I think my fiance has a SEX addiction (emails/texts) and I don't know what else!

YvonneP · Post by **YvonneP** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:42 am

Hi All,

It's embarassing to say ~ but a few weeks ago I discovered an email my fiance sent to a woman. It was a picture of his penis. The title of the email was "enjoy." She wrote back some profanity - and he responded - "Don't tese me - When?"

My struggle is.... he swears he would never do it again... AND it is a JOKE. I'm so upset.

Is this a disorder?

Stagerlee · Post by **Stagerlee** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:09 am

Yvonne, this is no disorder its more of a cad. You need to run for your life because this will be followed by more of the same. There is no joke concerning this and if its thought as one its a sign of deep sickness. You deserve better and the trust has already been broken. Save yourself from this and many more to come, Bruce

R.Younger · Post by **R.Younger** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:11 am

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Yvonne there is such thing as sexual addictions. I would suggest yall get online and find the closest SLAA meeting. It's just like AA but it is for sex and love addicts. Hope this helps! Kitten</span>

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:34 am

WOW I had something similar happen to me from my EX of 9 years...on his cell phone he had over 25 shot of women with stuff on the face ( if you know what I mean). I wasn't snooping at all I wanted to find the picture he had of me and then I saw these. If left a wierd feeling inside my stomach. On your cell phone..what. He has major issues ..he actually used sex as a pacifier. Good times, really bad times...or anything else we would have sex. NOT NORMAL...people who are sex addicts need help. I remember at the end of our relationship..he didn't even care that i wasn't mentally there anymore..but he would still have to do it with me. I found that the most craziest thing. Then once I left him..2 weeks after I left him he went and found someone new...that says something.. the sex wasn't love, it was a NEED..like a pacifier for a child.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:34 am

Hello YvonneP:
I agree with Stagerlee and Bridgemr.

Run for your life.

This person is not right for you at all.

Don't have anything to do with him. This will only get worse , not better.

Take care!
MaryJane

CG822 · Post by **CG822** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:05 am

Get rid of him!!! It wasnt a joke! Your a fool if you believe it!!!!

Not a sex addiction!...come on people...

you eserve better. If he is doing this and u arent married yet, then what will happen then you ARE!? If you let him get away with this, he will think he can do it again. dont let him fool u!!!

YvonneP · Post by **YvonneP** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:38 am

Hi All,

Thanks for all of your advice!!!
He has told me I am over reacting and it was just a joke..... My therapist told me the same thing as all of you have. I'm telling my psychiatrist this Monday & plan on rolling out my plan this week.

It's so sad... But thanks so much for all the comments! You guys are great!

Dodger · Post by **Dodger** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:17 pm

yvonne.....I agree Run like hell.
and dont look back.

Dodger.

suzzie · Post by **suzzie** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:28 pm

yvonne,
Do you really need to take on something like this? Not at all, please don't settle, in a way, isn't that part of what we are all trying to get past (low self-esteem) Keep telling yourself, that you are worth so much more. In time, I'm sure you'll find someone who really deserves YOU! Everyone is right, this won't get any better by marrying this person. Practice loving yourself and stop this before it causes you more pain and anxiety. Take care. Suzzie

YvonneP · Post by **YvonneP** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:52 am

Hi All....
So here's my update...
My psychiatrist feels that he has alot of signs of "immaturity" and feels he may be able to take responsiblity for his actions & become a better man.

I have approached my Fiance and asked that he gets therapy to understand WHY he did this while engaged to be married. He agreed.
Now he is trying to accomodate me and MY NEEDS for happiness.

Overall inside I'm still very depressed and "unsure" about this. He has been attentive, remorseful and seems to really want to make this work.

Do I stay and see if there are results? Or do I go - move on -- and say goodbye to our 2 years.....

Any thoughts?