Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everyone!

I had been here before almost 2 years ago when I was pregnant and first became an anxious thinkier. I was so scared of hurting myself, or my baby or anyone. The fear went away because i started educating myself about ocd and did therapies and meds. Now my worst fear is becoming schizo. I had this fear before and it came back,. Gosh I cant relax, all I think is what if I become schizo. My doctor reassured me so so many times I am not or will not become, but my what if is right there ya know?

Like before I was releif that I was not going to become shizo first because I never had any symptons and second because of my age, but then I read that for women it can start later than men, so now i am worried since I am 30 years old. I am constantly making sure I never hear anything is not real or see anything is not real. Like, when i am with my husband I ask him...Did you hear that, or see that? And he always see or hear what i did too, so it is a relief i am not seeing things. Also I try my hardest to go back to my early age to see if I ever had any symptons of being schizo but I cant rememember having any, but I sure try to make sure everyday I never had anything to do with schizo when I was young.

Than when i get relief and believe I am not schizo and I have ocd "only" I start feeling guilty because the people wiht schizophrenia suffers and I have ocd, a treatble condition. Am I a mess or what??? lol
Well I am sorry for the long post and thank you all for the support!

Hi,
Its my first post here but I have been struggling with OCD for the past 2 years. For a year and a half it went away, then i started again. From harmful thoughts to relathionship to thinking that because I have done something in the past (I kicked my dog - once) I am a psycho - if I am a psycho - than maybe it's schizophrenia.. When I actually go through the process of those thoughts I know how stupid they are, but yes, I freak out too.
I can change in a day thinking that I have ADHD to ASD to schizo to becoming a psychopath - I studied psychopaths psychological profile all day today just to find / not find any relations with my state
You'll be ok - we both we'll be! You're not schizophrenic, I am not psycho either
It's just this annoying 'O' of constantly controlling yourself to make sure..

Just to add - I am a female of 32 - and really wanting a child. Got married last year, all was ok and now those thoughts - I am actually scared of having a baby and thinking maybe I shouldn't have one as if I kicked my dog (I feel so guilty about it - I cannot remember why I did it, or whether I actually did it!!) I may harm a baby.

I totally get the fear of mental illness! I always worried about being schizophrenic, since I am a big worrier And since I have been diagnosed with OCD and haveing scary thoughts I worry that it is because of a terrible mental illness and not OCD. I analyze my every thought to "make sure" that I am not and constantly check with myself to make sure I am not.

It has helped seeing a therapist who can diagnose me and tell me if it is something else. If you aren;t seeing one, I highly recommend it. But, even then I still doubt haha

OCD is a pain in the butt. It makes you think lies are truth. I also worry that because I am having these thoughts that I am a psycopath! I DO NOT want to do them, but because even the thoughts are so unlike me I think there has to be something wrong with me.

I think accepting that it is OCD and nothing else is a big part in getting better, otherwise we just keep looking for reasons as to why we have these thoughts.

Take care! My prayers are with you!

Hey Luli
I really understand where you are coming from. My anxiety really stems from that fear. I have seen a therapist who has always reassured me but it did not help at times. We have to have confidence in ourselves. My aunt is schiz and has even reasuured me. LOL That was an awkard conversation. It gets better. Being on here has really helped me and also positive self talk. I really want to close this anxious chapter in my life. If you ever need anyone to talk to just send me a PM.