This is the first day I've been alone in 3 years and I'm scared!

Shandee Houston · Post by **Shandee Houston** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:27 am

Alot of what ifs are going on. Most of all being alone is new to me. It is only for 3 hours, but I haven't done it in 3 years. At 32 years old, this is so embarassing that I feel this way. But it's true. No one at my job would ever believe me! I pretty much got off of my anti anxiety meds and took 4 pills today, couldn't sleep last night and woke up with the high anxiety this morning for what I'm about to face now. I'm scared because I guess I've never been courageous enough to float through panic or anxiety, how do you do that? I'm so used to depending on others to feel grounded and not alone, that I don't know what to do with myself now that I'm faced with it. I'm literally having to get reaquainted with myself. Wow! Amazing isn't it? Learning to love yourself is quite difficult. I know I'm a good person, but why do I have such problems being with just me!? I dunno............................ I'm just venting to whom ever will listen. Trying to keep myself distracted, that is key, right?

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:23 am

Sandee, I went through the very same thing started in 1998. After 2 failed marriages one 21yrs the other 3 months I felt I needed to get in touch with myself before I tried again. I joined a local church and threw myself into Bible study and anything I could volunteer with the church. Long story short I met the love of my life after being single for ten years! It was so worth it now because I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I learned alot but the main thing was to learn to love myself. I can now be the almost perfect husband to the one I love, Bruce

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:09 am

I know what u r going thru...my husband has been out of work all wk..cause i feel so scared to stay home by myself here lately...afraid i will panic and pass out and then worry about my son with down's in the house alone. if something were to happen to me. wow these feelings came from out of no where,cause use too didn't bother me a bit to be by self..afraid to drive also..i gotta get a hold of this just don't know how...i'm taking the lexapro but it seems to send me into more panic attacks,then helping me...i'm beginning to think i'm one of those pepole that can't take it. i didn't take it last night and i slept alot better,still felt panic when i got up and startled moving around so i took one of my clopan and feeling alot calmer now..just don't know about the lexapro though...it makes me more crazier feeling....any advice

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:00 am

Shandee Houston:
I have to be alone alot of the times too, and I'm ridiculous when I'm alone with alot of crying. Don't feel embarrassed about it cause your not alone. I depend on my mother alot and it seems embarassing. It's good that we are able to post our feelings here. I can totally relate to you.

iffer_16 · Post by **iffer_16** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 12:01 pm

I used to go through the same thing. I hated alone time. It happens when I go through periods of great anxiety.

A few years back I went to a therapist who helped me to love spending time with myself. She gave me a book called The Women's Book of Comfort which is full of one or two page "retreats" one can take alone to enjoy their time alone or get their mind off things. I still open it about once a month to get a new great idea! I also came up with a huge list of hobbies (such as hiking, yoga, crafts, cake decorating, cooking etc.) that I love to do when I have some free time.

The best thing to tell yourself is that your perfectly fine. You are your own safe person. Maybe if you know your going to have alone time, and your uncomfortable, you could have a cup of chamomile tea or take a Calms (by Forte) herbal tablet for relaxation. They both helped me greatly and still do.