"What-if" about health issues

Spectrum · Post by **Spectrum** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:32 pm

I am very healthy, but I always worry about health issues and what I would do if I, or someone in my family would get cancer. Every time anyone gets anything or is sick, I think it is cancer. Does anyone else deal with this or know what to do? Thanks.

bna · Post by **bna** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:54 pm

Oh my gosh I so know what you are talking about. I am really bad about this also. Over the years I have kinda let go of this thinking. I have had to surrender to the fact that if I should get Cancer I really have very little control over it. I mean I get regular check ups and take care of my body by working out and eating right but beyond that you really have no control. Surrender to that fact...DOn't fear and try not to let these thought contol you to much. I have learned that by dweling on things that really have no relavence in my life I am wasting my life away in a way that is worse than cancer. So the best advice I can give is let go and who cares if you or I or someone we loved gets Cancer we will deal with it then....On the other end WHAT IF ....you never got cancer noone you loved ever got cancer and cancer didn't exisit WHAT IF?

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:10 pm

Oh yes, I too have had the same thoughts. I have come to terms with the fact that if you are going to get it there is nothing you can do. You just have to focus on the positive things and take it one day at a time. If I was to get it I will deal with it when it comes. It is a waste of energy for me now to focus on something that may never happen. I will have wasted so much time worrying about it. I can understand what you are saying...I still struggle with it sometimes...take care and keep your chin up! Try to think of something happy when you get scary thoughts...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:11 pm

I am in your exact boat! I appreciate the comments that others posted. It is a waste of time. I sometimes feel like maybe it's more of me not living my life to the fullest so I worry what if I die and then I didn't live life they way I wished I would have. Also it comes down to having faith that what ever happens in life is supposed to. All it does is make us not appreciate and live in the moment. We miss out on so many things anticipating something that might never happen. Also cancer doesn't always mean a death sentance.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:23 pm

I always think that someone is going to die. I used to go into my children's room every night before I went to sleep to be sure they were still breathing. Whenever I would get up to go the the bathroom I would check again. As they got older I didn't do that so much, but I thought they would die in a car accident, or on prom night or graduation night. Then it transferred to my husband. I still think he is going to die and leave me all alone and I cannot depend on myself. How will I live? How would I survive? I can't afford to take care of myself. Oh My god what if my parents die. They are in their early 70's and still going strong, but I still need them. I can't take it if they die. I have good days, but sometimes in the still of the night, OH Boy those wheels turn and turn and turn. I don't know how to make them stop.
Hopeful

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:19 am

me too.....I worry all the time about my health about my family, my kids. If my kids go somewhere I feel like what if this is the last time I see them and they get into an accident.

I was sick this weekend with a cold and didnt have the energy to travel to wisconsin but I went partly cuz I felt I had to and the other reason I thought what if my entire family gets into an accident and leaves me all alone.

So I understand.
I dont know how to stop it sometimes I get so mad I just say go ahead do it. get the thing Im so scared of I dare you...but that only leads me to feeling bad and begging forgiveness for thinking this way.

I do my tapes and I try to apply my skills my only answer is that Im obviously not doing the skills to the best of my ability and have to keep redoing and redoing these lessons.

My New Years Wish we all can be rid of this Anxeity and what if thinking!
Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:55 am

This was my biggest source of anxiety. Basically the way I got it to subside is to always remember the FEAR acronym (False Evidence Appearing Real). That helps me get my mind back to the present moment. Also try not to apply a "secondary fear" to your first thought, when you do that the vicious cycle begins. Remind yourself that you are your safe person. My doctor and therapist both told me a while ago to quit worrying about every little ache and pain....when it's something you'll know it and until then, IF t hen ever comes, don't worry. All of this is easier SAID than DONE, but I have found over the last 6-7 months since I finished the program that I bring on the symptoms/thoughts myself and I still use the relaxation tape and whatever CD I need to to remind me of my skills.
I read a good book by DR.s Asmundson and Taylor. It is about health anxiety and it is very informative and follows many of the same principles as the program. You can look them up on amazon.com. The name of the book is "It's Not All In Your Head: How worrying about your health could be making you sick.

My best advice is the when the wheels of negative thought start turning...distract yourself with something else and keep moving to get out of that circle.

Hope this helps.......

Nikki Jo · Post by **Nikki Jo** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:32 am

This also used to be my biggest issue. I was in a constant state of fear of cancer. Even though I knew it was ridiculous I could not convince myself that I didn't have it. Here is what I did. I did the normal program writing down the thought and writing down the positive truthful response. This helps a good deal. The next thing I did was realize this. Sometimes I just could not convince myself that I didn't have a brain tumor. THe thought just stuck in my mind no matter what I told myself. So instead of trying to fight the thought, I said "look I think I have brain cancer, but the longest this ever lasts is two weeks". By realizing that the fear will eventually go away on its own, the next time you get the fear it will last less long. Once you keep realizing that the fear will go away, it disarms a lot of it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:52 am

Thank you for all of your advise. I begin to feel like I am the only one stressing about getting cancer. I appreciate that some of you are cured from this as I "worry" that I will never enjoy life, my kids, trips, etc. because I always think that one of us has cancer. Thanks again, you all are so positive.