Stress Center Peer Support

This is awkward for me to admit, so please bear with me. I have been told by therapists in the past that I show minor OCD tendencies.. I am a counter and tend to be very organized..... those have been the only attributes. I worry now that my obessesive tendencies may be changing.

As a woman in her 30s this is quite embarassing, but I have found myself completely infatuated with a movie star. One much younger then myself. I have found myself searching his name on the internet daily, trying to learn about him and maybe find a way to meet him.

I have these adolscent fantasies of meeting him and him feeling the same way about me as I do about him. I try to find ways to justify these feelings, thoughts like he shares the name of both of my grandfathers who are deceased and I never met, he appears to have the same personality I do (oddly enough he admits to anxiety attacks and is very shy), he loves music as do I, all these things must mean I was destined to meet him.

Just listening to myself right now, I know how silly this sounds, but I cannot stop. I read an article about Katie Holmes and how when she was a little girl she wanted to marry Tom Cruise. It was not that she obessessed over him or tried to track him down, she just had a feeling and a confidence that this was going to happen one day. She thought I am a fun girl, he'll like me, why not... and we all know, she did marry him. I think why can't that be me.

Please help. I am losing my mind??

I don't think it is an obsession in the OCD sense. Those usually are thoughts that are unpleasant. But I'd call it more an infactuation. And maybe its a good distraction for you. Do you think there is something that this star has that you are lacking in your own love life and all this dreaming about him gives you those good feelings that we get when we have a crush brewing or when we are falling in love? I recently had a similiar situation where I read the Twilight Books. I became obsessed with the main male character and actually felt that I was in love with him, a fictional character. Then I find out alot of my friends felt this way too while they were reading those books. We all agreed that it was because his character was so perfect in our eyes and our husband were not like that anymore. I guess just try to see if something is bothering you and is this star someone who you using to distract yourelf?

Thank you Rose. Ironically, I am referring to the actor who played the lead rold in Twilight. Wow, this must be an epidemic and someone should do a show on it!

I have come to realize why I am attacted to the character in the movie and I have been able to differentiate between the actor and the role, I think. But, what I am finding is I am attracted to the actor more... particularly his music.

I feel like such an idiot for thinking that if I could just meet him, he would feel the same about me as I do about him. So childish I know. He may be nothing like what interviews depict him to be. Yet, I feel this pull to find out.