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Well, where do I begin. I have been diagnosed with OCD and to this day I have been on Paxil, Effexor, Anafranil, Celexa, and Lexapro. I have been on 20mg of Lexapro and 50mg of Anafranil now for a week. The anafranil is not new but the Lexapro is. Me and my girlfriend have been through some not good times lately and my obsessions are coming back again with regards to harming her. This scares me SO much that I even had a panic attack last night. Do I keep taking the Lexapro and see if this wears off because I felt so good the first couple of days of taking it. I also had my dose of anafranil lowered but as of today, upped it back to what it was. I feel like I am going crazy and I have no way out. Feels like I will go crazy and actually carry out the obsessions although they scare me so much. Can anyone help

I know how you feel. I have many times had panic attacks related to my pure "O" OCD. One time it was in a restaurant. I just ran to the bathroom crying. There is A LOT of helpful advice here for you.

What I'm learning through all the great information is you have to know you're not going to act on these thoughts. You're NOT. No matter how strong these thoughts are... they're just thoughts. Also, the more you try to push the thoughts away and repress them the more frequent they will become. A good example I saw is to not think of the red ball. What do you think of? You have to weaken the the thoughts by accepting them. When they come around just think "Hello there, you're welcome here." or think "Thats just my disorder trying to scare me." And go about your business. Once you find a way to weaken them they will come around less frequently.

I currently am trying exposure therapy. Luckily, I'm able to confide in my family about my OCD but I realize not everyone may be able to. Yesterday, my husband handed me knives and had me stand around in the kitchen talking to him and my daughter with them. My daughter definetly thought it was strange. I just told her "I don't like knives so Daddy wants me to hold them just like when you don't like your beans and we have you try them." I also have been setting time aside to ruminate or just be anxious and worry about the thoughts. So throughout the evening if a thought comes around I just think "I will have time to deal with you tomorrow morning." Then when that time comes I just let it flow and look up articles to help desensitize myself to them.

When it comes down to it. You're not going to hurt her. It's just you're mind. I think thats the most comforting then when I have a spike is to think that. If you're worried about it, you know it's wrong, you won't do anything. It's just you're mind.

If you'd like to have someone to talk to 1:1 about this please feel free to PM me. Best of luck!

This is such good advice, Roxy. I also highly recommend exposure therapy, Spencer. There is no need for you to live in fear like this. You will not hurt your girlfriend. We know this, and we want you to know this. Howard Liebgold, MD has a book out that deals with obsessive scary thinking. It's called Freedom from Fear. YOU CAN HEAL FROM THIS.

Practice allowing those thoughts to come and go. With practice you will learn to underreact and just let the thoughts be there. When you no longer resist they will not bother you. They come less and less and in time you will beable to dismiss them easily.

Read the other posts on OCD. They will comfort you and motivate you to do the work that is necessary to heal from this.

It does not matter what your thought content is. It's all obsessive scary thinking and it's all a pack of lies. You are OK. You are safe, and so is your girlfriend.

Thank you so much it means a lot. Is it normal to doubt my sanity though? Like when people tell me everything will be ok, part of me knows it, butpart of me wants to keep reassuring myself that it will be ok. Part beleives while the other part does not beleive. Its really hard on me.

Yes, doubting is the nature of ocd. It gets better tho. The more you work on yourself, and practicing exposure therapy is an important part of that work, the stronger you get and you learn to trust yourself through it all.

Persevere.

hi guys im not sure what i have i ahve experianced panic attacks and anxiety . plus i have really weird thoughts about dying and and sometimes i wake up and wonder if im in a dream??? Im scared right now my doctor has put me on anitdepressant and ativaan and i worry bout them too im scred to go out im scared to be in im just scared of everything right now.( this all started when i became sick months ago but i had tendency to anxiety before hand. i remeber the thoughts of did i poision our supper or will i hurt somone in my sleep. i feel so unreal right now doing the same things everyday wondering . i have messed myself up so much i need to know how to get out of it. thanjks for listening

I am sorry you are experiencing such a rough time right now. I too have been having thoughts of dying. It has been becoming an obsessive thought for me and is causing me a lot of anxiety. I am hoping with this program and help from God I will make it through and I think if you stick with this program you will find that everyday will get a little better.