Stress Center Peer Support

I hit my bottom six years ago and I purchased this program. It worked amazingly and I was able to find myself coping with my anxiety, depression and OCD. I understood that it was never going to go away completely however I had the tools to handle it. I have recently started a new job however and I thought that this was the career of my dreams. Now here I am 3 months into it and still having a hard time getting the ropes of this new position. I was giving myself the benefit of the doubt and thinking I was doing well since I was new until my boss said that my progress is taking too long. Now I am doubting myself more and more, losing all confidence and hitting the slippery slope of relapse. Last week I found myself cleaning my closets at 2 in the morning and sorting the pens in my "junk" drawer. I have also started having a hard time leaving the house in the morning. What happens is that I get into my car and then have to go back into the house and make sure that I didn't leave anything on. Mind you, I don't turn anything on in the morning, I don't drink coffee don't curl my hair, nothing. Then after getting to my car the second time, I have to get out again and make sure the door is shut. All the while, my husband is still in the house getting ready to leave for work. I have tried to leave and then end up obsessing about the things I didn't check. I call my husband to check on things and then I still worry that he missed something. The drive is getting stronger the more stressed I become with this job. My panic attacks are returning and I feel like I have no control, which I think is triggering all of this. The hard thing is how do stay focused enough to do the job properly if I'm freaking out all the time. It feels like I'm going crazy and I can feel and see it happening but I can't do anything about it....again.

I do the same things that you do. First of all, I can tell you why its starting back up. you are stressed out from your job and when we get stressed out..our ocd comes out full blast. What I do that helps me a lot is that if I am leaving and I think...oh god did I turn off the straightener...I make a habit. When I am in the house I walk thru and I actually say out loud to myself...the straightener is off...the oven is off....whatever is off. And then that way I KNOW it is off. This has helped me a lot and hopefully it will help you. Another thing that I also do is...as HARD as this is, when you get in the car and you feel that fear of did I turn off the ______? You said yourself you didnt even use it. Fight that fear and that urge to check. IT will suck and you will feel like crap, but not doing it is really the only way to move past it. Eventually you will get busy during the day and not even think about it. At least that is what I do! I hope this has helped you. You are not losing your mind...you are perfectly healthy and a lot of people struggle with this. You made it thru it once...and you will again. Be strong!!!

October,

Do not dispair. You need to realize that this obsessive side of you is going to rear its head from time to time throughout your life. Understand this. Don't be disappointed. Instead be compassionate toward yourself. You understand this about yourself so there is no need to be upset by it. Accept it. Share it with your husband so that he can accept it.

That said - Mallory gave you excellent information. Just drive away. Leave it. Feel that anxiety that wants you to go back and check, check, check. You aren't going to check this time. You are going to take charge and leave for work. That feeling of HAVING to go back and check will leave you about a block from your house. "It" has to know that you mean business when you decide not to check. Your only real fear is the feelings of anxiety. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS.

Success is guaranteed when you do this.

Practice. We look forward to hearing about your victory.