Stress Center Peer Support

im gay and have accepted myself for it but i get scared when i doubt myself that im not. its the worst feeling but i keep reassuring myself that im gay. its what i want to be and i dont wanna change but that fear and those thoughts are still there. has anyone overcome this?

Hi, I go throw the very same thoughts and fears. What I have done is to see how I react to men being around me and if I am attracted to them or have my heart in the relationship. I never do have my heart in it and I know now that these doubts and fears are a way for me to go back to the part of my psychic that wants to be ok in society, and not have to face the "disrespect" and many other "side effects" of being gay. It has gotten better over time and when I do start to get afraid, I tell myself that I am not going to react to the thought that generates my fear and that for me is God will not love me and I feel shame. Well, I am overcoming that with God does love me and I talk to others who have the love of God in their heart and are gay.

thank you for sharing boriz52. i feel though that i will get passed and live a normal life while being gay.

Hi Guys -

I'm gay too (there's actually quite a few of us on this site). In my case, I suffered the opposite fear. For years I tried to be straight fearing that I was gay. I had myself so convinced that I was straight by repressing all of my feelings that I actually got married. Of course the marriage didn't last because I couldn't hide my true sexuality. I finally came out at age 30 and now am in a committed relationship with my partner of four years.

The point of all this is that we are what we are. There's no point in fearing or fighting it. If you're gay, that's okay, If you're straight, that's okay too. Either way, accept yourself for who you are and be happy. Don't spend your life beating yourself up for who you think you might be. Life is too short for that.

Good luck to both of you!
Jamie

thank you SeaRunner your story is an inspiration for me. i know this will go away in time with the help of this program too=]

I've read of this type of OCD: It's referred to as "HOCD" as in "homosexual OCD," but your "H" would be for "heterosexual OCD"!

Basically, people with HOCD obsess that they're not the sexual orientation they know themselves to be. "What if I'm (not) gay?!"

The key, I've read, is to learn to be able to tell yourself, "So what?"

If nothing else, take the responses here as comfort that you're not alone!

I find I am obsess whether I'm gay "enough."
I obsess that I don't read enough by gay authors, or attend enough gay pride events. I obsess over whether or not I made a statement that was considered homophobic.

In fact, I was on a gay support site, and I made a comment about something, and I was reported for being homophobic. Now, I'm terrified of even thinking such things...