I even make a commitment and I can build up anxiety just by anticipating a young man's approach (amazingly, I cannot recall any false alarms - rather, if I sense I'm about to be approached, I usually am dead-right when spotting the target, probably because I've made the fatal eye contact ). Anyway, I feel so ridiculous about this, because, as I said earlier, my fears appear childish.

[Guest]

I think what you may be doing without realizing it is pinning this to a do or die decision. Dating and this is what we are talking about is really no more than getting to know each other. As long as you so not assign anything else to the meaning of the date then you will better understand and less likely panic. Go easy on your self don't freat if you make a mistake, it is how you learn. (it's how I learned)Use the program as a tool for you to utilize just like a shovel to dig a hole.