Scary, obsessive thoughts.

Suffering from OCD? Post your history, experience, comments and/or suggestions
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1254smit
Posts: 53
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:06 am

Scary, obsessive thoughts.

Post by 1254smit » Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:58 pm

Let me start by saying that I got this program in 2012 when my anxiety was so bad I was only 18 and I felt I couldn't leave my house. Well I started college and everything seemed to go away. I was living my life. During public speaking I talked with a therapist because this anxiety was from that class. It was so helpful and I never experienced any anxiety, insomnia, no scary thoughts. Well my boyfriend got a new job right after I got my associates degree in May 2014 We moved from Kansas to iowa on July 3rd. My anxiety went crazy for a few days and I got it under control. I started school (nursing Bsn) and was doing fine. NO ANXIETY AND I COULD sit in class fine. My bf had to go to Dallas for a week for work. The week before he had to leave which was nov10 2014, I started noticing dizziness, anxious feelings. I went to doctor to see if I was sick and everything was fine. Well the weekend that my bf was suppose to leave I went into a vicious cycle of panic attacks and scary thoughts like if I am alone I'll hurt my self and I don't know anyone around here I am so scared. Well that week was brutal because I got strep throat that Monday. My BF was gone that whole week and I was in such anxiety and scary thoughts I didn't leave my couch lol. Now it's dec 1 (almost) and I am still on the vicious cycle. My thoughts are hurting myself. (Like what if I shoot my self) images are scary and I went to doctor who prescribed me lexapro, well I still haven't taken it. Too scared I'll hurt myself within the first couple of weeks I am on it. I do t understand why I feel this way? I thought I ended my anxiety because I was doing great and now I am back into this vicious cycle and I don't know how to get out of it. And I am scared about these thoughts. Also I am waking up in middle of night every day again... Ugh!! Help!

bob p
Posts: 137
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:52 pm

Re: Scary, obsessive thoughts.

Post by bob p » Tue Dec 02, 2014 12:34 am

hello 1254smit, i dont want sound like its nothing but it is. you arent going to do anything. i promise you that. these thoughts are all ways you are coping with the stressors on your life. get back to the program and it WILL help you again. i do the same exact thing to myself but i never see what i am doing until months later when i see all the stressful thing that have happened that i did not deal with in a proper way. i am actually in the process of starting the program again and if you would like i will see you on the monthly blog. good luck and dont worry your going to be just fine. breathe.

coach21
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:01 pm

Re: Scary, obsessive thoughts.

Post by coach21 » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:19 am

Hi 1254smit,

Couldn't help responding to your post because I experienced and successfully overcame the feeling of anxiety and depression associated with the thoughts of which you described. When our symptoms of anxiety manifest i.e. "dizziness, anxious feelings...." our confidence takes a hit. When our confidence takes a hit we begin to question every obscure, automatic thought that may pop in our head. An obscure thought in regards to hurting yourself pops in your head and you respond to this thought with a lot of irrational "what if's" "what if I really hurt myself" "why am I having these thoughts" "does this mean I really want to hurt myself...." ultimately establishing and reinforcing alot of false conclusions about yourself. We insert question marks where God put periods creating a vicious cycle of anxiety and panic for ourselves i.e. "vicious cycle of panic attacks and scary thoughts..". We develop a fear of the thoughts themselves and our initial reaction is to try to stop the thoughts which ultimately results in variations of the thoughts themselves i.e. "I am scared about these thoughts..." "images are scary...". What happens when we try not to think of the sunset? We think of the sunset. Our goal is not to stop the obscure, scary thoughts because their is ample research to support that all humans get thoughts of which you described. Rather our goal is to ELIMINATE THE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ASSOCIATED WITH THESE THOUGHTS. Reality is the fact that your recognized these thoughts as irrational is pure evidence supporting the fact that your of sane mind and incapable of hurting yourself. I am employed as a coach for the StressCenter and successfully helped myself and countless others eliminate the anxiety and depression associated with these thoughts. I know the anxiety and frustration you are experiencing and I have a lot of information and resources to share. Feel free to contact me through this site or directly at mikesc21@hotmail. com. God bless.

Mike Peer Support

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