Afraid
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Guest
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Guest
OMG! LIS. I WISH I COULD HUG YOU. I DONT HAVE ANY ANSWERS FOR YOU BUT YOU AND I COULD BE THE SAME PERSON IN DIFFERENT BODIES. IT IS SO WEIRD HOW SIMILAR OUR THOUGHTS ARE. MY THOUGHTS ALL STARTED WITH A DREAM THAT I HAD. I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS IN THE SNOW UP IN THE MOUNTIANS AND I KILLED SOME GIRL I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE WAS IN MY DREAM BUT I DID IT AND IT WAS SO VIVID(OH AND I CANT GO TO THE SNOW AND MORE). IT WAS NO MORE THEN TWO DAYS LATER THAT I RAN TO MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND ASKED TO COME OVER AND SIT WITH ME BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID I WAS GONNA HURT MY KIDS IN MY SLEEP(I DIDNT TELL HER THAT OF COURSE). SO SHE DID UNTIL MY HUSBAND GOT HOME AND THEN SHE DROVE ME TO THE MENTAL HEALTH BUT I DIDNT TELL THEM WHAT I WAS REALLY THERE FOR SO THEY SENT ME HOME. MY HUSBAND HAD TO SWITCH HIS SHIFTS AT WORK BECAUSE I WAS TO AFFRAID TO BE WITH MY KIDS AT NIGHT I THOUGHT I WOULD GET OUT OF BED AND SUFFOCATE THEM OR SOMTHING. THEN I STOPPED WATCHING TV AND THE NEWS I COULD EVEN LOOK AT MOVIES COVERS OR TITLES THAT HAD BAD THINGS ON THEM. AND I STILL CANT ALL I DO KNOW IS THAT I CAME TO THE POINT THAT I KNOW I WONT DO THOSE THINGS AND I AM FUNCTIONING BETTER THEN BEFORE AS FAR AS TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS. BUT MY NEW THING IS THE SPACEY FEELING THAT I HAVE ALL DAY EVERYDAY AND THOUGHTS THAT "WHAT IF" IM SCITZOFRINIC OR DILUSIONAL. IM HOPING THAT WILL GO AWAY TOO IF THAT WOULD GO AWAY I THINK I COULD BE NORMAL AGAIN. HOW OLD ARE YOU LIS? WHEN DID THIS START FOR YOU? WHAT WAS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE? LOTS OF LOVE CANDICE
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Guest
Lis 1234,
The very first scary thoought that I had was to kill my cat and that was 7 years ago. I still obsess on that thought. Sometimes I can't be around him at times because it hurts me to think this way. I love my cat with all of my heart and there were times that these toughts would go away for like months or even years at a time, but they kept coming back.
One evening my cousin invited me over to watch a movie. She rented house of 1000 corpses. During that movie all of these scary thoughts and weird feelings started to happen and I was terrifed during the rest of the movie, since then 7 years ago I am unable to watch anything with violence because it triggers my thoughts. I hate it! I too have thoughts that I am going to go crazy, or lose control and actually act out on one of my thoughts. What if I am that person, how does one lose control like that, what makes a person commit suicide. I have all of the thoughts that you do! All of them! and its not easy at all.
One evening me and my best friend were talking about my disorder and all of a sudden I asked her what would she do if a thought just popped into her head to kill her daughter? She paused for a moment and said, "amber I have had that thought before". she doesn't even have ocd disorder. The difference between me and her is that I obsess on the thought and she did not. She let it go. We are extremeley sensitive people and we let these thoughts drag us down, but the best thing to do is to ignore the thoughts. I know you are probably saying how? Its extrememly difficult, but the less you obsess the less they come. I try not to have a reaction to the thought, but its difficult. The thought wants to be entertained, but don't entertain it. Distract yourself by doing something productive, dont waste your time on these thoughts. Oh and stay away from the news and violence on tv, whether it be fact or fiction we still freak ourselves out. I only watch things that are funny or interesting like hgtv. Its less stressful that way.
I hope that everything gets better. Take care!
Amber
The very first scary thoought that I had was to kill my cat and that was 7 years ago. I still obsess on that thought. Sometimes I can't be around him at times because it hurts me to think this way. I love my cat with all of my heart and there were times that these toughts would go away for like months or even years at a time, but they kept coming back.
One evening my cousin invited me over to watch a movie. She rented house of 1000 corpses. During that movie all of these scary thoughts and weird feelings started to happen and I was terrifed during the rest of the movie, since then 7 years ago I am unable to watch anything with violence because it triggers my thoughts. I hate it! I too have thoughts that I am going to go crazy, or lose control and actually act out on one of my thoughts. What if I am that person, how does one lose control like that, what makes a person commit suicide. I have all of the thoughts that you do! All of them! and its not easy at all.
One evening me and my best friend were talking about my disorder and all of a sudden I asked her what would she do if a thought just popped into her head to kill her daughter? She paused for a moment and said, "amber I have had that thought before". she doesn't even have ocd disorder. The difference between me and her is that I obsess on the thought and she did not. She let it go. We are extremeley sensitive people and we let these thoughts drag us down, but the best thing to do is to ignore the thoughts. I know you are probably saying how? Its extrememly difficult, but the less you obsess the less they come. I try not to have a reaction to the thought, but its difficult. The thought wants to be entertained, but don't entertain it. Distract yourself by doing something productive, dont waste your time on these thoughts. Oh and stay away from the news and violence on tv, whether it be fact or fiction we still freak ourselves out. I only watch things that are funny or interesting like hgtv. Its less stressful that way.
I hope that everything gets better. Take care!
Amber